re: Anyone experience douchey coaches in youth rec leagues?

If you want your kid to play more, then invest the time in him and practice together. Having expectations of playing time when your kid is admittedly the 6th or 7th guy is impractical. I agree that rec ball is about developing skills but it's also about developing your kid's mentality and life isn't about equal playing time. There is no better time than now to learn that hard work pays off. Quit calling the coach to complain and get out there to help your kid better, if that's what he wants.

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All the coaches happen to be Dads of players who also happen to be the 1st or 2nd best player on each respective team Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.

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Ummm, I’m almost 60, and this has been the case in rec leagues for my whole life.

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I had a 30 minute phone call with our coach about it, and how the kids not getting are being screwed out of being able to develop. Practice is not enough, you have to learn thru mistakes in game situations. He basically admits he is in the wrong but gets caught up in the “competition” of it in the game.

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Huge Karen move.

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Am I being the douche here?

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Absolutely. I suggest that YOU go coach these kids for a while and get a taste. I can guarantee you that no matter how you play it, you’re going to have parents on your arse.

Once you’re on a school team it’s not the coaches job to develop. It’s more to put the best players on the court to win the game. Development happens outside of the games. If your son is the worst player on the team I’m assuming he doesn’t work in his on? Do you help train him? Does he do privates to get better?

You don’t want to see the glaring problem… it’s you. You choose to not make sure your son is prepared to properly help the team and in turn blame another man for not developing your son.

Sounds like he’s getting the proper playing time if he isn’t one of the best on the team. You need to work on his development on days off and in offseason and stop blaming other men for your short fall.

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I guess I take issue with this philosophy, at the younger development level.

How is it helping the kids outside the top 5 develop by not playing in those competitive situations

Again, this is rec level and developmental

I get that if it’s travel/aau

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I understand your stance but the point of any athletic game is to try to win. You say how is it fair to the kids that aren't as good? I say, how is it fair to the kids that ARE good to have to lose so little Johnny can figure things out.

You also aren't at practice. Maybe your son goofs off the entire time? WHy should he or other goof offs get rewarded with PT? Maybe thats not the case but I find that it often is the case.

Did you put up a goal at your house ? Do you work with your OWN kid on the fundamentals ? Have you ever coached 10 year olds in a team sport ? It’s difficult to organize and run a practice with 10 year olds in here all, let alone a team where 30% or more have little athletic ability or knowledge of the fundamentals. It’s difficult to put these same kids in a game when the other team has a competitive advantage. You do a disservice to the kid to put him in a situation where he is clearly overmatched. It creates frustration , performance anxiety, and over disinterest. How about spend time working with YOUR kid or paying a trainer to do so. If you work with them in a positive manner it will strengthen your relationship with them.

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Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.

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At 10 years old I'd say this is a problem. With 8-9 kids on the team, even the best players should sit a quarter minimum.

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Bench players 6 thru 9 play a quarter or two quarters at most. Often in short stretches where they don’t have enough time to get comfortable.

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A quarter (25% of the game) or two quarters (50% of the game) is a big difference. For the bottom 4 players on a 9-player team, I'd fall somewhere in between. At some point it becomes a math problem. If you go 50% of the game for players 6-9 with a 9-man roster, it's essentially equal playing time. Which is fine if the league dictates it, but there are some drawbacks. For one, you can't reward a kid for hustling in practice with more playing time. Or for being a good teammate or being coachable. That is how I'd rank my 1-9 for playing time, rather than purely on talent level. Talent of course becomes more of a factor for playing time as they hit age 12 or 13.

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Bench players 6 thru 9 play a quarter or two quarters at most. Often in short stretches

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10 year old level school rec team, that is very clearly laid out to be for the purposes of developmental and instructional.

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I'm confused by "school rec team". Is this a purely recreational league like through the local parks and rec department, or a school team?

Almost all pure rec teams have playing requirements where every player is required to play X-amount. If that's the case and the coach isn't doing that, then yeah let the league manager know.

If that requirement does not exist, or if this is a school team with no play limits at all, then I'm not sure what there is to complain about. I mean I get it that you want your son playing more and not riding the bench, but it sounds liek the guy is mostly just being a turd but not actually breaking any rules.

If you're wanting your kid to play more, he needs to put in the work to earn it. You're trying to set him up for life here.

If he isn't good enough, then he isn't good enough. Doesn't mean the coach should be a douche about it, but you need to teach your son if he wants to play more, then he needs to practice on his own time. Which means you need to be practicing and teaching him.

If the issue is he wants more PT, that's what you do. Not teach him that crying about minute allotment is the way to get what he wants.

If the issue is you want him to get more PT because you're paying for this, then you just either need to accept that he isn't good enough to deserve it, or teach him the drills and discipline he needs to earn it.

Fifth grade is old enough to introduce your son to the concept of a meritocracy.

If you want him to get better, get your fat arse out there and work with him. It’s not the coach’s job to ensure he gets better enough to warrant more playing time.

You’re being a douche.

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Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.

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If the kid is actually the best and there is no other kid capable of playing PG, this is reasonable.