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re: Do yall baws hit yalls kids?

Posted on 3/8/17 at 10:23 pm to
Posted by PrivatePublic
Member since Nov 2012
17848 posts
Posted on 3/8/17 at 10:23 pm to
quote:

My philosophy is that if I have to hit you to get my point across then I must be shitty at getting my point across.


Meh. You're dealing with kids, not grown ups. They don't reason or logic. Sometimes you have to get a complex point across by simple methods, and a whack on the backside is as simple as it gets.

My final point in this debate: every other animal in the world has no problem whacking their offspring if they step out of line.

But we know better? Ha.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 3/8/17 at 10:40 pm to
quote:



But we know better? Ha


I kinda think humans are able to process complex ideas a little more than other animals.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 3/8/17 at 10:45 pm to
quote:


Same here. Spanked for a couple of years with my oldest before deciding it was ineffective. And strangely enough, my oldest turned out to be my wild child


It seems the wild child is more resistant to spanking. I was one. It didn't take my parents long to figure out spanking wasn't a deterrent unless the pushed the limits of abuse. Taking activities away was far more effective because I could take a whipping.
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
95092 posts
Posted on 3/8/17 at 10:46 pm to
quote:

Spanked my 6 year old once. Spank my 3 year old once a week. Every kid is different.

Same here. My 7 year old is my girl. 4 year old is my boy
Posted by KyleOrtonsMustache
Krystal Baller
Member since Jan 2008
5192 posts
Posted on 3/8/17 at 11:22 pm to
quote:

Meh. You're dealing with kids, not grown ups. They don't reason or logic.


Kids as early as 3 can show signs of using reason. This is why discipline is effective for correcting behavior or positive reinforcement is effective in promoting good behavior. Cause and effect.

The best thing about reasoning is that it can be developed like any skill. Skills are best learned by doing. If your kid says all humans can't be animals because we don't have four legs, then you can show him why we are animals by using language and examples that are appropriate for his age. You can do it by pointing out reasoning used by people in the books he reads or you read to him. The same for TV shows. He will also model reasoning you use. But the best is to provide plenty of opportunities to practice reasoning for himself.

Now, back to cause and effect. My kids know there is punishment for wrongdoings (thats where logic comes in). There is never an occasion where if they break the rules its not addressed. Ever. Not once. In order for logic to work there has to be reasoning within the set parameters of rules. Like, if I don't clean my room when dad says to clean it, then I will pay a price (usually scrubbing the inside of the garbage can, or weeding the flowers, privileges taken away or even spanking). Once that order is established….that there is a negative effect for rule breaking and a positive effect for good actions (not a reward or praise but the lack of punishment) then it's pretty easy. But the key is allowing them the freedom to choose which course they want to take and being willing to back up their negative choices with punishment every time and their positive choices every time.

Once they understand the parameters it's easy as long as you're willing to punish them when they do wrong. Most people will let things slide sometimes and create an environment where the kid will feel like "Maybe I'll get away with it". I feel like that's the main problem in parenting. Being inconsistent. If kids learn early on that no matter what there will be a price to pay then it rarely (like once a year at my house) escalates to the point of handing out a spanking.

But, to each his own. I'm just stating what works for my kids. If you have to spank your kids regularly then go ahead. I just think there is more than one way to skin a cat.
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
41694 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 12:55 am to
I got spanked, didn't ever deter an action.

My boys ten and we spanked him only for disrespect to us...hasn't happened in a few years. He knows what we say isn't for some parlor trick, we love him and want to mold him to be the best he can be...we bicker, but usually a stern look earns us the respect that makes the wheels turn again in our household. His mom usually gives the look. I coach him on how to show he means it.

