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Message

Anyone else struggle with the decision for kids/no kids?
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:57 pm
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:57 pm
Wife and I will turn 28 this year. We were married last year and the plan has always been 2ish years of marriage before kids (if any kids at all).
We both are about as on the fence as possible as to wether or not we want kids. I think we will be happy either way we go, but nonetheless it's still a decision we will have to make soon.
The pros for us are more time for ourselves personally and professionally. More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing.
The cons are- our parents would be disappointed (they would get over it), biggest con to me is I worry about regretting it down the road. Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with- what if we regret it? Theres no way to tell how we will feel that far down the road, obviously it's just fear.
Any OT'ers struggle with this? Seems like most people are adament one way or the other about kids or no kids.
We both are about as on the fence as possible as to wether or not we want kids. I think we will be happy either way we go, but nonetheless it's still a decision we will have to make soon.
The pros for us are more time for ourselves personally and professionally. More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing.
The cons are- our parents would be disappointed (they would get over it), biggest con to me is I worry about regretting it down the road. Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with- what if we regret it? Theres no way to tell how we will feel that far down the road, obviously it's just fear.
Any OT'ers struggle with this? Seems like most people are adament one way or the other about kids or no kids.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to Tigerfan56
If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to Tigerfan56
Who will wipe your butt when you are old?
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to Tigerfan56
I accidentally knocked up my wife a year after we got married. Struggle solved 
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to Tigerfan56
No
My wife was 8 months pregnant on our 1st anniversary
My wife was 8 months pregnant on our 1st anniversary
Posted on 4/10/18 at 5:58 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
The cons are- our parents would be disappointed (they would get over it), biggest con to me is I worry about regretting it down the road. Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with- what if we regret it? Theres no way to tell how we will feel that far down the road, obviously it's just fear.
I know people who are child/grandchild-less that are happy, and I know plenty that couldn't live without their grandchildren.
I know that doesn't help, but whatever.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to Tigerfan56
If you're on the fence at 28, you'll be glad to have them even if you do it now, but you'll be on the side of yes in a few years anyway.
If truly on the fence, you'll think it was ridiculous that you ever considered not having them once you do.
If truly on the fence, you'll think it was ridiculous that you ever considered not having them once you do.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to Tigerfan56
I initially didn’t want kids but now I have a stepdaughter and a three y/o son with one on the way and I now can’t imagine not having any.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:00 pm to Tigerfan56
I have one and she is awesome. I’m on the fence about #2. Mine now is almost 5 and we are starting to get to do more together and really have fun times. I’m 34 and having another one doesn’t appease me much. I really like where the 3 of us are now.
Starting over with diapers and formula and stuff is no fun.
Starting over with diapers and formula and stuff is no fun.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
More money to travel and explore the world.
Who better to travel the world with than your wife and kids.
quote:
Being 50-60+ and retired, with no kids or grandkids to spend our time with
This would kill me.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
The pros for us are more time for ourselves personally and professionally. More money to travel and explore the world. The freedom is very appealing.
FWIW, you can still do this. It's not as easy, obviously, but it can still be done. You can also do this when they're out of the house.
You can't go back and have kids.
That's not necessarily a reason to have kids, but just giving you some perspective.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:01 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
Wife and I will turn 28 this year. We were married last year and the plan has always been 2ish years of marriage before kids (if any kids
What’s the rush? I was mid 20s when we got married and we had our first about 5 years after just before turning 32( 30 for her). Had 3 from 32-36 and couldn’t be happier. I didn’t think I wanted one until I was about 30.
In the five years before kids we traveled, paid off 90k+ in student loans and bought a small house right before our first.
Kids were absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened. It’s work, a lot of work but there is nothing in the world like the love your kids will show you. We went to New Zealand, the South Pacific , many Hawaiian island, central and South America....all that shite pales in comparison to being a dad.
quote:
If truly on the fence, you'll think it was ridiculous that you ever considered not having them once you do.
Also this.
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:02 pm to Tigerfan56
You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.
Being a parent is the greatest gift you will ever be handed. If you and your wife are able to conceive then count your blessings and embrace it.
Being a parent is the greatest gift you will ever be handed. If you and your wife are able to conceive then count your blessings and embrace it.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm to Tigerfan56
Knocked my wife up after being married for 4 months, so the decision solved itself.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:05 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:This 1,000 times.
You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:06 pm to Tigerfan56
I never struggled, never wanted them.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:06 pm to Tigerfan56
My sister and bro in law had their first baby two months ago. Their lives are miserable. Every hour revolves around the baby. They sleep just a couple hours a night. They never go anywhere. They are stressed. They get frustrated and attack each other. They’re constantly exhausted 24/7. They deal with messy poop all day. They’re constantly dealing with doctors, feeding, etc. Whenever they do leave the house to visit family it’s like they are going on an Everest expedition with all the crap they carry. Baby cries all night. Won’t get on sleep schedule. Baby shot pee into my bro in law’s eye. Sister got shite on her face. Dueling mother in laws.
But they say they love it.
I’m Hugh Grant in About A Boy:
But they say they love it.
I’m Hugh Grant in About A Boy:
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:09 pm to Tigerfan56
My wife had our kid at 41. You have time...have fun bc once the kid comes, game's over.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:11 pm to IT_Dawg
quote:
If you’re struggling with it....Don’t do it
I tend to disagree. If you're on the fence, go for it.
The only people who likely better off without kids are the people that KNOW they don't want kids. There is nothing wrong with that, but someone on the fence will regret not having them IMO.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 6:13 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
You will never be ready! Just go for it. You will never regret being a parent. Regardless of how unprepared you feel now, the first time you hold that miracle you will feel like God gave you life specifically to be his/her dad.
Real talk right here.
My wife and I got married when I was 20. 8 months later she was pregnant with our oldest.
We absolutely weren’t “ready”. Our lives changed pretty drastically after he was born.
We regret absolutely nothing
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