re: How did you ask your s/o dad for permission?

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Or had one of your son in laws ask for your daughter? My girlfriends dad is an intimidating man and I tried once and he didn’t say yes or no. Wondering how I can bring it up again.

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I asked both of her parents at the same time.

I would think the response to this would vary depending on how great her father was vs. how bad he was. My FIL is a selfish piece of shite so there was absolutely no permission or even discussion of anything. I could see a much different situation if he was a loving father. Respect is reserved for those who deserve it.

I didn’t ask for permission, I asked for his blessing.

If you beat around the bush, and he didn’t bite. Then there’s your answer. I know someone who had that happen and he gets shite from his FiL constantly.

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My girlfriends dad is an intimidating man and I tried once and he didn’t say yes or no

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He already doesn’t respect you because you didn’t make him give you an answer. Either that, or he is a weasel and not the man you think he is.

But if he is, he’s trying you to see if you’re persistent enough to win his approval and in his mind that means you value her above your own ego, and thus yourself. You need to assure him that her life in your hands is in his best interest.

Do you believe it is? If so, shouldn’t be too hard to convince him. If not, then he’ll be able to detect your weak bullshite, which is what I suspect happened.

In his mind, if you’re afraid of him then you’re gonna be too afraid to be the man to protect her.

I made my FIL realize that I wasn’t going to leave there without his blessing because his daughter is my future, there isn’t one without the other, and I’d give my life for hers and treat her with respect. I looked him in the eyes without hesitation or anxiety because I was 100% sure. He could tell, and gave me his blessing.

We were driving back on the causeway after a round of golf and I just asked him for his blessing. I mean it was awkward and not as smooth as I state in my first sentence but he gave me his blessing and it felt like a bit of relief.

It ain’t that big of deal. Just let him know. If y’all have only been dating two months and just met then it might be a bigger deal than I’m stating but we dated three years and I was graduating college in a few months. It was more of a natural progression of things.

Wife had ok relationship with her step dad, but not one where I certainly felt I had to ask. Hell I didn’t even tell my parents what I was planning. For her birth father - I met him at the wedding so that card was never on the table.

My sister has a real close relationship with my parents and her now husband asked and my dad said no. He gave him a few things think about and come back afterward - he did and he gave his blessing.

Moral of the story, I think a lot depends on that relationship between your potential wife and her family. Would this show not only her but her family that you recognize their importance to their daughter’s life and you are wanting to join that family? Then like the others said, find a time when you are alone with him and talk about your intentions and you would like his blessing. Otherwise - have the wife call her mom when the ring is on the finger.

I didn't ask for permission. We didn't even tell our parents we were getting married. We just did it, then hid it for a week before we told everyone.

You don’t

My Dad's story was that he told my Grandfather that he wanted to marry my Mom.
Grandfather: "Over my dead body"
(Dad had a bad reputation in those days)
Dad: "Well, that's as good a way as any".