Started By
Message

re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?

Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:59 am to
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:59 am to
quote:

I can imagine being at home and watching TV with my child


can you though?

because it isn't as relaxing and simple as it sounds all the time
Posted by SaintBrees
Member since Oct 2015
547 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:00 am to
quote:

just that those things that you do give up, probably won't really matter anymore


That is probably true for many parents, but not necessarily all.

quote:

Parenthood is just not what I expected it to be. I mean people told me that you have to make sacrifices when you become a parent but because I had never really made any sacrifices before having her, I had no idea what that might entail or feel like. I also thought I wouldn't mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child but I have found that also to be untrue. I do mind missing out on the partying and holidays, and therefore I try to cram as much as that in as I can still, which makes my quality time with my child few and far between.

Yes I have her 5 nights a week, I feed her, bathe her, teach her, discipline her, put her to bed but I mean proper quality time I feel she misses out on because sometimes I have no desire as I'd rather be elsewhere.

I feel constantly guilty because I'm not putting my all in to be the best Mom I could be, how I imagined myself to be and I feel she is missing out. Before I had her I always wanted 3 children, now 1 is enough for me, I don't want anymore.

Like I said I wouldn't use the word regret but if I could have taken a glimpse into what parenthood really, really is like before I fell pregnant, I would have been a lot more careful. People can tell you but nothing can really prepare you for what it is really like.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
86482 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:00 am to
You seem like a solid guy.A lot like me twenty years ago, probably. All I'm saying is bookmark the thread, and get back to us five years after your wedding date. Romantic love is solid and worthwhile. But parenthood with your romantic love is on an altogether different level.Family-wise, laying down the perfect bunt to move the runner to second base isn't the same as knocking it out of the park.
Posted by When in Rome
Telegraph Road
Member since Jan 2011
36241 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:00 am to
quote:

Maybe, but I don't know how much joy I would receive from that. I know how much joy I experienced hiking and skiing through the Swiss Alps. And how much joy I experienced going to Bora Bora and hanging out in Dubai for a week. And I did those things with someone I love and am going to marry. We enjoyed those things together. Those are things that would be lost in our relationship if we had kids.
Maybe for a little while, but I can tell you that I grew up in a family that placed priority on travel, and once we were a certain age we could travel with our parents to fun locations. Once we graduated, my parents picked it back up and travel all of the time now. There's a short period in which you have young kids and your most likely vacations are domestic (but still fun!). Once they can travel with you, why not bring them to those locations on your bucket list? After they leave high school, you are free to spend as much time in Dubai as you'd like! Just food for thought.

PS: I'm 24 and have been to 5 continents, and almost 30 countries. A good portion of that travel was with my family. If you place priority on travel/experiences instead of material items, you can accomplish this with the income you say you and your wife have combined.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 11:03 am
Posted by Snipe
Member since Nov 2015
17154 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:00 am to
quote:

Come on bro


Ummm no we're not.

quote:

We're both very responsible.


Still a legit question.

quote:

some kind of creampie fetish film


? Never mind!
Posted by uway
Member since Sep 2004
33109 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:02 am to
quote:

Exactly. The first trip I took with my fiance was to Cancun and we were hammered the whole time and had sex the whole time. I know it sounds immature but there's something fun and exciting about traveling and going places and doing adult things, and not having to worry if little johnny wandered off and is about to drown.


Well I guess you can base your life around your beliefs about what is most "fun and exciting" and see how that works out for you. That's an ingenious idea.
You should coin a term for it, like "hedonism" or something.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:02 am to
quote:

but not necessarily all.


hence why I said "probably"

plenty of people are not cut out for parenthood

I'm not trying to tell you to have kids

I'm just offering the other perspective
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:02 am to
Wow, that's some hardcore honesty. What's that a quote from?
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 11:04 am
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122525 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:04 am to
quote:

Come on, don't say that.


I wasn't serious..

And if they did wish that, I don't care either way...
Posted by Winkface
Member since Jul 2010
34377 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:08 am to
quote:

their fat, worn-down, depressed parents
this is the biggest bring thing that scares me about having kids

Most parents are fat depressing slobs
I've decided our modern society has contributed to this. In my opinion, kids weren't meant to be raised by just their two parents. Having the help of other family members is crucial. It's good for the kids and it's good for the parents. Since our society considers it the norm to move away from home, it makes it very tough on families. We also are not set up in a way to help mothers with newborns how other cultures are or how it was in the past. Especially since most families need two parents working. Of course it can be done but it is hard.

We currently have the opportunity to move to another city for work and the idea of it seems really awesome but not having family nearby to help with kids will probably sway the decision.
Posted by When in Rome
Telegraph Road
Member since Jan 2011
36241 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:10 am to
quote:

I've decided our modern society has contributed to this. In my opinion, kids weren't meant to be raised by just their two parents. Having the help of other family members is crucial. It's good for the kids and it's good for the parents. Since our society considers it the norm to move away from home, it makes it very tough on families. We also are not set up in a way to help mothers with newborns how other cultures are or how it was in the past. Especially since most families need two parents working. Of course it can be done but it is hard.
Totally agree with this.
Posted by CidCock
Member since Sep 2007
Member since Feb 2011
8701 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:14 am to
quote:

3) I'd like to enjoy the finer things in life


Not reading whole thread, but I can comment on this.

We waited until 30 to have kids (5 years of marriage) and enjoyed traveling and spending money more freely for a few years. But nothing comes close to have the joy of having a child.

Having children is the finer things is life, for my money.
Posted by Fight4LSU
Kenner
Member since Jul 2005
10074 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:16 am to
Parenthood is not for everyone as evident by the daily stories we see about shitty parents. It takes a lot of patience to raise kids properly and it just doesn't come natural to everyone.

As for this, I think I know what you mean by it, but IMO there's nothing finer in life to enjoy than watching your own kids growing up. I wouldn't trade the experience of raising my kids for anything in this world.

quote:

3) I'd like to enjoy the finer things in life
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
Member since May 2012
61489 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:19 am to
I agree with all of that. Kids should be around cousins, aunts & uncles, grandparents, etc., ideally.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
86482 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:20 am to
quote:

I can't image hanging out in a cafe in Lugano for 3 hours and getting drunk with my wife and having drunk conversations with groups of people from around Europe... with my child.


Then you are suffering from a lack of imagination. I took my 15 year old to London a few years ago, stayed at The Langham and loved every minute of it. I had drinks in the hotel Lobby and with her by my side in pubs and had a great time. Although I enjoyed coffee and a morning at the British Museum and a tour of the Wallace Collection (her thing not mine) even more. Which brings me to another obvious point. Wait until your kids become your teacher. That's awesome.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
72436 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:22 am to
Never.

Im sure like most I sometimes wish bedtime would get here quicker, but not for a second could I imagine life without them.

quote:

Having children is the finer things is life, for my money.



Absolutely. My wife and I have traveled to the other side of the world but everything pales in comparison to hearing I love you daddy, or when they look up at you and smile huge.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 11:29 am
Posted by ZappBrannigan
Member since Jun 2015
7692 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:27 am to


Long pig they called it. Never acquired a taste for it...

Worst comes to worst have a BBQ.
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34932 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:37 am to
Just ignore him. He is a troll, and one of the worst ones on the site
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:43 am to
quote:

Just ignore him. He is a troll, and one of the worst ones on the site


Lucas may be a troll but he's a fantastic troll.
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34932 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:46 am to
That's the first thing you've said in this thread that I completely disagree with

I don't like him or his schtick
Jump to page
Page First 6 7 8 9 10 ... 12
Jump to page
first pageprev pagePage 8 of 12Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram