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re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:50 am to Pecker
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:50 am to Pecker
quote:
I honestly don't think I'd want to haul young kids around all over the world. It sounds miserable. I've never sat on an 18 hr flight with my own kids, but I've sat on an 18 hr flight with other people's kids. And everyone on the plane wanted to strangle the life out of those kids.
And it seems shitty to leave your young kids for extended periods of time because you want to enjoy your separate life without them.
if you value traveling more, which from this thread, you seem to imply, don't have kids
what is the issue?
or are you just trying to convince yourself of something?
2
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:51 am to Pecker
at about 130 this morning when my toddler woke up screaming and it took me about 30 minutes to get him to go back to sleep.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:51 am to Pecker
As for "the finer things in life" nothing is better than having all your kids and your wife snuggled up in your bed watching a movie before bed time. I have a lot of expensive hobbies and do a lot of what I want, but nothing beats that.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:51 am to SaintBrees
Where did you get that from??
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:53 am to Salmon
quote:
if you value traveling more, which from this thread, you seem to imply, don't have kids
what is the issue?
or are you just trying to convince yourself of something?
This is the kind of deeply personal decision that a person can only make soundly after deep soul-searching and internet discussion.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:54 am to Pecker
quote:
We are both Bible-believing Christians.
well isn't it a biblical imperative to have kids?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:54 am to oleyeller
quote:
How old are you?
Me and the wife married when i was 23. We didnt want kids, we enjoyed vacations 5-6 times a year. Going and comming as we please. Being spontanious on a friday evening after work and saying hey lets run to the beach for the weekend. Buying a new truck every year, buying atvs, and boats, and enjoying nice things for ourself.
but about a year ago (i was 32) we both just got tired of the same ole same life and needed something more. We both saw all our friends with their kids and enjoying doing things with them. And we decided we needed/wanted kids in our life.
Point is.... your thought process may change
I'm 28. She's 27. Out though-process certainly may change. And I'm ok with that. I guess I'm just always planning for the future. I've always been that way with school, my career and my personal life. And I just don't foresee our careers slowing down to the point where it will be practical to do the things we want to do and still have children.
You're right though. Things can change.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:55 am to tke857
quote:
It's really simple. Go get married. Get stable, move up the company ladder, etc etc, travel the world or do whatever the frick yall want for 5-6yrs (If you cant get most of what you want do childless, within reason, in 5yrs then you probably dont have the money to have kids anyways.)
After 5yrs then start thinking about having kids. If yall dont want them by then or just wait or dont have them at all.
Well said
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:56 am to Mr. Hangover
quote:
Where did you get that from??
There are stories of people regretting their kids (and people well into their 60s still happy with their decision not to have them) all over the internet. I recently read a multi-part story that has been updated over the past few years from the POV of a guy who gave his wife a kid and regrets it. Heavy shite.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:56 am to Passing Wind
quote:
After reading your post...do any potential kids a favor, and don't procreate. You sound like a complete prick honestly.
Why can't people understand that this is the penultimate decision in someone's life?
If he was a selfish prick he'd just bust a fatty in his ol lady then throw caution to the wind when it comes to his kid... why can't people understand that it's not everyone's life goal to have children ?
And this is coming from a parent who would never give up his child for anything.. my life was GREAT before I became a father and it's even better now - it really just revolves around your outlook on life
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:56 am to Pecker
Don't worry about some of the people on here. We have been married almost 5 years, and are approaching being 30. People tel us all the time that our minds will change, and one magic day we will wake up and want kids. But after nearly 5 years of marriage, 8 years of being together, and over 10 years of knowing each other, it only makes us more sure we don't want kids.
Of course people will say that we are bad people, or why even get married, but I laugh at these people. Most people are now under the impression that they should be a mommy or daddy first, which to me is so wrong. Without your spouse there wouldn't be any kids. To say having kids is the only reason to get married is insane to me.
Saintbrees is one of the only honest people in this thread. Kids are hard work. Being around them all the time for work makes you realize that. Seeing your friends and families kids makes you realize that. We are like y'all, and we love to travel and love our careers. If you don't want them, don't have them. Contrary to popular believe, you can be perfectly happy without kids.
Of course people will say that we are bad people, or why even get married, but I laugh at these people. Most people are now under the impression that they should be a mommy or daddy first, which to me is so wrong. Without your spouse there wouldn't be any kids. To say having kids is the only reason to get married is insane to me.
