Jump to page
Page 1 2 3 4 5 ... 10
Started By
Message
locked post

Anyone else struggle with the decision for kids/no kids?

Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:57 pm
Posted by Tigerfan56
Member since May 2010
10526 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:57 pm
Wife and I will turn 28 this year. We were married last year and the plan has always been 2ish years of marriage before kids (if any kids at all).

We both are about as on the fence as possible as to wether or not we want kids. I think we will be happy either way we go, but nonetheless it's still a decision we will have to make soon.

The pros for us are more time for ourselves personally and professionally. More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing.

The cons are- our parents would be disappointed (they would get over it), biggest con to me is I worry about regretting it down the road. Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with- what if we regret it? Theres no way to tell how we will feel that far down the road, obviously it's just fear.

Any OT'ers struggle with this? Seems like most people are adament one way or the other about kids or no kids.
Posted by IT_Dawg
Georgia
Member since Oct 2012
26817 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to
If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm
Posted by tigerbait121
Member since Sep 2013
1230 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to
Who will wipe your butt when you are old?
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53837 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to
I accidentally knocked up my wife a year after we got married. Struggle solved
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
99042 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to
No

My wife was 8 months pregnant on our 1st anniversary
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to
quote:

The cons are- our parents would be disappointed (they would get over it), biggest con to me is I worry about regretting it down the road. Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with- what if we regret it? Theres no way to tell how we will feel that far down the road, obviously it's just fear.


I know people who are child/grandchild-less that are happy, and I know plenty that couldn't live without their grandchildren.

I know that doesn't help, but whatever.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
71840 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to
If you're on the fence at 28, you'll be glad to have them even if you do it now, but you'll be on the side of yes in a few years anyway.

If truly on the fence, you'll think it was ridiculous that you ever considered not having them once you do.
Posted by dkreller
Laffy
Member since Jan 2009
34300 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to
I initially didn’t want kids but now I have a stepdaughter and a three y/o son with one on the way and I now can’t imagine not having any.
Posted by LZ83
La
Member since Sep 2016
17446 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to
I have one and she is awesome. I’m on the fence about #2. Mine now is almost 5 and we are starting to get to do more together and really have fun times. I’m 34 and having another one doesn’t appease me much. I really like where the 3 of us are now.
Starting over with diapers and formula and stuff is no fun.
Posted by jdavid1
Member since Jan 2014
2679 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to
quote:

More money to travel and explore the world.


Who better to travel the world with than your wife and kids.

quote:

Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with


This would kill me.


Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to
quote:

The pros for us are more time for ourselves personally and professionally. More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing.


FWIW, you can still do this. It's not as easy, obviously, but it can still be done. You can also do this when they're out of the house.

You can't go back and have kids.

That's not necessarily a reason to have kids, but just giving you some perspective.
Posted by St Augustine
The Pauper of the Surf
Member since Mar 2006
72471 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to
quote:

Wife and I will turn 28 this year. We were married last year and the plan has always been 2ish years of marriage before kids (if any kids


What’s the rush? I was mid 20s when we got married and we had our first about 5 years after just before turning 32( 30 for her). Had 3 from 32-36 and couldn’t be happier. I didn’t think I wanted one until I was about 30.

In the five years before kids we traveled, paid off 90k+ in student loans and bought a small house right before our first.

Kids were absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened. It’s work, a lot of work but there is nothing in the world like the love your kids will show you. We went to New Zealand, the South Pacific , many Hawaiian island, central and South America....all that shite pales in comparison to being a dad.

quote:

If truly on the fence, you'll think it was ridiculous that you ever considered not having them once you do.


Also this.
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm
Posted by TDsngumbo
Member since Oct 2011
51624 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:02 pm to
You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.

Being a parent is the greatest gift you will ever be handed. If you and your wife are able to conceive then count your blessings and embrace it.
Posted by Hogwarts
Arkansas, USA
Member since Sep 2015
18402 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm to
Knocked my wife up after being married for 4 months, so the decision solved itself.
Posted by Geauxtiga
No man's land
Member since Jan 2008
34401 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm to
quote:

You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.
This 1,000 times.
Posted by liz18lsu
Member since Feb 2009
18137 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:06 pm to
I never struggled, never wanted them.
Posted by LuckyTiger
Top 1% On Onlyfans
Member since Dec 2008
52963 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:06 pm to
My sister and bro in law had their first baby two months ago. Their lives are miserable. Every hour revolves around the baby. They sleep just a couple hours a night. They never go anywhere. They are stressed. They get frustrated and attack each other. They’re constantly exhausted 24/7. They deal with messy poop all day. They’re constantly dealing with doctors, feeding, etc. Whenever they do leave the house to visit family it’s like they are going on an Everest expedition with all the crap they carry. Baby cries all night. Won’t get on sleep schedule. Baby shot pee into my bro in law’s eye. Sister got shite on her face. Dueling mother in laws.

But they say they love it.

I’m Hugh Grant in About A Boy:



Posted by patnuh
South LA
Member since Sep 2005
7442 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:09 pm to
My wife had our kid at 41. You have time...have fun bc once the kid comes, game's over.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91874 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:11 pm to
quote:

If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it


I tend to disagree. If you're on the fence, go for it.

The only people who likely better off without kids are the people that KNOW they don't want kids. There is nothing wrong with that, but someone on the fence will regret not having them IMO.
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:13 pm to
quote:

You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.


Real talk right here.

My wife and I got married when I was 20. 8 months later she was pregnant with our oldest.

We absolutely weren’t “ready”. Our lives changed pretty drastically after he was born.

We regret absolutely nothing
Jump to page
Page 1 2 3 4 5 ... 10
Jump to page
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 10Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram