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re: How did you ask your s/o dad for permission?

Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:18 pm to
Posted by jcaz
Laffy
Member since Aug 2014
15753 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:18 pm to
There was a fairly popular song from a few years back about this topic. You should follow his advice
Posted by Nguyener
Kame House
Member since Mar 2013
20603 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:20 pm to
quote:

I showed my FIL the ring and he just stared at me and said, you sure about this…she is real tough woman.


pretty much how it went for me too.

He said two things:

1. No givebacks
2. Good luck
Posted by lostinbr
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2017
9601 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:33 pm to
quote:

I didn’t ask for permission, I asked for his blessing.

I know it’s been said several times already, but this.

Asking for permission implies that you only intend to follow through if he says yes. If he says no and you do it anyway, then you weren’t genuinely asking. If he says no and you don’t do it, you’re valuing his opinion over your own relationship.

Asking for his blessing is a sign of respect, but it also shows that you intend to follow through either way. Which, honestly, should be the case if you’re getting ready to propose in the first place.

The biggest concern would be if you already know it’s extremely important to the girlfriend (like you know it’s a non-starter without his permission). In that case I think the answer is the same, but you should probably wait until you either have a good relationship with the dad or are willing to lay the cards on the table with the girlfriend if he says no.

I’m trying to figure out how OP asked before and didn’t get an answer. It’s a yes or no question.
Posted by 3nOut
Central Texas, TX
Member since Jan 2013
29027 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:40 pm to
She was out of town for a sorority thing and I drove to their town and asked to take them out to dinner.

Took about an hour. He shook me down about supporting her, leading the family well, spritual things, and how I planned on finishing school while married.

My parents didn’t pay for my school and I said that if anything it was going to save us on rent and I’d work while shefinished school and then I’d finish up afterwards.

Satisfactory answer and we were married 4 month later.

Ironically, I’m watching Father of the Bride with my in laws at this very moment.
Posted by CBP3110
Member since Aug 2012
6599 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:40 pm to
Mines dead
Posted by Jsand43
Member since May 2021
882 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:42 pm to
Beta bitch
Posted by Matthew Foley
Member since Apr 2021
40 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:44 pm to
One of the proudest moments of my life. After I asked for his blessing, and he said yes, he told me he had not asked for the blessing and he always wished he had. It’s an important thing if only as a bonding moment or respect.

I was nervous as all hell. I had what I wanted to say all planned out. I didn’t say half of what I wanted, but I said what mattered.
This post was edited on 8/21/22 at 9:48 pm
Posted by 3nOut
Central Texas, TX
Member since Jan 2013
29027 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:46 pm to
quote:

One of the proudest moments of my life. After I asked for his blessing, and he said yes, he told me he had not asked for the blessing and he always wished he had. It’s an important thing if only as a bonding moment or respect.


My FiL was incredibly cold and kept me at arms length until that moment. It was like a switch flipped after I asked for his blessing.
Posted by Fox McCloud
Member since Oct 2020
3525 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 9:53 pm to
Terrible advice in this thread, I did ask for his blessing and he is also intimidating af. Just pull him aside and tell him you love his daughter blah blah blah and you want to ask him for his blessing to marry her. It’s something you absolutely need to do unless it’s some fricked up situation where dad isn’t around.

Apparently I was supposed to get her moms blessing too because they are divorced but oh well, didn’t do that.
This post was edited on 8/21/22 at 9:59 pm
Posted by ElJefe686
Houston
Member since Nov 2012
794 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:00 pm to
Ask his blessing, not his permission.

Because you are clearly going to do what you want, as a man. You’d just like it if he agreed.
Posted by cgrand
HAMMOND
Member since Oct 2009
38966 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:01 pm to
quote:

Any man worth his manhood would appreciate being approached in a direct and honest way.
what if he’s not worth his manhood? (He wasn’t and I didn’t ask)
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124616 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:04 pm to
quote:

the other one had a self inflicted untimely death.


Had info on Hillary?
Posted by madamsquirrel
The Snarlington Estate
Member since Jul 2009
48960 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:13 pm to
quote:

Apparently I was supposed to get her moms blessing too because they are divorced but oh well, didn’t do that.
my son in law asked my husband (daughters step dad) and myself for our blessing. We gave it and he told us he was going to ask her on an upcoming trip. Her best friend and I texted constantly and tried to guess when/how he would propose. He asked/she said yes and they returned from the trip. They told people including her dad. Dad questions him on why he didn't ask for his blessing. He was telling us this story and said it never occurred to him after he asked my husband and I. Woops. Moral of the story: be an involved dad so you don't get forgotten when the important times happen.
This post was edited on 8/21/22 at 10:14 pm
Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
66507 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:17 pm to
quote:

Moral of the story: be an involved dad so you don't get forgotten when the important times happen.


Or just have parents who don’t get divorced (and understand how to keep a vow) so it’s not complicated.
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
48769 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:29 pm to
I assumed he would be the one to ask me.
Posted by chinese58
NELA. after 30 years in Dallas.
Member since Jun 2004
30528 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:39 pm to
quote:

First time I ever met him I whipped it out and pissed on his foot to assert dominance.
Jack Nicholson Wolf style!

This post was edited on 8/21/22 at 10:41 pm
Posted by parrothead
big salty ham
Member since Mar 2010
4459 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:42 pm to
Called him up asked him to meet me for lunch the next day at a local bbq restaurant. Ended up being him and mom but that’s ok. Put the ring on the table and said I want to marry your daughter. Pretty easy convo with the go ahead.
Posted by armsdealer
Member since Feb 2016
11535 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:46 pm to
quote:

He also told me in a semi-serious, but more so lighthearted manner to be good to her because he still knew how to shoot his guns.


Oh, so he is that guy. What a fricking tool.
Posted by AmosMosesAndTwins
Lake Charles
Member since Apr 2010
17890 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 10:46 pm to
I just straight up told the man I had to shite. It’s only a bathroom. The smell goes away eventually.
Posted by 3deadtrolls
lafayette
Member since Jan 2014
5745 posts
Posted on 8/21/22 at 11:00 pm to
Over a glass of whiskey and a cigar on the back patio.
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