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re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:20 pm to GRTiger
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:20 pm to GRTiger
quote:
The fun times are incredibly fun. But the not fun times are incredibly not. Each probably gets a little less extreme the older they get.
I can imagine.
I think watching several of our friends have kids that had disabilities really kill the last amount of interest in it. That looks really hard.
1
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:23 pm to wfallstiger
quote:
Being a grandfather
Oh that was the other thing thrown in our faces when we were on the "no kids" wagon
"But what about grandkids? You'll never have them if you don't have children"
So basically they were saying I should only choose to have kids so I can have grandkids later on(which sounds immature and selfish). Yet calling me selfish and immature for not wanting kids
Made no sense.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:26 pm to Bow08tie
I would rather regret not having kids than regret having them.
Also, you can't speak for other people. It isn't hard to Google around and find folks in their retirement years who still don't regret not having kids.
Also, you can't speak for other people. It isn't hard to Google around and find folks in their retirement years who still don't regret not having kids.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:28 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
I think watching several of our friends have kids that had disabilities
As a peds nurse this TERRIFIES me the most tbh. I've cared for several severely handicapped children at work and I just don't know how the parents do it. Most of those parents are basically angels on earth imo, the amount of patience and love they display for those children. On the flip side....I see other parents of similar children that will dump them in the hospital any chance they get because they are tired of the burden placed on them. They are the ones that will only come to the hospital the day the child is admitted....and then the day they are discharged home.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:29 pm to lsunurse
quote:
So basically they were saying I should only choose to have kids so I can have grandkids later on(which sounds immature and selfish). Yet calling me selfish and immature for not wanting kids Made no sense.
the reasons that parents give for wanting to have kid all suck
1. what about the continuation of your genes?
Errr, what makes you think your genes are worth it
2. who will take care of you when you are old
My grandmother said this to me, and I turned to my mother and said, did you know that gma had you just so you would take care of her?
3. You won't know unless you try
Well you will never know you didn't want a neck tattoo until you got one. So why don't you get a neck tattoo.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:30 pm to lsunurse
Never thought much about being a grand parent until it happened....is a cool gig
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:31 pm to lsunurse
quote:
As a peds nurse this TERRIFIES me the most tbh. I've cared for several severely handicapped children at work and I just don't know how the parents do it. Most of those parents are basically angels on earth imo, the amount of patience and love they display for those children.
I feel terrible this about this, but I can hardly be in teh same room as my autistic nephew.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:55 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
the reasons that parents give for wanting to have kid all suck
I agree, all of those kinda suck
the best reason is that kids provide more joy than anything else in this world
or at least that was my reason
but, of course, you don't really know that until you have one, so
Posted on 1/4/17 at 1:00 pm to Pecker
I can't imagine a life where I could be happy without my kids.
But I also can imagine a life where I'm happy I choked out the little bastards for not putting something up that I asked them to an hour and three times ago.
But I also can imagine a life where I'm happy I choked out the little bastards for not putting something up that I asked them to an hour and three times ago.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:02 pm to Salmon
quote:
the best reason is that kids provide more joy than anything else in this world
This reason is still lacking. You are having children to entertain yourself.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:06 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
You are having children to entertain yourself.
eh...that is a bit of a stretch
we seek things that give us some type of value, whether it be relationships, kids, experiences, etc
some things provide more value, and I, and probably the majority of parents, believe kids provide incredible value in life
if you want to equate value with entertainment...I'm not going to argue with you, I'll just call you a bit cynical
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:07 pm
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:08 pm to Salmon
quote:
if you want to equate value with entertainment...I'm not going to argue with you, I'll just call you a bit cynical
well you didn't say value, you said joy.
And I am more than a bit cynical. I think we have kids b.c we are biologically programmed to.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:12 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
You are having children to entertain yourself.
