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Getting financially screwed in divorce

Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:55 pm
Posted by crazyatthecamp
Member since Nov 2006
2098 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:55 pm
Me 49. Her 37.
She files.

There is no cheating or abuse or anything. She is just a different person. And all about the kids (2 under 12). Extreme.

She works the same job as me but less years of experience. Both worked full time the whole marriage.

Both of us have a pension.

I contributed decently to retirement in Roth and 403b and she barely did.

She moved in my first house briefly and we rolled over money from that to the current house.

So in these community property states she gets equity from my first house and my retirement funds in my name and a big chunk of my bigger pension.

She effectively will retire nice and rich in her mid 50s.....while my plans will be delayed at least a few years at the same age. She pulled me back and launched herself ahead. And all the while she has 12 more years to catch up than I do.

I think it's a complete a-hole move.

I also think I am screwed and nothing can stop it.

I should have divorced her years ago and saved some cash and stress but I really valued the family for the kids.

Effectively in these community property states whoever the lesser earner, saver is...has lost leverage from day one in a marriage.

Going to be hard to co parent with this outcome and see her on a regular basis.

Ultimately my fault to some degree....at the same time....this is not justice.

Some wise people on here give me counsel...
Posted by lsuguy84
CO
Member since Feb 2009
19481 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:56 pm to
Did you get the million dollars, baw?
Posted by Adam4848
LA
Member since Apr 2006
18892 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:58 pm to
You fricked a chick at the office? That’s smart
Posted by OldmanBeasley
Charlotte
Member since Jun 2014
9623 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:58 pm to
Did she get fat?
Posted by mahdragonz
Member since Jun 2013
6924 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:58 pm to
Did you have a pre-nup?

I don't understand anyone who gets married who doesn't.
Posted by Furlong the Red
My Castle,TX
Member since Dec 2022
631 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 6:58 pm to
Don't ever get married in Louisiana.

Better yet, don't get married period. It's not worth it anymore, if it even was to begin with.
Posted by Corinthians420
Iowa
Member since Jun 2022
6060 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:00 pm to
quote:

Getting financially screwed in divorce

Posted by ThatMakesSense
Fort Lauderdale
Member since Aug 2015
14778 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:02 pm to
quote:

Me 49. Her 37. She files. There is no cheating or abuse or anything. She is just a different person. And all about the kids (2 under 12). Extreme.


What dem titties look like?
Posted by olemc999
At a blackjack table
Member since Oct 2010
13252 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:04 pm to
A tale as old as time itself.
Posted by Jason9782003
Member since Aug 2007
3546 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:05 pm to
What state do you live in? I'm in LA.


quote:

She moved in my first house briefly and we rolled over money from that to the current house.


I had a similar situation, and I was able to recover the proceeds from the sale of my house that went into the new house we bought together during the marriage. I did owe her half the principal I paid on my house during the marriage. Overall, this saved me a shite ton of money.

quote:

So in these community property states she gets equity from my first house and my retirement funds in my name and a big chunk of my bigger pension.


Get statements for your 401k, Roth, pension (if possible) at the time you got married. The value of those at the time of your marriage is still yours to keep. The entire amount should not be split 50/50.


quote:

Her 37 She files.

Yep, late 30's/early 40's is when they start craving new dick.
This post was edited on 2/22/24 at 7:09 pm
Posted by Dawgfanman
Member since Jun 2015
22142 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:05 pm to
quote:

There is no cheating or abuse or anything. She is just a different person.


This is unlikely, women do not leave without something lined up…
Posted by BigPerm30
Member since Aug 2011
25590 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:06 pm to
Quit your job and go start a cash business. frick that noise.
Posted by L1C4
The Ville
Member since Aug 2017
13131 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:06 pm to
quote:

There is no cheating
you sure about that?
Posted by jfw3535
South of Bunkie
Member since Mar 2008
4625 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:06 pm to
First rodeo, huh?
Posted by Hopeful Doc
Member since Sep 2010
14912 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:07 pm to
Cheaper to keep ‘er.
Posted by Kafka
I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
141371 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:08 pm to
Posted by Kafka
I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
141371 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:10 pm to
quote:

Cheaper to keep ‘er
SHE GOT THE GOLD MINE, HE GOT THE SHAFT
Posted by BigBinBR
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2023
3872 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:10 pm to
quote:

And all about the kids (2 under 12)
quote:

I should have divorced her years ago and saved some cash and stress but I really valued the family for the kids.


If you knew years ago that you wanted to divorce her, then why did you have another kid with her?
Posted by Joehat
New Orleans West
Member since Jun 2011
953 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:11 pm to
Get the better lawyer, NOW.
Posted by KiwiHead
Auckland, NZ
Member since Jul 2014
27140 posts
Posted on 2/22/24 at 7:11 pm to
No chance that you were a dick? She was probably a bitch, but that goes without saying.

Let me guess....fighting about finances and issues pertaining to the kids. Not being an arse but that usually is what lights the fuse absent infidelity. Then you do or say something that is dick probably in response to a financial transaction (expenditure) then she gets unreasonably bitchy about it and then it goes down from there.
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