Get back to me when he's 14.
Posted by rantfan
new iberia la
Member since Nov 2012
14110 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 1:54 am to
Never spanked my girl she's 10
12 year old boy whipped maybe twice
My 8 year old boy gets a whipping a week and ironically him and I have the best father son relationship. Some kids just need that extra discipline.
This post was edited on 3/9/17 at 1:56 am
Posted by ManBearTiger
BRLA
Member since Jun 2007
22670 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 2:14 am to
quote:

Spanking is definitely the most effective form of punishment in my household. You can't over do it though, or it will become less effective.


So true, I'll never forget me last spanking- it happened and then my whole family ended laughing because it had been overdone so much that my laughter was overpowering my fake crying
Posted by Popths
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2016
4547 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 3:21 am to
You can always do the counting method. 1,2 but if you don't do shite on 3, you're screwed. I always laughed at parents who tried that method. Establish yourself with a swift slap across the legs. Once established that you will do it again, all you will need is a stern look after that.
Posted by gizmothepug
Louisiana
Member since Apr 2015
8851 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 4:57 am to
Not anymore, I lost my temper with my oldest several years ago and realized that there had to be a better way.
Posted by shawnlsu
Member since Nov 2011
23682 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:17 am to
I spank, not to hurt, but to get attention and teach consequences. My 3 year old DGAF about time out.
ETA: I spanked her yesterday (more like a hard pat) when we got home for telling her teacher "No" after being told to do something. She got her spanking and sat still while I explained to her what she did and how she has to take responsibility for her actions. After that she crawled in my arms and laid on the couch and loved on me. IMO, if you spank and explain the situation in a way they can understand it, it is more effective.
This post was edited on 3/9/17 at 7:25 am
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
30430 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:31 am to
Nope, never have.

My son and I are like best friends which is probably wrong but WTF you gonna do.

Every kid I know who's father beat him is either mentally screwed up or not close to the father.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86692 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:37 am to
My daughter is 4 and I have never spanked her.

I'm not 100% against spanking, but I do think it is mostly lazy parenting.

The threat and act of taking a toy away (and then having to earn it back) is the most effective way we have found in disciplining my daughter.
Posted by bayoudude
Member since Dec 2007
25928 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:41 am to
I will definitely pass a slap when they need an attitude adjustment or some extra motivation
Posted by Blue Velvet
Apple butter toast is nice
Member since Nov 2009
20112 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:43 am to
I don't spank my children because I'm not lazy.
Posted by shawnlsu
Member since Nov 2011
23682 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:43 am to
quote:

Every kid I know who's father beat him is either mentally screwed up or not close to the father.


My step father spanked me with a belt on the regular (I definitely deserved it). He is the best man I have ever known or will ever know. I am a much better person for having him raise me than if he had not been there.
Posted by Ace Midnight
Between sanity and madness
Member since Dec 2006
96240 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:46 am to
quote:

I've never spanked my kids, but it seems as time out is not cutting it anymore. My boy is 3.


I personally don't think spanking is much good before 2 or 2 1/2 - at the earliest. And even then a swat on the butt is usually sufficient. You don't want to spank just to hit the child - it becomes a reinforcement for the threat - particularly disrespect and safety issues. And, at some point, you get diminishing returns with a particularly rebellious child and have to get creative anyway. By 10 or so, spanking will have little force and you'll have to take things away, restrict liberty - add chores, etc., to really have value.
Posted by Ace Midnight
Between sanity and madness
Member since Dec 2006
96240 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:48 am to
quote:

She got her spanking and sat still while I explained to her what she did and how she has to take responsibility for her actions.


Yeah - this is the effective point of spanking - not to injure the child, but just to get their 100% full attention to deliver the teaching point - actions have consequences and just the whole right/wrong things.

Spanking does not equal "beating."
Posted by chellelsu
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2009
157 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 7:54 am to
19 months. He gets popped when bad
Posted by amo3822
Member since Sep 2015
335 posts
Posted on 3/9/17 at 8:01 am to
my son is two. He's had his little curls pulled long ago and hand slapped firm many times.... about old enough to bust that butt now
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