- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: For anyone who has suffered serious trauma.. do you ever get to “normal” again?
Posted on 3/29/22 at 4:02 pm to MakersMark
Posted on 3/29/22 at 4:02 pm to MakersMark
Helping others and doing for others is great therapy
0
Posted on 3/29/22 at 4:25 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
A wise friend once told me a wound hurts and a scar doesn't.
I LOVE that, definitely gonna write on that topic later.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 8:04 pm to fr33manator
All you guys are the best. This is why I come to this place.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 8:56 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
Madamsquirrel
Thank you for this
Wounds Hurt, Scars Don’t
The wound is fresh laid open,
It’s pumping panicked red,
The agony surrounds you,
You can see what’s all been bled,
Your mind awash with madness,
There’s crimson on the dirt,
The pain, persistent, pounding,
The truth is that, wounds hurt,
And so there’s pushing pressure,
To try and stop the bleeding,
And action in the moment,
Is what wounds are sorely needing,
The sting is sharp and painful,
It hurts, lord, like a bitch,
And once the gushing stops,
Then comes the tugging of the stitch,
You wrap it in a bandage,
And hide it from the air,
Even if you don’t look at it,
It reminds you that it’s there,
It makes you stiff and stalted,
And if it’s been rejected,
The poison spreads and festers,
And with rot the wound’s infected,
Like a grudge it’s vile corruption,
If it is not kept clean,
For the pain will only worsen,
And take more than wound had been,
But sans contamination,
The ache, with time, subsides,
And once the gauze comes off,
On skin, a savage scar now rides,
It’s twisted and it’s ugly,
The stitches mark its path,
And on the skin once lovely,
Unbesmirched, now show its wrath,
Though some may try to hide it,
For reminding them of pain,
The facts of life are simple,
Wound is gone, now scars remain,
Some disguise it with makeup,
Some cover it with cloth,
But the scars still tell the story,
Every time the clothes come off,
So I don’t try to hide them,
To Their truth I won’t connive,
For though they might be ugly,
Those scars mean that I survived,
They mean I suffered through it,
Went through fire and returned,
Each scar a testament,
To a lesson that I’ve learned,
Each winding slash reminding,
Of the agonizing ache,
Those rough welts, where I was finding,
Where I bowed, but didn’t break,
And each one, it bears a story,
Full of suffering, it’s true,
Wounds are only temporary,
The Scars say that I made it through
This post was edited on 3/29/22 at 9:05 pm
Posted on 3/29/22 at 9:07 pm to TDcline
While trite, it is true that time heals all wounds.
The amount of time necessary varies.
The amount of time necessary varies.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 9:39 pm to fr33manator
That is great fr33. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:00 pm to TDcline
No, I’m all fricked up.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:13 pm to MakersMark
quote:
I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I lost 2 children in 2021. A 20 year old son to cancer and a 26 year old daughter to a drug overdose. It will be one year since they passed in June.
I don't think you ever get over it or even past it.
That’s so tough. I know the feeling and I’m very sorry to hear that. It’s so much harder when you’ve had that time to cherish with them then they’re gone. I can’t imagine a day will go by for the rest of my life that I don’t think of her, so I really hope what I consider PTSD now is replaced eventually with only fond memories. I’m interested in what I’ve heard of EMDR for that reason.
I’m glad to hear you have other children though. Everyone grieves differently but not having another child to focus that love and attention on makes it seem so much harder to me. Hopefully we’re able to have another baby one day. Our little girl will never be forgotten and she has a legacy in a childrens foundation we’ve set up in her name, but I need somewhere else to focus that attention on that we had dedicated to her. She was sick and my wife and I spent nearly everyday in the NICU for about 8 months before she finally got to come home. Felt like a miracle at the time. She’ll always be so special to us but that void of not having someone to care for now is what makes it so depressing.
Like some suggested I did go to my parents vacation home in the mountains a few weeks after she passed and did some solo hikes in the snow. It truly helped at the time but the pain returned when we came back home.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:13 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
A wise friend once told me a wound hurts and a scar doesn't.
