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re: Anyone else struggle with the decision for kids/no kids?
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:17 am to Rust Cohle
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:17 am to Rust Cohle
quote:
There is only a very very small percentage of people who say that they regret having children.
Well, because that's kinda fricked up to say
OP, we've always said that we want children (or maybe one), but it's no rush. I'm 30 and my wife is 27, we'll probably start trying in the next couple years. Don't rush it if you aren't ready, enjoy being married for a few years.
0
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:20 am to IT_Dawg
quote:
If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it
My first thought. You need to be ALL in, this means you could have a kid with a deformation, special needs, to just a normal kid. If you don't think you could handle it, wait a couple years and see if that desire is still there.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:21 am to IT_Dawg
quote:
If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:28 am to JinFL
I always thought I wanted kids til I got to the point of actually following through with it and questioned it a lot. Definitely glad I did it and have my little girl now, questioning if I want more or just call it at 1. I think the wife is done at 1 though.
Depends on how much morality you have, you can get pretty good genetic testing now and utilize abortion.
quote:
You need to be ALL in, this means you could have a kid with a deformation, special needs, to just a normal kid.
Depends on how much morality you have, you can get pretty good genetic testing now and utilize abortion.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:31 am to noonan
quote:
I tell people it's like having that friend that is just nonstop fun. There's always something going on and you enjoy every second of it, but when they leave you just sit back and feel so good to just relax
That's pretty good.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:33 am to Tigerfan56
I've traveled a good bit and no trip has come close to the emotional impact as having a child.
seems so trivial now.
As others have said, 28 is young. Had my first at 34.
quote:
More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing
seems so trivial now.
As others have said, 28 is young. Had my first at 34.
This post was edited on 4/11/18 at 8:37 am
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:37 am to Tigerfan56
Seems like something you don't do unless both are 100% committed.
Personally speaking, if I wanted kids(I do) I wouldn't even marry someone unless I knew that they wanted kids. I don't know why people get married if they haven't figured that out.
Personally speaking, if I wanted kids(I do) I wouldn't even marry someone unless I knew that they wanted kids. I don't know why people get married if they haven't figured that out.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:47 am to Goldrush25
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:50 am to Goldrush25
quote:
I don't know why people get married if they haven't figured that out.
I always had said I wanted kids, so did my husband when we were just dating.
Not that unusual to question that for a bit after you get married. Before you get married it is real easy to say "of course I want kids one day". Then you get married and realize that "one day" is now a reality.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:51 am to Tigerfan56
Wait until your 30s.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:53 am to 257WBY
quote:
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.
I really hate dumb fricking statements like this
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:10 am to Tigerfan56
We waited. My wife wanted to finish residency & fellowship. We traveled a ton, expanded our careers, and had a blast doing it all. We are expecting our first next month. We are both 33/34. I see no problem with taking a little time for yourselves.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:12 am to 257WBY
quote:
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.
In that case, this dead state I've been in hasn't been too bad.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:15 am to Tigerfan56
We are in the same boat as you. We are both 29 and get married next month. We both want kids, but know we don't right now. We both know that we are kind of under the gun due to our age, but everytime we go out for cocktails or a trip we both look at each other and say, "thank God we don't have kids right now."
We are both waiting for that moment where we feel like kids is what we want right now, but no idea when that'll come or if it will in time.
We are both waiting for that moment where we feel like kids is what we want right now, but no idea when that'll come or if it will in time.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:18 am to Tigerfan56
Just think if your parents had taken more efficient methods of birth control...aren't you glad you're here? Have kids, dude. Most of the older folks I know that don't have any or really lonely. Sure, they have time to do things they want to do, but isn't life about sharing moments with those you love?
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:21 am to lsunurse
quote:
I really hate dumb fricking statements like this
I understand why you're sensitive about this topic, but you shouldn't let it get to you.
Kids are a life changing experience. It's understandable why someone with kids would say what he said. It's not true for the masses, but it could be for him.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:29 am to BrohemAlem11
quote:
but everytime we go out for cocktails or a trip we both look at each other and say, "thank God we don't have kids right now."
I know what you're saying, but the moment you have kids, you'll miss them halfway into a night of cocktails or by dinner on the first day of your trip.
Your life simply pivots and your priorities change in an instant. You replace the cocktails on a whim with chocolate milk and donut holes on Saturday mornings. Your trip to Paris becomes your child's first trip to the beach.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:32 am to lsunurse
quote:You will find very few parents who will agree with you, because it isn't dumb at all.
quote:
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.
I really hate dumb fricking statements like this
I doubt seriously you will ever find a good parent who will agree with your sentiment. Parenting sometimes is hard work, but it's the best thing I've ever done or will do.
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:34 am to llfshoals
It’s a pretty dumb blanket statement though.
Some hoodrat with 6 different baby daddies is living a better life than me? Doubt it
Some hoodrat with 6 different baby daddies is living a better life than me? Doubt it
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