re: Have you ever given a eulogy?

Sad to say, yes, I have. Many times.

I did for my father.

After watching an uncle give the eulogy for his father, my grandfather, I knew that when my dad's time came I would give his eulogy. On many levels I didnt want to have to give that speech, but I felt it was my honor and duty to speak about my dad and who he was and what he meant to my mom, my sister and me. I didn't write out a word-for-word speech. I knew basically what I wanted to say and essentially wrote an outline. Ultimately I just spoke the truth from my heart. It was my way of publicly honoring my dad and showing that I love him. That got me through without breaking down.

A few people came up to me after and said they were impressed with my eulogy and hoped their sons would do the same for then when their time came.

I did for one my son 3 days after he died. Secretly, leading up to it, I wished anybody else would get up and speak about him. Nobody volunteered. I couldn't imagine the Preacher, who barely knew my son, being the only one to speak about him during the service.

I approached the microphone to an absolutely full church. Looking out at all the sad faces of his family, friends and my wife, I felt about as small as a man can. I looked at my outline and could barely see it thru my already building tears. When I looked out and saw his grandpa already crying,(I'll never forget the look on that tough ole sobs, Vietnam Veterans face) I wanted to tuck my tail and slink away as fast as possible.

Then I read the aloud the first scripture on my notes and immediately felt my sons spirit which lifted me up some. It felt like he was standing beside me helping to hold me up. My nervousness reduced and I just started talking about his time on earth and who he was.

I don't really remember exactly what I said, but I do remember, while it was a very sad occasion, there were a couple moments of laughter when I told two stories about my son that only me, his dad would know.

I did also lose it and took an awkward long pause as I cried in front of everyone. I pulled it together enough to finish my thoughts about my son.

In the end, even though I absolutely did not want to do it, I finished it feeling like I had properly honored him better than someone else could.

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I couldn’t bear to have some random preacher giving a generic tribute.

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Hate this

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I did what I felt compelled to do.

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Good for you

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Assuming you're a preacher?

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No but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express.

Actually, yes. Yes I am.

I did it for a stepson from a previous marriage (Iraq and Afghanistan Infantry vet)...

Was asked to do so by his sister and his ex-wife (two different people although it could sound like the same person to certain parts of the OT).

Basically told how he overcame so much to get to where he got to in life...he made me look I was born on third base with a silver spoon in my mouth...that's really saying something from a West Bank Yat!!!!!!

I've given 2, one for my brother and one for one of my best friends. Both died from self inflicted gunshot wounds. I had to break into my brother's house when he didn't show up to work. Horrible experience.

For my brother, I used my time mainly to speak directly to my parents, to let them know that their 3 kids hit the jackpot by having them as parents, that they did everything right. Honestly, I was so mad at him at the time because of what he was putting them through, it really was less about him and more about them. The only time I truly broke down was when I looked out at my dad and he was just uncontrollably sobbing being held up by my mom. Ugh, gives me chills thinking about it. My parents have never been the same, and that's something that I don't think I can ever forgive. My kids will never know what they were like before August 28, 2017. Writing the obit was more difficult for me than the eulogy.

It was harder for me to get through my buddy's. He was a shining light to everyone who knew him and I think about him every day. His mom asked me to do it and there was no way I could say no.

Yes for a good friend of mine. I held it together physically but my voice was shaking the whole time.

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Assuming you're a preacher?


No but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express.

Actually, yes. Yes I am.

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is this place sort of a pressure relief valve for you? given that you can take your preacher hat off for a little while and either laugh at the buffoonery that lives here or either get down on your knees and pray for us before we all go to hell?