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re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?

Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:20 pm to
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:20 pm to
quote:

The fun times are incredibly fun. But the not fun times are incredibly not. Each probably gets a little less extreme the older they get.


I can imagine.

I think watching several of our friends have kids that had disabilities really kill the last amount of interest in it. That looks really hard.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:23 pm to
quote:

Being a grandfather


Oh that was the other thing thrown in our faces when we were on the "no kids" wagon
"But what about grandkids? You'll never have them if you don't have children"


So basically they were saying I should only choose to have kids so I can have grandkids later on(which sounds immature and selfish). Yet calling me selfish and immature for not wanting kids Made no sense.
Posted by SaintBrees
Member since Oct 2015
547 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:26 pm to
I would rather regret not having kids than regret having them.

Also, you can't speak for other people. It isn't hard to Google around and find folks in their retirement years who still don't regret not having kids.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:28 pm to
quote:

I think watching several of our friends have kids that had disabilities


As a peds nurse this TERRIFIES me the most tbh. I've cared for several severely handicapped children at work and I just don't know how the parents do it. Most of those parents are basically angels on earth imo, the amount of patience and love they display for those children. On the flip side....I see other parents of similar children that will dump them in the hospital any chance they get because they are tired of the burden placed on them. They are the ones that will only come to the hospital the day the child is admitted....and then the day they are discharged home.
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:29 pm to
quote:


So basically they were saying I should only choose to have kids so I can have grandkids later on(which sounds immature and selfish). Yet calling me selfish and immature for not wanting kids Made no sense.

the reasons that parents give for wanting to have kid all suck

1. what about the continuation of your genes?
Errr, what makes you think your genes are worth it

2. who will take care of you when you are old
My grandmother said this to me, and I turned to my mother and said, did you know that gma had you just so you would take care of her?

3. You won't know unless you try
Well you will never know you didn't want a neck tattoo until you got one. So why don't you get a neck tattoo.
Posted by wfallstiger
Wichita Falls, Texas
Member since Jun 2006
16066 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:30 pm to
Never thought much about being a grand parent until it happened....is a cool gig
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:31 pm to
quote:

As a peds nurse this TERRIFIES me the most tbh. I've cared for several severely handicapped children at work and I just don't know how the parents do it. Most of those parents are basically angels on earth imo, the amount of patience and love they display for those children.


I feel terrible this about this, but I can hardly be in teh same room as my autistic nephew.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:55 pm to
quote:

the reasons that parents give for wanting to have kid all suck


I agree, all of those kinda suck

the best reason is that kids provide more joy than anything else in this world

or at least that was my reason

but, of course, you don't really know that until you have one, so
Posted by 3nOut
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Jan 2013
32717 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 1:00 pm to
I can't imagine a life where I could be happy without my kids.

But I also can imagine a life where I'm happy I choked out the little bastards for not putting something up that I asked them to an hour and three times ago.
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:02 pm to
quote:

the best reason is that kids provide more joy than anything else in this world


This reason is still lacking. You are having children to entertain yourself.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:06 pm to
quote:

You are having children to entertain yourself.


eh...that is a bit of a stretch

we seek things that give us some type of value, whether it be relationships, kids, experiences, etc

some things provide more value, and I, and probably the majority of parents, believe kids provide incredible value in life

if you want to equate value with entertainment...I'm not going to argue with you, I'll just call you a bit cynical

This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:07 pm
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:08 pm to
quote:

if you want to equate value with entertainment...I'm not going to argue with you, I'll just call you a bit cynical


well you didn't say value, you said joy.

And I am more than a bit cynical. I think we have kids b.c we are biologically programmed to.
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:12 pm to
quote:

You are having children to entertain yourself.


And cut grass. You're gonna feel like an a-hole in twelve years cutting your own grass while the rest of us are day drinking and watching Hulu.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:13 pm to
quote:

well you didn't say value, you said joy.


joy, happiness, etc...all values in life, no?

quote:

I think we have kids b.c we are biologically programmed to.


oh absolutely

I haven't said it in this thread because it generally pisses people off (especially women), but I do believe that if someone truly doesn't want to have kids, they have some sort of mental defect
Posted by crispyUGA
Upstate SC
Member since Feb 2011
16272 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:15 pm to
My wife and I are lucky that we've always been on the same page about not wanting kids. I don't fault anyone for wanting kids (except for the "I make $10/hr and want 8 kids!" people), but it's not something I want for myself. I have 6 nieces and nephews and 2 godchildren whom I love very much, but it's really, really awesome to hand them back to their parents when it's time to go home.

Besides, if we get to be into our mid-40's and decide we really missed out, then we can always adopt.

Edit: When I was younger I always just assumed that I would have kids because it's just what people do. As I got older and some friends started to have kids I really sat down and analyzed my stance on it and, while I think I could be a good parent if I had to be, I don't WANT to be a parent. I like the personal and financial freedom that a lot of my friends don't have; my wife and I travel a LOT more than most of friends with small children. I still think that is a biological urge to procreate, but it's not what I want when I think through things logically.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:23 pm
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:18 pm to
quote:

I haven't said it in this thread because it generally pisses people off (especially women), but I do believe that if someone truly doesn't want to have kids, they have some sort of mental defect


Of they just let reason rule their lives. Cause, i am biologically programmed to frick as many women as possible but I manage to not do that. This is hailed as a virtue, while not having kids is viewed as being selfish.

shite is fricked up if you ask me.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86677 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:27 pm to
quote:

Of they just let reason rule their lives. Cause, i am biologically programmed to frick as many women as possible but I manage to not do that.


true, but I also think there had been a deep evolution in the societal family unit

early man it was a necessity to breed as many different women as possible to ensure offspring, nowadays strong family units are the best way to ensure healthy and productive offspring

quote:

This is hailed as a virtue, while not having kids is viewed as being selfish.


Not having kids can be viewed as selfish, but so can having kids. Just look at some of the reasons you listed earlier, those were completely selfish reasons.

quote:

shite is fricked up if you ask me.


such is life
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:28 pm
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34932 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:28 pm to
This thread still going??


Has everyone agreed that kids are indeed the answer to all your problems? Did TD create another baby boom??
Posted by GeauxLSUGRL
Member since Nov 2014
769 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:31 pm to
I'm sorry for your loss. I bet you're a great father though.
I'm at the turning point in my life where I might have to have a hysterectomy at only 32 and all I want is a child with my partner. But if I carry, if even to term, it could be a life or death situation for me. I'd do anything to have child. But not die.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:35 pm to
I'm sorry you are having to go through that. I know it must also be tough when people ask if you have kids or if yall are gonna have kids and why not?


Some people are just curious, but don't always know how those innocent questions can really wound someone.

Or they say "well you can always just adopt". As if it is that simple of a solution. Never mind the $$$$$ it costs to adopt and the emotional roller coaster it forces a couple to go through....and they could end up out in serious debt with no child to show for it.
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