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re: For anyone who has suffered serious trauma.. do you ever get to “normal” again?

Posted on 3/29/22 at 9:48 am to
Posted by MakersMark
Denham Springs
Member since May 2007
572 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 9:48 am to
I don't see "death of a child" on that chart.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124160 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:08 am to
quote:

I don't see "death of a child" on that chart


I think that one breaks the needle. Especially now.
Posted by AlxTgr
Kyre Banorg
Member since Oct 2003
81622 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:12 am to
It got better for me.
Posted by JodyPlauche
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2009
8788 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:17 am to
quote:

Does it ever get better?


Yes...I wrote a book about
Posted by 44tiger
Member since Aug 2013
933 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:50 am to
The Body Keeps the Score

Normal? No

But it can get better with work. This book is great.
Posted by Sidicous
Middle of Nowhere
Member since Aug 2015
17160 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 1:36 pm to
quote:

However, I always try to keep a positive outlook on my life. One, I know as much as I might 'struggle' at times, There are so many people who have it harder than me. Two, I have tried to poke fun at myself and my differences. When I was a kid, I would buzz my hearing aid and told my friends that I could listen to faraway radio stations. They believed me. Three, I never considered myself as handicapped. When I see todays kid whining about about their lives, well, I don't have much respect for them at all. But that's a whole different subject.
This part pertains as much as the rest of the thread combined.

With my chronic pancreatitis causing pretty much monthly ER and a week or so in-patient every month for the last year, I still KNOW there are many in even worse shape than I.

I spent a decade working in a big hospital. Used to go portable x-ray one in particular, a 21 year old male. His entire body, from the top of head to his ankles, fit on 1 chest x-ray plate. Spine twisted, and shaped like a cursive capital letter "S" or the '&' nearly. 21 years old and never walked a single step in his life, not even able to sit upright. Then the terminal cancer patients where the nerves themselves become tumor-like or "infested" with painful tumors.

So no feeling sorry for myself and my conditions. Someone will always be worse off than I as long as THEY draw breath. But I do still occasionally have issues with collars and stuff from where I was robbed and assaulted with a knife to my throat and 1 of the 3 really wanted to kill me, with only 1 of the other 2 willing to take a stand against killing me. Luckily that was the Summer after freshman year of college so I had 3 years+ to desensitize enough for business apparel. (had to change majors and sat out a couple quarters while deciding path toward diploma which really is about the piece of paper that could just as easily read: completed a 4 year program displaying goal orientation and delayed gratification successfully, i.e., employers be advised this guy has patience and determination to see projects through to completion.)
Posted by Who_Dat_Tiger
Member since Nov 2015
17437 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 1:46 pm to
quote:

several people I know have had success with EMDR

Sign me up. My wife and I’s 9 month old daughter just died. Our only child and due to how sick my wife got during her pregnancy, likely our last. Our baby was born premature and got very sick. People said we’d need to talk to someone after she’d pass but my wife and I thought we were strong enough support for each other and doubted it. It’s still relatively fresh as it only happened several weeks ago but I’d say we’re both suffering pretty badly from PTSD. We agree we need to talk to someone and we are looking into it. Been tough to find the motivation to do anything. Does this do anything for that type of trauma? A relative of mine that’s a dr. had brought it up and it was the first time I had ever heard of it.
Posted by ColdTurkey
Where the Buffalo roam...
Member since Nov 2019
7608 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 1:53 pm to
quote:

For anyone who has suffered serious trauma.. do you ever get to “normal” again?
Does it ever get better?


In ways, yes. But the flashbacks will still come back, you’ll still think about it if it’s tied to a specific place or places. I’ve shared my story on here before about my elderly boss being assaulted by his son and the psychological damage the whole deal and his eventual death had on me. It still hurts. You have to try to put it in a place that can’t hurt you. I’ve had a ton of really screwed up shite happen in my life. Both that I’ve witnessed and other things that I’ve had to deal with the turmoil from. Get out in nature. Go alone if you can, and ground yourself. It’s about to be the most beautiful time of the year. Go to the Ozarks. Climb Sugar Loaf Mountain in Heber Springs. Just get it all out in whatever way you have to. I have screamed, cried, let out a blood curdling yell just to get that pain out from within me. You have to learn to heal. You deserve to heal. We all do. Healing is never easy. I don’t know what you’re going through, but you have my prayers.
Posted by bad93ex
Member since Sep 2018
27170 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 1:55 pm to
quote:

Does it ever get better?


No
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124160 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 1:59 pm to
quote:

Get out in nature. Go alone if you can, and ground yourself. It’s about to be the most beautiful time of the year. Go to the Ozarks. Climb Sugar Loaf Mountain in Heber Springs. Just get it all out in whatever way you have to. I have screamed, cried, let out a blood curdling yell just to get that pain out from within me. You have to learn to heal. You deserve to heal. We all do. Healing is never easy.


