re: Genuine OT help on a new engagee

Big, expensive modern weddings are IMO the dumbest shite ever.

Dude, Jody is wearing that stuff out, she's probably trying to figure out how to get in hin the wedding.

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trauma drama

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She and I both have a past, as does everyone. We're both flourishing independently in our professional lives. This situation caught me off guard, but I'm reading a lot of positive comments.

Thank you all.

The thing that gets me is that I didn't propose to be engaged indefinitely, we planned on this, we talked about this ahead of time, our families were under the same understanding..

Y'all need to consider having your wedding stateside and honeymooning in Hawaii. A destination wedding adds about a million extra steps to this process.

Planning a wedding is not this stressful, even without a wedding planner. I say this as someone who had a big traditional S. LA Catholic wedding.

Each professional you hire will know what they're doing. The church knows what the ceremony will look like, where the pictures will look best, etc. The florist knows how to...make floral arrangements and deliver them. The band knows how to play music and will have set lists, etc. Hire good people and let them do what they do!

Pick the venue and date 1st. Then she gets the dress. Even the dress will sometimes depend on the date of the wedding. For example, they can't all be made/delivered/altered in 3 months. Then pick music/photographer/flowers/food.

This activity shouldn't be rocking her world like this, so you need to find out what's really going on .

So how long have you been engaged so far? I don’t think you said when y’all got engaged.

Most women, while maybe a little overwhelmed, are excited as hell to be engaged and ready to dive into some sort of planning.

The fact that she is stalling so much really should sound major alarm bells in your head. Like…does she still even want to marry you.

No one is coming to your wedding 7 time zones away. Get over yourself.

You and your bride, “who’s side you are on” we know, sound annoying.

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Any advice??

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let Elvis marry you in Las Vegas

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The thing that gets me is that I didn't propose to be engaged indefinitely, we planned on this, we talked about this ahead of time, our families were under the same understanding..

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Then, perhaps you both should reconsider the destination wedding idea which will require more planning and logistics. If she's overwhelmed at the thought of planning this event such that she can't even get started, then this will be a miserable ride for you both and as many have pointed out, she's not going to reach the goal she wants. Unless you're only having a few family and friends who have committed to the travel and expense, you will be missing folks. I'm not sure how that hasn't been discussed, unless this is really small.

????????