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re: Considering rebooting my life

Posted on 6/13/23 at 3:58 pm to
Posted by Captain Crackysack
Member since Oct 2017
2231 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 3:58 pm to
Come on offshore, baw. Work half the year, off half the year. Live wherever you want in the world and we’re still getting raises.
Posted by mjthe
Virginia
Member since Oct 2020
6870 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 3:58 pm to
If you could do anything in the world, what would you do? Do you know what you want to do with your life? What makes you happy? Are you religious? I'm no beacon of light, but I've always had some sense I had a mission and knew what I want to do with my life, and someone who had a good background like it seems you do - and that I'd figure it out

I know you posted in one of my threads so you know I don't have it all figured out either
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81222 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:00 pm to
quote:

Instead of researching and arguing on interesting issues that I have even a shred of passion about,


To be fair, the % of attorneys who live this life is fairly low. That's more like the TV version of an attorney's day to day life than it is the reality.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
114015 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:00 pm to
What about construction made you feel like a bad person?
Posted by rintintin
Life is Life
Member since Nov 2008
16191 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:01 pm to
Went through a similar change at a similar age. One job I realized I just wasn't going to make enough money and I was underutilizing skills that I knew I had. My next job I absolutely loathed like you and needed to get out before I went insane.

quote:

For those who have changed career fields, how did you determine what career path to go down?




I always liked business and finance and I knew I was decent at it, so that's the route I took. I didn't really have a specific career in mind, but knew at the very least I would be marketable.

quote:

How did you leverage the need for additional schooling/training to get the new career you wanted vs the financial need to support yourself now?


This is the tricky part. I was lucky and able to go back and get my MBA with a tuition waiver because I worked at the institution. I know that's unreasonable for most, so it'll probably be your biggest hurdle financially.

Also, going back to school when you're working full time is tough. They cater programs now to people like us, but it's still stressful and time consuming. That 3 years really pushed me to the brink in most aspects of life honestly.

quote:

How did that pivot work for you in your sense of personal satisfaction, work/life balance, etc?


Absolutely worth it. Better job. Better life balance. New scenery. I get sick sometimes when I think about where I would be right now if I didn't take those steps.

quote:

Did you have to relocate to a different part of the country, and if so, how did the change of scenery impact your life going forward?


Yes, across the country. Again, totally worth it. You're at that age where if you don't make the jump now, you probably won't. And while LA will always be home and I'm sure I'll end up back there eventually, getting out was a blessing.
Posted by BoogaBear
Member since Jul 2013
5594 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:04 pm to
Seems to me you have a void in other areas of your life you're trying to fill with work.

Pretty much any job with a good salary is going to have the same stress and red tape.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58963 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:04 pm to
quote:

The problem is that "actual legal work" is like 0.00000001% of being a lawyer in my experience.


A dirty little secret.

quote:

billable hours requirements


Posted by gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
15224 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:05 pm to
quote:

I also had an exceptionally crappy boss. Plus, I didn't like averaging 77hrs/wk for months at a time.



Yeah, those kinds of conditions can wear a guy out. Working 70+ hours a week for months at a time leaves little room for personal life and that could turn a person sour on that field of work-----at least for that company.

One of my nephews is an attorney who worked in Contractual Law for a firm in N.O. and he eventually got burned out.

Luckily for him, his wife is now a Dr. working for a major hospital in N.O., so he's playing Mr. Mom dealing with their kids while she heads to the hospital daily.

Good thing is, I'm sure her salary far surpasses anything he was making in law.
Posted by Aubie Spr96
lolwut?
Member since Dec 2009
41181 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:08 pm to
Johnson O'Connor


I post this in everyone of these threads. Go here. Get the testing done. They will help you match your aptitudes with careers that use them. Best money I ever spent.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67160 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:08 pm to
quote:

Do you know what you want to do with your life?

I used to, but I do not any more. I spent my teens and 20's planning to be able to be a husband and father to support a family. I saw passions as selfish and only cared about having a career that would allow me to support others financially because I thought that was the only measurement that mattered. I was married, then I discovered that I couldn't have kids of my own, and my wife left me. I have struggled for general direction ever since.

quote:

What makes you happy?


Making music, debating, researching weird abstract topics, trying new foods, beautiful natural places and aesthetic architecture

quote:

Are you religious?


I used to be. I had a near death experience last year where I literally visited the afterlife. It has definitely shaken me to my core and left me questioning everything that I previously knew. It's a weird dichotomy, I now have unshakable personal evidence that the Christian God exists, but also have unshakable personal evidence for why I shouldn't necessarily trust in said God. Our God is FALLIBLE. He makes MISTAKES...ALL THE TIME! As a result, I have struggled to go back to church since then.

quote:

I've always had some sense I had a mission and knew what I want to do with my life


I was offered a mission in the after life, but it was one completely antithetical to my values as a person. I turned the mission down, and was told that it was my cross to bear to not allow that mission to happen if I was rejecting it. I know that's really vague and weird, but Peter's a real piece of work, after-all. Never met an answer he wanted to give straight.
This post was edited on 6/13/23 at 4:10 pm
Posted by Captain Crackysack
Member since Oct 2017
2231 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:12 pm to
Damn baw, what kind of drugs are you on?
Posted by lake chuck fan
westlake
Member since Aug 2011
9226 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:12 pm to
I'm too old and poor to relocate but if I could.... I move to the mountains. Northern New Mexico or Colorado. All I would need is a shack with running water. Lol
Live out in the woods and wake up everyday looking outside to postcard scenery, clean air(altitude sucks, have to adjust), no humidity. Spent 10 days up there hiking and driving around all over, beautiful.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67160 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:12 pm to
quote:

Damn baw, what kind of drugs are you on?