Saintbrees is one of the only honest people in this thread. Kids are hard work. Being around them all the time for work makes you realize that. Seeing your friends and families kids makes you realize that. We are like y'all, and we love to travel and love our careers. If you don't want them, don't have them. Contrary to popular believe, you can be perfectly happy without kids.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:57 am to Salmon
quote:
well isn't it a biblical imperative to have kids?
I don't believe we are required Biblically to have children. I can see how some may feel that way though.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:58 am to Pecker
Did Jesus think sick people were shitty?
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:58 am to Mr. Hangover
I'm not talking about his decision I'm talking about his use of shitty kids this, and that.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:00 am to Salmon
quote:
if you value traveling more, which from this thread, you seem to imply, don't have kids
what is the issue?
or are you just trying to convince yourself of something?
I like to hear opposing views. I think it allows for better decision making and contemplation.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:03 am to Mr. Hangover
My wife and I just had our son five days ago. It's her second and my first (stepdaughter is 8). He's been a blessing! It's the best feeling in the world the first time I saw him! I just wanna watch him 24 hours a day. We are pretty financially stable. We own our home, have one car payment, and about 20k in savings.. it still worries me that we don't have more in savings, but I know we will be ok. FYI I'm 39 and she's 32. She will be on maternity leave for 12 weeks. It's a damn good feeling!!
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:03 am to Pecker
quote:
I like to hear opposing views. I think it allows for better decision making and contemplation.
well the facts are that you don't have to give up doing the things you enjoy when you have kids
they might be a bit more difficult and require more planning, but in no way do you have to give them up
and from my experiences, from traveling and experiences with no child and with a child, experiencing life through a child is infinitely more joyful than without
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:04 am to Passing Wind
quote:
I'm not talking about his decision I'm talking about his use of shitty kids this, and that.
I'm just being honest. There are shitty kids out there, a lot of them, that grow up to be shitty people.
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:06 am to Pecker
quote:
I'm just being honest. There are shitty kids out there, a lot of them, that grow up to be shitty people.
calling people born with mental disorders "shitty people" kinda makes you a shitty person TBH
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:06 am to Pecker
There is zero reason to marry if family is not your intention.If you both don't want kids there is almost no chance a marriage lasts over time. Just the fact that you are so self-focused and need to be the center of the Universe to such a point that you think kids would be a drag on your travel plans, indicates that your marriage has little chance to last the test of time. Because marriage is far more difficult than parenthood. Your love for a child never wanes. If you can't handle the thought of kids, you sure as hell can't handle being married twenty years down the road. Marriage is work. Kids are gravy.
And let me explain the essential gift that kids give you that you clearly don't understand. They take you from a self-absorbed boy who is used to receiving praise and gratification and being the center of things, to being in a much more gratifying and rewarding place. Kids allow you to remove yourself from the center of your Universe and to put them there in your place. You go from being selfish to selfless almost overnight.You provide, you nurture, you give, you sacrifice. Pretty soon you see where there was selfishness, there is now virtue that you did not previously know existed. And the humility you learn through that, combined with this "highest love" you feel for your children is the gift they give you. If you deprive yourself of loving fatherhood, you miss THE essential experience of being alive.
My wife and I were together for four years before we were married. We were married for another four years before we started our family. During those years we lived abroad,moved to the mountains, went to Tahiti, Asia and Europe, climbed 14er's-did all those kind of things. Then one day we said "is this it?". You will see how it works. It's a natural progression in maturity and personal morality. You will change and need more. Book mark the thread and get back to me five years after you are married.
And let me explain the essential gift that kids give you that you clearly don't understand. They take you from a self-absorbed boy who is used to receiving praise and gratification and being the center of things, to being in a much more gratifying and rewarding place. Kids allow you to remove yourself from the center of your Universe and to put them there in your place. You go from being selfish to selfless almost overnight.You provide, you nurture, you give, you sacrifice. Pretty soon you see where there was selfishness, there is now virtue that you did not previously know existed. And the humility you learn through that, combined with this "highest love" you feel for your children is the gift they give you. If you deprive yourself of loving fatherhood, you miss THE essential experience of being alive.
My wife and I were together for four years before we were married. We were married for another four years before we started our family. During those years we lived abroad,moved to the mountains, went to Tahiti, Asia and Europe, climbed 14er's-did all those kind of things. Then one day we said "is this it?". You will see how it works. It's a natural progression in maturity and personal morality. You will change and need more. Book mark the thread and get back to me five years after you are married.
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