Odd as it may sound, so much time has passed and so much “scar” has built up for me, that I miss the the acute pain.
It’s difficult to explain, but it’s a sadness of sorts regarding how long it’s been since I was able to enjoy being with this person, combined with a feeling of guilt, as if the diminished pain means I’m not as loyal as I should be or I didn’t/don’t love that person as much as I should have.
Im no frickin wordsmith. Wish I could write as eloquently as fr33, bc I’m butchering the sentiment I’m trying to convey.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:23 pm to Who_Dat_Tiger
quote:
Who_Dat_Tiger
My heart goes out to you and your wife, man.
quote:
It truly helped at the time but the pain returned when we came back home.
IMhO and in my experience, you have to let it run its course.
But, at the same time, don’t let it drown you.
Distractions are fine/helpful when you need some reprieve, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to bury it.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:31 pm to CrimsonTideMD
quote:
It’s difficult to explain, but it’s a sadness of sorts regarding how long it’s been since I was able to enjoy being with this person, combined with a feeling of guilt, as if the diminished pain means I’m not as loyal as I should be or I didn’t/don’t love that person as much as I should have.
I understand exactly what you are trying to say.
It made nine years this ides of march since my brother died.
And for the first time, I didn’t cry. I didn’t break down.
I almost forgot. And for a moment, when I realized, I felt horrible for it. Like I was letting a part of that memory that kept him alive in me die.
But that isn’t true. It’s a day. It’s a month.
I can get past tracks without remembering it now. It doesn’t mean I’m forgetting him. I still miss him every day.
But the scar has healed to the point where I don’t feel the pain like I once did. The pain won’t bring him back.
But when I laugh about some crazy stuff we did as kids. When I share a memory, when I miss him…I don’t need the pain to bring him back. Because he’s a part of me. He’s part of my scars now. The wound isn’t bleeding anymore.
I have learned and grown. I’m that gnarled, whorled tree. The axe wounds that once bit into me and hewed at me and threatened to fell me…those have grown over now. The years have done what they will.
I will always bear the marks of those blades…BUT THEY DID NOT CUT ME DOWN.
Inside me is a burled tapestry of anguish, and joy, and pain, and gladness. I am a tree. I’m still growing.
And perhaps when the storms of life finally topple me, some skilled woodworker can create something beautiful of the trunk I’ve left behind.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 10:39 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
A wise friend once told me a wound hurts and a scar doesn't. You can always point to the scar and tell the story of what happened but it no longer causes acute pain. That helped me feel like I was "better or normal" after a traumatic event in my life.
Great words.
The loss of my sister was my traumatic event. The wound has healed but the scar is still there. But I don't want the scar to go away.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:02 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Like I was letting a part of that memory that kept him alive in me die.
Yes! You nailed it.
That’s definitely a huge part of it.
Thank you Fr33.
In my mind, I know that everything else you’ve said is true, too. But try telling that to my heart.
Even your words won’t convince it.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:10 pm to MakersMark
quote:
I lost 2 children in 2021. A 20 year old son to cancer and a 26 year old daughter to a drug overdose. It will be one year since they passed in June.
Prayers for your brother.
Posted on 3/29/22 at 11:12 pm to CrimsonTideMD
quote:
In my mind, I know that everything else you’ve said is true, too. But try telling that to my heart.
Even your words won’t convince it.
Hell, I wrote it and I’m still not convinced, even though I know it’s true.
Posted on 3/30/22 at 6:43 am to HoustonChick86
quote:
But I don't want the scar to go away.
In the end, all we have are the scars and the memories
Posted on 4/6/22 at 10:41 am to TDcline
I didn’t know you were from Evangeline Parish! I am too. If there’s anyway I can help drop a line!!
Posted on 4/6/22 at 11:33 am to TDcline
No. You are changed forever but you will survive.
Page 4 of 4
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News