None. I don't even drink caffeine any more. I don't take any prescription meds. I have cut back on alcohol severely as well.
This post was edited on 6/13/23 at 4:13 pm
Posted by RT1941
Member since May 2007
30260 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:13 pm to
quote:

Mostly work hours. In construction, when I got to work 4 10's, I was incredibly happy. I literally never got sick, never needed a day off, never got bored, always worked happy and efficiently, and had plenty of time for my hobbies and self-care. When I worked 13 14's I deeply considered stabbing myself every morning so I wouldn't need to go to work.

You're a lawyer, did you not know when you worked so hard to get that law degree and pass the bar that you wouldn't get 3 days off a week (4-10's) to pursue your hobbies, passions and focus on your self-care?

WTF is "self-care"?
Posted by furrydogs
USA
Member since Oct 2007
448 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:15 pm to
This might be a crap shoot but might be something worth pursuing for the short term.

About a month ago Steamboat Springs had a job fair for the post office and two people showed up. The benefits are amazing and the workload won't be much. They can't find anybody because housing is so expensive....But, if you're willing to do the college thing over again and have some roommates, it could be done. While you're schlepping for USPS start your networking and eventually something will click. In the meantime, get a ski pass, start mountain biking and maybe you'll find your happiness in the outdoors.
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67160 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:15 pm to
quote:

You're a lawyer, did you not know when you worked so hard to get that law degree and pass the bar that you wouldn't get 3 days off a week


I just wanted to find a happy medium between 40 hrs/wk and 91 hrs/wk paired with some stability of knowing what time to be at work every day and what state I would be working in for the forseeable future.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
6540 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:16 pm to
This is going to sound ridiculous, but maybe try zoning out on some House Hunters International. You hear people that have sometimes weird careers that you've never heard of, which might get your mind running. A chick I dated got a job hunting down fake Cajun "antiques" with the state. Who even knew that existed?

Working 75 hours a week is a problem you should have addressed earlier. Easier said than done, but "Do you want X on Thursday and Y on Monday, because both X and Y are not happening by Thursday," conversations you should be old enough to know how to have by now. I have been protected since I've been in consulting, because if you make me work, I'm charging someone for it. You mis-manage my hours, project profitability decreases, and the project boss is the one that gets beat over the head.

It sounds like you've had horrible bosses more than anything else. Every chick I've known that worked at a title company with a lawyer for a boss was usually drunk not soon after 4pm.

Your advantage now is that you should know how to ask the questions about work life balance before you hire on somewhere. But start interviewing to at least get the practice in.

To narrow things down, probably focus on Atlanta, Houston, and DFW. None of them is perfect. Houston is probably the least diverse in terms of clientele, with most of the money coming from Energy/Chem and Medical. With how many millions of people live in those three areas, you also have easy escapes to new companies.
Posted by SixthAndBarone
Member since Jan 2019
8269 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:18 pm to
quote:

Before changing careers I suggest leaving LA. There just isn't enough opportunity there


You don’t think there’s any opportunity in Louisiana for construction and lawyers? Really?
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67160 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:19 pm to
quote:

WTF is "self-care"?


When I was working 13 14's, I was struggling to have enough time to get more than 5 hrs of sleep per night. I wasn't able to cook for myself, I couldn't exercise, I couldn't see my friends, I barely had time to wash my clothes. It was just overwhelming. Basically, even though I was making money hand over fist, I had no time for anything except work, not even time to take care of my household enough to go to work.

When I worked demanding law jobs, the hours weren't quite as bad as 13 14's (that means you work 14 hours a day with one Sunday off every two weeks), but the pay was WAY worse. I was frequently working 70+ hours and making less than I did working 4 10's years before.
Posted by yccsmf
Member since Apr 2013
529 posts
Posted on 6/13/23 at 4:20 pm to
You’re a little older than my son, but in a similar situation. He would like to play music for a living but knows that’s improbable. He has had 2 jobs that he doesn’t like but doesn’t know what he wants to do that makes enough money and affords him the time to work on music. He plays in a local band but it isn’t the music he would like to play. I have encouraged him to move to a city with a known music scene and give his dream a shot while he is young and single. I guess my advice to you is to do the same. Find a mindless job and meet some other musicians and have fun for a year and see where that takes you. You can always go back to “making a living”, it’s not like all of your work experience and education/qualifications are going to go away. I know it’s cliche but you’re only going to get one chance at life and it goes by quickly, especially if you have regrets. Don’t stay in an unhappy situation!
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