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re: Anyone else struggle with the decision for kids/no kids?

Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:17 am to
Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
37483 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:17 am to
quote:

There is only a very very small percentage of people who say that they regret having children.

Well, because that's kinda fricked up to say

OP, we've always said that we want children (or maybe one), but it's no rush. I'm 30 and my wife is 27, we'll probably start trying in the next couple years. Don't rush it if you aren't ready, enjoy being married for a few years.
Posted by JinFL
Duuuval
Member since Oct 2004
4517 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:20 am to
quote:

If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it


My first thought. You need to be ALL in, this means you could have a kid with a deformation, special needs, to just a normal kid. If you don't think you could handle it, wait a couple years and see if that desire is still there.
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
76781 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:21 am to
quote:

If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it

Posted by Dam Guide
Member since Sep 2005
16797 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:28 am to
I always thought I wanted kids til I got to the point of actually following through with it and questioned it a lot. Definitely glad I did it and have my little girl now, questioning if I want more or just call it at 1. I think the wife is done at 1 though.

quote:

You need to be ALL in, this means you could have a kid with a deformation, special needs, to just a normal kid.


Depends on how much morality you have, you can get pretty good genetic testing now and utilize abortion.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:31 am to
quote:


I tell people it's like having that friend that is just nonstop fun. There's always something going on and you enjoy every second of it, but when they leave you just sit back and feel so good to just relax


That's pretty good.
Posted by skullhawk
My house
Member since Nov 2007
27996 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:33 am to
I've traveled a good bit and no trip has come close to the emotional impact as having a child.

quote:

More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing


seems so trivial now.

As others have said, 28 is young. Had my first at 34.
This post was edited on 4/11/18 at 8:37 am
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33964 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:37 am to
Seems like something you don't do unless both are 100% committed.

Personally speaking, if I wanted kids(I do) I wouldn't even marry someone unless I knew that they wanted kids. I don't know why people get married if they haven't figured that out.
Posted by 257WBY
Member since Feb 2014
8561 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:47 am to
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:50 am to
quote:

I don't know why people get married if they haven't figured that out.




I always had said I wanted kids, so did my husband when we were just dating.


Not that unusual to question that for a bit after you get married. Before you get married it is real easy to say "of course I want kids one day". Then you get married and realize that "one day" is now a reality.
Posted by colorchangintiger
Dan Carlin
Member since Nov 2005
30979 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:51 am to
Wait until your 30s.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 8:53 am to
quote:

You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.




I really hate dumb fricking statements like this
Posted by TheWiz
Third World, LA
Member since Aug 2007
11893 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:10 am to
We waited. My wife wanted to finish residency & fellowship. We traveled a ton, expanded our careers, and had a blast doing it all. We are expecting our first next month. We are both 33/34. I see no problem with taking a little time for yourselves.
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33964 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:12 am to
quote:

You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.


In that case, this dead state I've been in hasn't been too bad.
Posted by MusclesofBrussels
Member since Dec 2015
5034 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:13 am to
Kids are for losers
Posted by BrohemAlem11
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
13923 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:15 am to
We are in the same boat as you. We are both 29 and get married next month. We both want kids, but know we don't right now. We both know that we are kind of under the gun due to our age, but everytime we go out for cocktails or a trip we both look at each other and say, "thank God we don't have kids right now."

We are both waiting for that moment where we feel like kids is what we want right now, but no idea when that'll come or if it will in time.
Posted by Lutcher Lad
South of the Mason-Dixon Line
Member since Sep 2009
7833 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:18 am to
Just think if your parents had taken more efficient methods of birth control...aren't you glad you're here? Have kids, dude. Most of the older folks I know that don't have any or really lonely. Sure, they have time to do things they want to do, but isn't life about sharing moments with those you love?
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:21 am to
quote:



I really hate dumb fricking statements like this


I understand why you're sensitive about this topic, but you shouldn't let it get to you.

Kids are a life changing experience. It's understandable why someone with kids would say what he said. It's not true for the masses, but it could be for him.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:29 am to
quote:

but everytime we go out for cocktails or a trip we both look at each other and say, "thank God we don't have kids right now."



I know what you're saying, but the moment you have kids, you'll miss them halfway into a night of cocktails or by dinner on the first day of your trip.

Your life simply pivots and your priorities change in an instant. You replace the cocktails on a whim with chocolate milk and donut holes on Saturday mornings. Your trip to Paris becomes your child's first trip to the beach.
Posted by llfshoals
Member since Nov 2010
21035 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:32 am to
quote:

quote:
You haven’t really lived until you’ve had kids.



I really hate dumb fricking statements like this
You will find very few parents who will agree with you, because it isn't dumb at all.

I doubt seriously you will ever find a good parent who will agree with your sentiment. Parenting sometimes is hard work, but it's the best thing I've ever done or will do.
Posted by TH03
Mogadishu
Member since Dec 2008
172004 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 9:34 am to
It’s a pretty dumb blanket statement though.

Some hoodrat with 6 different baby daddies is living a better life than me? Doubt it
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