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Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:11 am to Salmon
quote:
calling people born with mental disorders "shitty people" kinda makes you a shitty person TBH
Probably didn't convey that in the best way possible. No, I don't think kids born with mental disorders are "shitty."
But it can lead to shitty experiences. My fiance has a really young cousin with bipolar disorder and they've had some shitty experiences. Like he's threatened to kill his parents and siblings.
There are also just bad kids with bad personalities. That's life.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:11 am to Pecker
quote:
I like to hear opposing views. I think it allows for better decision making and contemplation.
+1
Even if I don't agree with them
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 10:12 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:13 am to Pecker
Kids
Freedom
Pick one
Freedom
Pick one
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:14 am to Pecker
If you are that big of a sissy then please don't have children.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:14 am to Pecker
quote:
My fiance and I are about to tie the knot and we had a pretty good talk about not having kids. We first had this talk about 3 years ago (been together for 5 years now) and nothing has changed. We both are doing well financially but our careers require a lot of time and we'd like to experience the joys of life when not working.
Reasons not to:
1) they seem like a lot of work
2) there is always that chance they grow up to be worthless shitheads (no matter how well you raise them)
3) I'd like to enjoy the finer things in life
4) we see worthless shitty kids all over the place with their fat, worn-down, depressed parents and I don't want to be that
If you and your partner have unprotected sex and she get pregnant do you kill it or take responsibility?
I ask because not wanting kids and planning to NOT have them is a very responsible thing to do. Nothing wrong there.
Not wanting kids and failing to plan to NOT have kids then saying opps, lets go to the Dr. and get rid of this mistake is where I think a lot of the problem comes in.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:16 am to Pecker
quote:
Reasons not to: 1) they seem like a lot of work 2) there is always that chance they grow up to be worthless shitheads (no matter how well you raise them) 3) I'd like to enjoy the finer things in life 4) we see worthless shitty kids all over the place with their fat, worn-down, depressed parents and I don't want to be that
Sounds like you just have not reached the maturity level for kids. Nothing wrong with that. Each person has to set his own value system and follow it as best he can.
When and if you do have them, just put a little effort and thought into it and you'll do fine. It amazes me how many people seem to be clueless. Don't fall into either the ultra strict aloof parents or the hippy dippy feel good parents extremes. Teach them right from wrong, tell them you love them every night before they go to sleep and the odds are in your favor that they will grow up well.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:16 am to LucasP
quote:
Having a kid will always be a person's biggest regret in life. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying to you or themselves.
Dude..just bc your parents regret having you doesn't equate to everyone regretting having their own.
Hell, I regret your parents had you with a fricked up view of the world like that.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 10:17 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:16 am to rocket31
quote:
Kids
Freedom
Pick one
marriage and career kills freedom more than kids
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:18 am to Snipe
quote:
If you and your partner have unprotected sex and she get pregnant do you kill it or take responsibility?
I ask because not wanting kids and planning to NOT have them is a very responsible thing to do. Nothing wrong there.
Not wanting kids and failing to plan to NOT have kids then saying opps, lets go to the Dr. and get rid of this mistake is where I think a lot of the problem comes in.
Come on bro. We're both very responsible.
She's been on the pill our entire relationship and I don't finish inside of her like we're in some kind of creampie fetish film.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:18 am to Pecker
wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for 3.5
still on the no kids or dogs bandwagon and loving it. We go wherever we want and do whatever we want each weekend without having to worry about people to watch kids or dogs. It's also nice getting a full night of sleep each night.
still on the no kids or dogs bandwagon and loving it. We go wherever we want and do whatever we want each weekend without having to worry about people to watch kids or dogs. It's also nice getting a full night of sleep each night.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:20 am to Salmon
This is the part of the argument I don't get. You want to know why someone doesn't want kids, but when they list reasons, you guys shoot every one down. Many people have had to give up things they love for kids. To unilaterally say nobody has to give those things up is absurd.
Like OP mentioned, how many people do you know (kids or no kids) can afford to travel the world? Not very many. If you have the wiggle room to afford it without a kid, that doesn't necessarily mean you can afford it with a kid.
Like OP mentioned, how many people do you know (kids or no kids) can afford to travel the world? Not very many. If you have the wiggle room to afford it without a kid, that doesn't necessarily mean you can afford it with a kid.
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 10:22 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:23 am to Salmon
To answer the question: Not only is my answer: never, ever, not even once, but the one thing I know more than anything I have ever known is that the birth and rearing of my two sons is the greatest gift I have ever received in my life time and there is no chance anything will ever top that. There are times it is difficult, time consuming, frustrating and nerve racking, but the simple rewards, the awe, the pride and mainly the true unconditional love far outweigh any negative.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:24 am to SaintBrees
quote:
You want to know why someone doesn't want kids, but when they list reasons, you guys shoot every one down.
I'm not shooting them down. Just telling him that he doesn't necessarily have to give them up.
quote:
Many people have had to give up things they love for kids
he hasn't listed anything that it seems like he would have to give up
I have plenty of friends that still travel with kids
in no way am I telling this guy that he has to have kids to be happy
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 10:27 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:25 am to SaintBrees
Get a few more kid threads in you and you'll realize most people here are full of shite when discussing it. The posters with kids are perfect parents with perfectly behaved children. The ones without kids know exactly how to raise them. It's a good read once you realize most don't know wtf they are talking about. 
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:29 am to Salmon
quote:
I have plenty of friends that still travel with kids
Right, but let's not pretend this is the case for all people. The average American lives on a budget of some kind. If you bring home an income that perfectly allows for international travel once a year due to budgeting, it is safe to assume those funds have to be used elsewhere if you procreate.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:31 am to SaintBrees
quote:
Right, but let's not pretend this is the case for all people.
of course it's not (we can't travel that much with our kid)
but I wasn't spending weeks in Bora Bora and Austria before kids either
quote:
If you bring home an income that perfectly allows for international travel once a year due to budgeting, it is safe to assume those funds have to be used elsewhere if you procreate.
I'm going by the OP, who claims to travel to Bora Bora and the Swiss Alps (some of the most expensive vacations out there)
if he isn't full of shite (which is probably is), he shouldn't have that much of an issue still traveling after a kid
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 10:32 am
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:32 am to Pecker
And you will never know the single greatest thing about being a man. And that is to sit at the head of the table at your favorite restaurant, surrounded by your family, eating and laughing. Maybe your son has his impossibly charming girlfriend and your daughter is laughing and telling jokes and being the apple of your eye. And your wife looks at you and you share a thought with a glance and you know you both are having a spiritual moment about the importance and unbreakable bond of family and the beauty it brings to life. And at the very end you pull out your wallet, and like the "Pater familias" that you are, you pay the bill. Best feeling in the world right there. You don't get that with dinner in year 22 with your wife. The quiet satisfaction of being the Pater familias.
I can explain it. But I can't make you feel it. Again though, if you can't nurture and teach and be unselfish, don't have kids OR get married. The kind of people that excel at one, tend to excel at the other.
I can explain it. But I can't make you feel it. Again though, if you can't nurture and teach and be unselfish, don't have kids OR get married. The kind of people that excel at one, tend to excel at the other.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:37 am to Lsupimp
Nope my 12 year old is my dude. We are together everyday doing something. My little girl melts my heart. My biggest regret is the time I lost with the drunk.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:37 am to Brinner
quote:
Never! They might be tough at times and you lose freedoms but the enjoyment of watching them grow and the unconditional love you have for them outweighs any negatives.
Pretty much this.
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