And cut grass. You're gonna feel like an a-hole in twelve years cutting your own grass while the rest of us are day drinking and watching Hulu.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:13 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
well you didn't say value, you said joy.
joy, happiness, etc...all values in life, no?
quote:
I think we have kids b.c we are biologically programmed to.
oh absolutely
I haven't said it in this thread because it generally pisses people off (especially women), but I do believe that if someone truly doesn't want to have kids, they have some sort of mental defect
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:15 pm to Pecker
My wife and I are lucky that we've always been on the same page about not wanting kids. I don't fault anyone for wanting kids (except for the "I make $10/hr and want 8 kids!" people), but it's not something I want for myself. I have 6 nieces and nephews and 2 godchildren whom I love very much, but it's really, really awesome to hand them back to their parents when it's time to go home.
Besides, if we get to be into our mid-40's and decide we really missed out, then we can always adopt.
Edit: When I was younger I always just assumed that I would have kids because it's just what people do. As I got older and some friends started to have kids I really sat down and analyzed my stance on it and, while I think I could be a good parent if I had to be, I don't WANT to be a parent. I like the personal and financial freedom that a lot of my friends don't have; my wife and I travel a LOT more than most of friends with small children. I still think that is a biological urge to procreate, but it's not what I want when I think through things logically.
Besides, if we get to be into our mid-40's and decide we really missed out, then we can always adopt.
Edit: When I was younger I always just assumed that I would have kids because it's just what people do. As I got older and some friends started to have kids I really sat down and analyzed my stance on it and, while I think I could be a good parent if I had to be, I don't WANT to be a parent. I like the personal and financial freedom that a lot of my friends don't have; my wife and I travel a LOT more than most of friends with small children. I still think that is a biological urge to procreate, but it's not what I want when I think through things logically.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:23 pm
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:18 pm to Salmon
quote:
I haven't said it in this thread because it generally pisses people off (especially women), but I do believe that if someone truly doesn't want to have kids, they have some sort of mental defect
Of they just let reason rule their lives. Cause, i am biologically programmed to frick as many women as possible but I manage to not do that. This is hailed as a virtue, while not having kids is viewed as being selfish.
shite is fricked up if you ask me.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:27 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Of they just let reason rule their lives. Cause, i am biologically programmed to frick as many women as possible but I manage to not do that.
true, but I also think there had been a deep evolution in the societal family unit
early man it was a necessity to breed as many different women as possible to ensure offspring, nowadays strong family units are the best way to ensure healthy and productive offspring
quote:
This is hailed as a virtue, while not having kids is viewed as being selfish.
Not having kids can be viewed as selfish, but so can having kids. Just look at some of the reasons you listed earlier, those were completely selfish reasons.
quote:
shite is fricked up if you ask me.
such is life
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 2:28 pm
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:28 pm to Salmon
This thread still going??
Has everyone agreed that kids are indeed the answer to all your problems? Did TD create another baby boom??
Has everyone agreed that kids are indeed the answer to all your problems? Did TD create another baby boom??
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:31 pm to BlackAdam
I'm sorry for your loss. I bet you're a great father though.
I'm at the turning point in my life where I might have to have a hysterectomy at only 32 and all I want is a child with my partner. But if I carry, if even to term, it could be a life or death situation for me. I'd do anything to have child. But not die.
I'm at the turning point in my life where I might have to have a hysterectomy at only 32 and all I want is a child with my partner. But if I carry, if even to term, it could be a life or death situation for me. I'd do anything to have child. But not die.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 2:35 pm to GeauxLSUGRL
I'm sorry you are having to go through that. I know it must also be tough when people ask if you have kids or if yall are gonna have kids and why not?
Some people are just curious, but don't always know how those innocent questions can really wound someone.
Or they say "well you can always just adopt". As if it is that simple of a solution. Never mind the $$$$$ it costs to adopt and the emotional roller coaster it forces a couple to go through....and they could end up out in serious debt with no child to show for it.
Some people are just curious, but don't always know how those innocent questions can really wound someone.
Or they say "well you can always just adopt". As if it is that simple of a solution. Never mind the $$$$$ it costs to adopt and the emotional roller coaster it forces a couple to go through....and they could end up out in serious debt with no child to show for it.
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