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Started By
Message
re: Unfortunately bad news
Posted on 11/11/18 at 5:11 pm to Spec1
Posted on 11/11/18 at 5:11 pm to Spec1
quote:
11 year old child
Put this child above all the petty arguments between you. My parents got divorced when I was very young but I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have parents who hate each other and talk crap about each other to the kids. They worked as a team especially when it came to finances when I was growing up and when I was in college.
0
Posted on 11/11/18 at 5:47 pm to KillTheGophers
Sounds like a way to run up massive legal fees and make life terrible for everyone.
Posted on 11/11/18 at 6:42 pm to lynxcat
quote:
Sounds like a way to run up massive legal fees and make life terrible for everyone.
Seems like a recipe for a miserable post divorce life for all involved.
Posted on 11/12/18 at 5:56 am to KillTheGophers
You can win custody in Louisiana (Baton Rouge specifically). I have had full custody of my daughters since my divorce. Helps that she didn’t show up in court but I was gonna get them anyways.
Keep a diary of every time she doesn’t take them, every time she fails to do something she was supposed to. Document adultry, drinking, drugs, abuse, even sleeping habits if it helps your case.
Keep a diary of every time she doesn’t take them, every time she fails to do something she was supposed to. Document adultry, drinking, drugs, abuse, even sleeping habits if it helps your case.
Posted on 11/12/18 at 7:21 am to cgrand
quote:
4) she got primary custody of our 3 yr old and I got Wednesday’s and every other weekend
I could not imagine this.
Posted on 11/12/18 at 7:29 am to bawbarn
quote:
I could not imagine this.
Just wait until you pick your daughter up and she smells like the cologne your ex wife's new boy friend wears. That shite will rip your guts out.
Posted on 11/12/18 at 9:58 am to Chuker
quote:
That shite will rip your guts out.
indeed
divorce means sacrifice...you sacrifice all else in favor of that child, and you do everything you can to keep her emotionally centered and stable.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 7:00 am to KillTheGophers
quote:
She is the enemy now and you must treat her as such. Get an attorney that will seek to destroy her will in court.
She already has the upper hand on you in Louisiana - DO NOT GIVE UP ANY CUSTODY of your child until the judge forces you to do it.
Her game plan will be to get the child, as much of the assets as possible and as much from you on the 1st and 15th each month until that child is 18.
Exploit any faults that she has - drug use, adulatory, mental health issues, workplace stability, etc.
Odds are she has another man telling her what moves to make to get every possible penny from you.
And never fall into the trap of “that was my wife” or “that is the mother of my child” or “I really loved her”. She will destroy you if you allow these thoughts to run through your head.
FIGHT for everything and settle for nothing less.
perfect example of the macro-level poisoning divorce lawyers have created in the minds of most
Posted on 11/13/18 at 8:51 am to Spec1
Try to divide assets before speaking to an attorney if you can do so. From here on out it is a business deal ONLY. Do your best to remain civil don't let emotions overtake common sense. 50/50 custody is a big help and not hard to get if that's what yall think is best. Try to agree on as much as possible before seeing an attorney if possible. Good luck, its gonna suck for a while but it gets better
Posted on 11/13/18 at 9:53 am to Spec1
Definitely work to protect yourself legally and financially. Remember that divorce is not meant to be a way to punish your soon to be ex, or to seek revenge. It is a way to divide up assets and childcare. Vindictive spouses that want to punish one another have the highest legal fees and the lowest satisfaction.
You need a competent lawyer to protect your interests. An aggressive lawyer is ok, but remember that often a "bulldog" lawyer does a disservice to the client by running up unnecessary fees and litigating issues that should be easily resolved. Fighting on every issue is rarely good for the client, though the lawyer will be happy.
You need a competent lawyer to protect your interests. An aggressive lawyer is ok, but remember that often a "bulldog" lawyer does a disservice to the client by running up unnecessary fees and litigating issues that should be easily resolved. Fighting on every issue is rarely good for the client, though the lawyer will be happy.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 1:44 pm to KillTheGophers
quote:
Exploit any faults that she has - drug use, adulatory, mental health issues, workplace stability, etc.
This because probably
quote:
Odds are she has another man telling her what moves to make to get every possible penny from you.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 1:58 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
example of the macro-level poisoning divorce lawyers have created
Can not be overstated.
Two friends just went through almost 2 years of bullshite 'negotiating' through their lawyers. Both attorneys consistently suggested requiring things that weren't even remotely reasonable to either party....
Fired their attorneys, worked it out with a mediator. Everyone can now move on.
Posted on 11/13/18 at 1:59 pm to KillTheGophers
quote:
She is the enemy now and you must treat her as such. Get an attorney that will seek to destroy her will in court.
She already has the upper hand on you in Louisiana - DO NOT GIVE UP ANY CUSTODY of your child until the judge forces you to do it.
Her game plan will be to get the child, as much of the assets as possible and as much from you on the 1st and 15th each month until that child is 18.
Exploit any faults that she has - drug use, adulatory, mental health issues, workplace stability, etc.
Odds are she has another man telling her what moves to make to get every possible penny from you.
And never fall into the trap of “that was my wife” or “that is the mother of my child” or “I really loved her”. She will destroy you if you allow these thoughts to run through your head.
FIGHT for everything and settle for nothing less.
Some people aren't trashy, they just don't want to be married anymore.
Sorry you got hosed by your ex wife though.
Posted on 11/14/18 at 1:28 pm to boosiebadazz
quote:
Don’t pay your lawyer $200/hour to argue about a $150 coffee table. If you and your wife both understand that principle then you can both save money in the long run.
+1
And no matter who is at fault, do not play the child against each other (even if she starts doing it). If the child tells you something about the mother (and it's not endangering the child), just nod your head then change the subject.
Posted on 11/14/18 at 4:04 pm to AUjim
quote:
worked it out with a mediator.
This is great advice.
Posted on 11/14/18 at 5:33 pm to AUjim
quote:
Can not be overstated. Two friends just went through almost 2 years of bullshite 'negotiating' through their lawyers. Both attorneys consistently suggested requiring things that weren't even remotely reasonable to either party.... Fired their attorneys, worked it out with a mediator. Everyone can now move on.
When a divorcing couple choses to let their attorneys fight it out, the only winners are the attorneys.
Posted on 11/14/18 at 6:28 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
perfect example of the macro-level poisoning divorce lawyers have created in the minds of most
Have you ever been through a divorce?
Posted on 11/14/18 at 6:28 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Some people aren't trashy, they just don't want to be married anymore.
And to you also: Ever been through a divorce?
Posted on 11/15/18 at 11:28 am to weagle99
quote:
Have you ever been through a divorce?
filed like 100 this year
took about $300k out of the local divorce economy by convincing people to not fight and be adults and work it out
happy to destroy that wealth transfer. it makes me feel good
Posted on 11/15/18 at 11:47 am to Spec1
Don't put anything in writing that could put you in a negative light. It will come back up during your hearings if so and whether you were going through an emotional time or not, they will hold it against you.
Good luck!
Good luck!
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