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re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:47 am to Lsupimp
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:47 am to Lsupimp
quote:
And you will never know the single greatest thing about being a man.
I disagree so much with this. As I said earlier, the greatest thing in your life should be your spouse. Not your kids.
quote:
All I'm saying is bookmark the thread, and get back to us five years after your wedding date
I know I'm not the OP, but my wife and I will hit 5 years in June. We are more sure about our decision to not have kids now more than ever.
1
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:50 am to DrewDawg13
quote:
I disagree so much with this. As I said earlier, the greatest thing in your life should be your spouse. Not your kids.
sorry man, but I'll have to disagree here
you and your spouse chose to be together, but you freaking made your kids
I love my wife wholeheartedly, but kids...its just a different level of love and I know you will probably roll your eyes at this, but it is just something only a parent will understand
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 11:52 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:52 am to Pecker
The fat, depressing slob comment...those people would prob still be fat and depressed without children.
With 2 kids under three years of age, I do not know how someone can be fat or depressed. We are either chasing the kids, bringing them to the park, rough housing, taking them on walks, or working.
The fat slobs prob ignore their kids, sit on their arse, eat shite food that easy to prepare bc they are lazy, and have no desire to take care of themselves bc their attention deprived kids are bouncing off the walls.
Not one single iota of time has passed where I wish I didn't have my boys.
With 2 kids under three years of age, I do not know how someone can be fat or depressed. We are either chasing the kids, bringing them to the park, rough housing, taking them on walks, or working.
The fat slobs prob ignore their kids, sit on their arse, eat shite food that easy to prepare bc they are lazy, and have no desire to take care of themselves bc their attention deprived kids are bouncing off the walls.
Not one single iota of time has passed where I wish I didn't have my boys.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:52 am to Salmon
quote:
sorry man, but I'll have to disagree here
you and your spouse chose to be together, but you freaking made your kids
I love my wife wholeheartedly, but kids...its just a different level of love
We can agree to disagree.
The way I see it, is you chose your wife well before your kids came around(most of the time).
To me your spouse should always be no.1.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:52 am to Pecker
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids as a married couple. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Becoming a parent isn't for everyone and I think it takes a great deal of maturity and self reflection to be able to honestly admit that about yourself.
My husband and I went back and forth of the children issues. When we first started dating both of us agreed we wanted them. After we married we both had our doubts about it and considered just not having them. And the backlash we got from others we admitted this to was ridiculous ("but you will die alone and lonely" "who will care for you when you get older" "you will regret this one day").
We have since agreed that we would like to be parents...however, once we started actually trying it was discovered I have a medical condition that makes this nearly impossible without the help of fertility treatments. After a couple failed fertility treatments (which has put it's own strain on us), we've decided that two more rounds is all we have left in us to try for children. So if it doesn't happen in those 2 rounds....kids are just off the table for us. And considering everything else that has been going on lately with my family and the flood and all.....I've already made peace with that possibility and will just enjoy life to the fullest with the circumstances God gave me.
Becoming a parent isn't for everyone and I think it takes a great deal of maturity and self reflection to be able to honestly admit that about yourself.
My husband and I went back and forth of the children issues. When we first started dating both of us agreed we wanted them. After we married we both had our doubts about it and considered just not having them. And the backlash we got from others we admitted this to was ridiculous ("but you will die alone and lonely" "who will care for you when you get older" "you will regret this one day").
We have since agreed that we would like to be parents...however, once we started actually trying it was discovered I have a medical condition that makes this nearly impossible without the help of fertility treatments. After a couple failed fertility treatments (which has put it's own strain on us), we've decided that two more rounds is all we have left in us to try for children. So if it doesn't happen in those 2 rounds....kids are just off the table for us. And considering everything else that has been going on lately with my family and the flood and all.....I've already made peace with that possibility and will just enjoy life to the fullest with the circumstances God gave me.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:53 am to DrewDawg13
quote:
To me your spouse should always be no.1.
well then its probably a good things y'all have chosen to not have kids then
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:54 am to Salmon
quote:
well then its probably a good things y'all have chosen to not have kids then
The attitude that your kids should be first is what leads to a lot of problems in marriages.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:55 am to Pecker
quote:
My fiance and I are about to tie the knot and we had a pretty good talk about not having kids. We first had this talk about 3 years ago (been together for 5 years now) and nothing has changed. We both are doing well financially but our careers require a lot of time and we'd like to experience the joys of life when not working.
Reasons not to:
1) they seem like a lot of work
2) there is always that chance they grow up to be worthless shitheads (no matter how well you raise them)
3) I'd like to enjoy the finer things in life
4) we see worthless shitty kids all over the place with their fat, worn-down, depressed parents and I don't want to be that
These comments are all indicators of a selfish person.
