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re: Did your wife change after your first kid?

Posted on 2/13/21 at 8:47 am to
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11257 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 8:47 am to
quote:

I’ll never understand this. I have known girls who didn’t have sex from the time they got pregnant through the first year of their kid’s life. All jokes aside, that is truly insane and unfair.


It’s wild! There are over 400 moms in this group for my birth month. Someone made a poll about sex a couple weeks ago, and the overwhelming majority just...aren’t. With many who, like you said, are basically taking 2 years off from sex and fully believe their husbands ought to just grow up and deal with it without complaint. That’s how you end up divorced.
Posted by KemoSabe65
70605
Member since Mar 2018
5205 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 8:47 am to
Eventually we get tired of going to the trouble of asking only to be told NO and find other outlets for happiness. Planned to leave after kids left but now I’m staying to ignore her and get some much deserved satisfaction from her misery.
Posted by BayouENGR
Seagrove Beach
Member since Nov 2015
2325 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:00 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/14/21 at 6:14 pm
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10323 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:20 am to
quote:

we hold a special love for ourselves. We will be longer than the kids will be dependent on us.

We both are committed to each other regardless. We love our kids but realize that our commitment isn’t based on our kids.

This is great and how it should be!
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10323 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:24 am to
quote:

We are typically an every couple years act couple.
We are roommates for the most part now.
That isn’t good, normal, healthy, or fair to you. You might want to consider therapy or other options. I’m a woman in my 30’s who loves sex and has a child.

Life is too short to be in a sexless relationship.
Posted by MLU
Member since Feb 2017
1677 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:27 am to
This would have moved me up a spot. Lol
Posted by udtiger
Over your left shoulder
Member since Nov 2006
99153 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:29 am to
Some change after the first (nothing dramatic - typical life adjustments). Big change after second (and last) because she became a "stay at home" mom and she had been a career woman to that point (and was damned good at what she did). She never regretted it and our kids absolutely benefitted from it.
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
55845 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:30 am to
quote:

tigergirl10


quote:

I’m a woman in my 30’s who loves sex and has a child.

Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129044 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:32 am to
quote:

I’m a woman in my 30’s who loves sex and has a child.



No you aren't


Give up the act....no one, and I mean NO ONE on this board believes you actually possess a vagina
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61359 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:35 am to
quote:

That isn’t good, normal, healthy, or fair to you. You might want to consider therapy or other options. I’m a woman in my 30’s who loves sex and has a child.

Life is too short to be in a sexless relationship.



Chicken and his admin team must really like you Walt.
Posted by Who_Dat_Tiger
Member since Nov 2015
17766 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 9:36 am to
Our first is on the way
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
39062 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:26 am to
A to C.
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:31 am to
quote:

Some change after the first (nothing dramatic - typical life adjustments).


I'd say it changes ALL women, and even changes men. And it should. It's a life altering moment. If hearing a baby you helped create cry in the delivery room doesn't change you, I'd argue you have no soul. Part of marriage is navigating and adapting to those changes. Many are successful doing that, many are not.
Posted by High C
viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
53983 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:33 am to
My wife changed from minute to minute.
Posted by tiger91
In my own little world
Member since Nov 2005
36744 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 10:37 am to
quote:

That 6 year period between kids and grandkids was a period of drift for her. She had trouble finding meaning in her life. It’s my opinion that if a person does not have a way to contribute to the well-being of others it is impossible to be content


This is sort of where we are .. I work very part time (currently from home due to covid) but with no kids to see about/be responsible for/do things for, it's just kind of like you're out there floundering to figure out what to do next.

Just a weird season for sure that I don't really care for. Second son is getting married in a year so it'll be a while before grandkids come my way. I'm trying to hang in there.
Posted by PiscesTiger
Concrete, WA
Member since Feb 2004
53696 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 11:33 am to
Of course. She had some depression even. But makes having the next kid much easier.
Posted by tigersownall
Thibodaux
Member since Sep 2011
15361 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 11:36 am to
Thanks for your service baw.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10323 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 11:38 am to
quote:

It can be a cause for much angst for many married men
And a great cause of divorce. I can’t imagine much of a relationship is left after the kids are grown and years of her time we’re only spent on kids that are now living on their own.
Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
66475 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 11:41 am to
quote:

It’s like motherhood has elevated her to another level of responsibility and responsiveness and awesomeness and I can’t help but think it’s because she’s preternaturally disposed to providing for our daughter and I’m just along for the ride.


We have a 7 month old. I agree with all of this.
Posted by Upperdecker
St. George, LA
Member since Nov 2014
30615 posts
Posted on 2/13/21 at 11:44 am to
quote:

Once kids come along, you’re number two.

Yea but the woman is number 2 for us too. Kids come first for everybody except shite tier parents
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