This is excellent advice. Go on a vision quest and just accept what comes and what lessons you learn.
Posted by ColdTurkey
Where the Buffalo roam...
Member since Nov 2019
7608 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:04 pm to
quote:

This is excellent advice. Go on a vision quest and just accept what comes and what lessons you learn.


Yup. That’s what I did and had a ton of success. Google pics of Bridal Veil Falls, Heber Springs, Arkansas and Collins Creek along with Sugar Loaf Mountain. The first day I drove up their with my buddies who had just gotten married and unknowingly had their first baby girl on the way, we climbed sugar loaf mt, climbed all the rock trails and jumped off the bluffs at Greer’s Ferry lake. It was during a time in my life that I was healing, which is what it sounds like OP needs to do. I highly recommend it. The history behind the town is EXTREMELY cool too!
Posted by FreeState
Member since Jun 2012
3171 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:14 pm to
I do well 99.9% of the time but on very rare occasions I can still see the flash of gunfire. Honestly. For 30+ years I try and be aware of my entire surroundings even when I walk out of the house at midnight to take a piss in the yard.

For about 30 seconds I feel that it's real until I come to my senses.

On the other hand, I remember my dad (USMC WWII who fought on several islands) talking shite in his sleep. He would never talk about the war/trauma otherwise. Ended up late in life an alcoholic after never having drank our entire childhood and into college. He finally broke, no doubt due to shite he experienced in war.

This post was edited on 3/29/22 at 3:17 pm
Posted by madamsquirrel
The Snarlington Estate
Member since Jul 2009
48569 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:24 pm to
A wise friend once told me a wound hurts and a scar doesn't. You can always point to the scar and tell the story of what happened but it no longer causes acute pain. That helped me feel like I was "better or normal" after a traumatic event in my life.
This post was edited on 3/29/22 at 3:25 pm
Posted by Bayou
CenLA
Member since Feb 2005
36808 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:32 pm to
8 years ago I lost the last blood relative I know of on this planet. I can not begin to describe this emotion. I live with it every day. Life constantly reminds me about it. Staying busy seems to be the remedy. This will never change.
Posted by shinerfan
Duckworld(Earth-616)
Member since Sep 2009
22288 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:35 pm to
I usually just find some new trauma to subject myself to. Maybe it's not for everyone but it works for me.
Posted by LSUandAU
Key West, FL & Malibu (L.A.), CA
Member since Apr 2009
4948 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:40 pm to
This thread is reinforcing why we should be kind. You never know what someone has been through.

Life comes fast and knocks everybody down. The willpower of people to rise each time they're down is inspiring.
Posted by jchamil
Member since Nov 2009
16484 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:41 pm to
quote:

Sign me up. My wife and I’s 9 month old daughter just died. Our only child and due to how sick my wife got during her pregnancy,


I'm so sorry to see this about your sweet little girl. I was following your updates on her on the Money Board.

quote:

likely our last


I hope this is not the case for you and your wife. I can't imagine what she (and you) are going through.
Posted by Mr Clean
New Iberia
Member since Aug 2006
49200 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:42 pm to
Yes, it gets better

Abstinence from drugs & alcohol helps
Posted by MakersMark
Denham Springs
Member since May 2007
572 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 3:58 pm to
quote:

My wife and I’s 9 month old daughter just died. Our only child and due to how sick my wife got during her pregnancy, likely our last. Our baby was born premature and got very sick. People said we’d need to talk to someone after she’d pass but my wife and I thought we were strong enough support for each other and doubted it. It’s still relatively fresh as it only happened several weeks ago but I’d say we’re both suffering pretty badly from PTSD. We agree we need to talk to someone and we are looking into it. Been tough to find the motivation to do anything. Does this do anything for that type of trauma? A relative of mine that’s a dr. had brought it up and it was the first time I had ever heard of it.


I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I lost 2 children in 2021. A 20 year old son to cancer and a 26 year old daughter to a drug overdose. It will be one year since they passed in June.
I don't think you ever get over it or even past it. There are plenty of days that it takes everything that I have to get out of bed. Luckily I am blessed with 2 other children, a granddaughter, an awesome family and group of friends.
For anyone that has suffered a severe traumatic event I believe you just have to live your life day to day. Give yourself things to look forward to and stay busy. Being alone with your thoughts and not keeping your mind occupied is really rough.
Posted by DmitriKaramazov
Member since Nov 2015
4469 posts
Posted on 3/29/22 at 4:01 pm to
quote:


I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I lost 2 children in 2021. A 20 year old son to cancer and a 26 year old daughter to a drug overdose. It will be one year since they passed in June.


I do not have sufficient words to express my sympathy. I'm sorry.
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