Guaranteed, when you or your partner hit the skids in life, and everybody does at some point, the other person will bail. Two selfish people. Result is already etched in stone.
Congrats. Butch Jones has taught you nothing. You do not win a Life Championship.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:56 am to Pecker
I don't have kids, and am 43. When I see my friends with kids that are like 10, i go, man that looks like fun.
but then I see the parents with a two year old, and go, that doesnt look like fun. Same with my friends that have teenagers. One girl (16) ran away and was living with some 30 year old in a motel doing some sort of drug. WHen they took her back, she accused her father of molesting her. And she ended up getting emmancipation and disappearing. eta: I don't know this women particularly well, she is the sister of my wife's bestie. I have met her more than a few times, and she gave that kid a lot growing up.
I dunno, I have a bit of regret but I have also visited ~40+ countries. And have an awesome life. Will retire in about 2.5 years.
but then I see the parents with a two year old, and go, that doesnt look like fun. Same with my friends that have teenagers. One girl (16) ran away and was living with some 30 year old in a motel doing some sort of drug. WHen they took her back, she accused her father of molesting her. And she ended up getting emmancipation and disappearing. eta: I don't know this women particularly well, she is the sister of my wife's bestie. I have met her more than a few times, and she gave that kid a lot growing up.
I dunno, I have a bit of regret but I have also visited ~40+ countries. And have an awesome life. Will retire in about 2.5 years.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 11:58 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:57 am to DrewDawg13
quote:
The attitude that your kids should be first is what leads to a lot of problems in marriages.
it can be a contributing factor, sure, especially if one side of the partnership feels neglected
but if your kids are the wedge that drive you and your spouse apart, then there were underlying issues elsewhere, kids just exposed them
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:58 am to Salmon
quote:
it can be a contributing factor, sure, especially if one side of the partnership feels neglected
but if your kids are the wedge that drive you and your spouse apart, then there were underlying issues elsewhere, kids just exposed them
I don't have kids but agree with this. You have kids, they have to be your number one priority. Both parents. All the time.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 11:59 am to Salmon
quote:
it can be a contributing factor, sure, especially if one side of the partnership feels neglected
but if your kids are the wedge that drive you and your spouse apart, then there were underlying issues elsewhere, kids just exposed them
I agree. Sadly a lot of people who become parents aren't ready for them. Or they have problem already, and thinks having kids will solve their problems. People do the same thing with getting married.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:00 pm to DrewDawg13
quote:
The attitude that your kids should be first is what leads to a lot of problems in marriages.
I have read this multiple times. In order for a child to have a healthy home with two loving parents...those parents need to still place a very high priority on their marriage. Ignoring the marriage to place all focus on the children will end up with the marriage potentially failing. Also...at some point those children will leave your home and it will be just you and your spouse again....make sure to always nurture that so the marriage survives after the kids leave the home.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:02 pm to Pecker
quote:
Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids
Of course not
quote:
they seem like a lot of work
Most good things in life are
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:03 pm to Hawkeye95
Yea I know a older guy who went off the deep end all bc his wife "loved the kids more." Cheated and split. Swore up and down that it was all bc she loved the kids more and didn't pay any attention to him...there's some underlying shite going on with that man.
Also, the best thing a friend who didn't want to have kids told me was, "I'm fricked up. My parents are fricked up. I love kids. But no way I'd bring kids into this world with me and my family." I thought that was pretty good self realization on his part. If only more people would think it through.
Also, the best thing a friend who didn't want to have kids told me was, "I'm fricked up. My parents are fricked up. I love kids. But no way I'd bring kids into this world with me and my family." I thought that was pretty good self realization on his part. If only more people would think it through.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:05 pm to Rossberg02
Considering that becoming a parent is the biggest life-changing decision one makes in their life, I would think it would be very wise for people to think long and hard about it. And not have kids because that is "what everyone else does".
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:09 pm to Pecker
If ya'll choose not too have at least one child....when you become elderly and look back at your life and what you would do differently...not having at least one child will be your biggest regret
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:12 pm to Bow08tie
quote:
If ya'll choose not too have at least one child....when you become elderly and look back at your life and what you would do differently...not having at least one child will be your biggest regret
I think its a shitty way to live life based on well I might regret doing this/not doing this later in life.
All you will end up doing is what everyone else does, and frankly that is fricking boring.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:16 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
but then I see the parents with a two year old, and go, that doesnt look like fun
The fun times are incredibly fun. But the not fun times are incredibly not. Each probably gets a little less extreme the older they get.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 12:19 pm to Pecker
Thought of not having children never crossed our minds. We stopped at three per physician recommendation. No doubt being a parent can turn you inside-out and cause you to meet yourself coming and going but on balance parenthood is worth it. Being a grandfather is the BOMB!!!
If you don't wish to have children, then don't
If you don't wish to have children, then don't
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