re: Getting financially screwed in divorce

Six short months we went together,
decided it should be forever.
Two paychecks were better than one.
A diamond ring, it was done.
Bought her a house like I said I would
in a subdivided neighborhood.
The fuse got short and the nights got long.
It was over, long gone before I knew I was headed to
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
I can't believe what the judge had to tell us.
I got the jeep and she got the palace.
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
Things like this are never final.
I'm still paying on the vinyl
flooring in the laundry room;
it's multi-colored, water proof.
It's a little bit tough to face my friends,
the ones that said that I jumped
in the river of love a little too soon.
That was August, and this is June
and it's a diff'rent tune.
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
I can't believe what the judge had to tell us.
I got the jeep and she got the palace.
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
I can't believe what the judge had to tell us.
I got the jeep and she got the
two bedroom mortgage is due, siding light blue, palace.
I'm goin' through the Big D and don't mean Dallas.
I'm goin' through the Bid D and don't mean Dallas.

Did she hold a gun to your head and force you to sign the papers?

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Going to be hard to co parent with this outcome and see her on a regular basis.

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the kids (2 under 12).

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This may come across as harsh, but you have a decision to make here regarding what you place more value on - your resentment toward her regarding your perceived financial loss or the long-term wellbeing of your children. Any hostility you hold toward her will hurt them in the long run.

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But the financial loss is not about finances, usually. It's about the female control over the ex. Which will be financial, kid access, etc. It doesn't end. To you, it's just $$$ a month, but to him, it's "I was supposed to have the kids, but she has a play date, so I can't have her," etc. It doesn't end. Men focus on not getting drained on money, but women tend to focus on making sure the lives of men are not easy, however they need to make it happen. I think most men deal with it, but when you get that the women DGAF about the kids, and just want to hurt you, that's a moment of cognitive dissonance.

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I understand and agree with the point you’re making. It’s wrong for parents to use the kids to hurt each other.

I would offer that any resentment/hostility he shows toward her regarding finances will be returned to him by her in the manner that you describe of her playing games with visitation and custody exchange. Ultimately, it’s the kids that suffer.

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I figure I get: 50 50 time with the kids the house and interest rate the truck the boat the dog Better deeper friendships and some new ones A strong relationship with father in law and wife Kids stay in private school where I want them A much cleaner more peaceful house She gets 50 50 time with the kids A bunch of unearned money from me Apartment living for now the cat She made this divorce process 100x worse than it should have gone.

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You made out well. Part of the reason she is being such a B&*#3 about everything is she didn’t get what her friends told her she would get.

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Did you have a pre-nup?

I don't understand anyone who gets married who doesn't.

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Pre-nups only protect so much, assets acquired after marriage is fair game in most states.

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Curious how ppl afford multiple divorces and continue to get married

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A good friend just got engaged to get married for the fifth fricking time. To an exotic dancer who he is trying to help transition out of into a "normal" career. I've only known him for about five years but he has apparently got hit hard financially in two of the divorces. I can't even fathom this thinking but he is a hopeless romantic and a dreamer but I also think he's enamored by her huge tits (I'm kidding. Sort of). It's just insanity. This has trainwreck written all over it but all I can do is be there to help when it ends horribly, which it will. Being afraid to be alone is a fricking curse.

OP, I have nothing to add but wish you the best of luck as you move forward.

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when it ends horribly, which it will.

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yea

you don't have to marry them

Getting married this day and age without a prenup no matter your net worth or assets is preparing to fail. Divorce is ridiculously skewed to favor women even if children are not involved and even more skewed when they are. Its a losing battle for men no matter what.

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or she’s vindictive

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when does that not ever happen?