re: About 5 months in, still unsure about relationship

quote:

---

I guess someone who I am wildly in love with.

But I know that life and love isn't always like that, and sometimes great relationships don't even require that aspect.

---

After 5 months, do you believe you will fall madly in love with this girl? You’re speculating on something that may or may not happen. However, if you feel as though vesting the time and effort into this relationship that will allow for love to develop, only you can truly answer that question. If not, you’re going to have a classic case of the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ves” with all the potential ladies out there.

You don't love her. If you did you wouldn't want to do single things with your single friends.

quote:

---

And lately I have just have started to miss being single, and flirting, and checking other woman out, and having complete freedom.

---

quote:

---

My best bud just got divorced, and I see him doing whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants

---

It sounds like you may be thinking the grass is greener.

I was in a very similar situation. I stuck with it, and as time went on, I started to like her more and more.

Unfortunately we wound up splitting (her decision), and I think often about how I wish I had put more effort and cared more in the earlier parts of our relationship.

You do what you think is best for you, but I personally would stick it out for a bit to see if things change. You really don't have much to lose by doing so.

I'd also look into a mild anti-depressant. I was feeling very lethargic about my relationship (similar to yours), so my doctor put me on some medication. It made a world of difference. Maybe something to look into.

quote:

---

This sounds like the kind of thing you are going to frick up. You're going to break up with what sounds like a great girl that actually cares about you because you don't feel this mythical passion. Here's whats going to happen: You're going to break up with her. She will be devastated but because she actually sounds like a good catch, she will find someone new and eventually make that dude a great wife. You will date some sluts, find passion with a total nutjob that will eventually make you miserable... And then pine for the girl that was actually a good person and good girlfriend for the rest of your life. Good luck.

---

I second this opinion!

At no point in your rambling did you say that you love or even care for this woman. Five months is easily enough time to decide that, and you already have, hence this thread.

Let her the frick go.

quote:

---

No, did you read somewhere in my post that it was one of my main gripes?

---

It is enough of a gripe that you listed it...

My god, this thread hits close to home. I had basically the exact same relationship with a girl I loved in every way I could concieve, I was just never satisfied.

We started out white-hot but a few months in I started to lose that physical attraction. Everything else was great, got along great, never fought, made eachother laugh. She was pretty but I had just gotten out of a very passionate relationship with an IRL 10 and this girl just didn't physically compare.

I too am an over-thinker, it's the sole reason I don't sleep but 2 hours a night. We went through the motions for 5 years, we became eachother's family and were fairly content.

But still, the whole time I had that feeling in the back of my mind that I just wasn't totally satisfied. Turns out she did too later on, because she could read it on me. We stayed together probably 2 years too long out of convenience.

The eventual breakup and resulting move-out were horrible for both parties. Like I said, by that point we had become eachother's family and we were used to the other always being there for 5 years. Add that feeling of loneliness on top of a massive amount of resent for the one that used to be your best friend and it was miserable.

I eventually had to change my whole life, get out of the state and move 10 hours away to leave it behind. It was the hardest time of my life even though I knew it had to happen.

Don't waste hers and your time like I did. I'm 32 now and those 5 years in our prime we can never get back. I don't regret the relationship itself, but I severely regret the time we invested when I knew she wasn't the one a few months in.

I found greener pastures and am happy things turned out okay for both of us, but you may not be so lucky if you wait too long. Rip off the band-aid.

A lot of good advice in this thread and some terrible. If she puts your happiness first before herself, put her happiness first before yourself. Give it through the Holidays and see where your mind is at then. Good luck.

It’s hard to find a woman who cares more about you than herself. That is a rare quality. Rare enough that you can put up with some shite like her stupid friend.

If it were me, I’d go all-in and try and reciprocate that type of care before you end it. Sometimes we can put up emotional walls (even subconsciously) for any number of reasons and when we do that it prevents us from returning the same type of love we’re getting.

If you try that and you’re still not feeling it, at least you know you put in a quality effort with a quality person.

If that doesn’t work split a ten strip and listen to 3/29/90 and see what happens. If she doesn’t like Brent then you should leave her alone and spun.