Bank Accounts

I know it’s a bit wordy, but appreciate any advice I can get

You hit the nail on the head there lol

The main issue is she doesn’t make as much as me. So she’s worried that if we do the joint account she won’t have much left for her other accounts, she said she’d just rather put her whole paycheck in the joint account instead of a %

When my wife and I got engaged, everything was still separate. We bought a house together. This is back in 2013.

At the time, I made more, she wrote me a check for half the Mortgage payment (full with PITI, even PMI). Honestly, I don’t completely recall what we did for utilities - probably some on her CC, some on mine.

Now married, we have joint checking and joint savings.

I'm in separate accounts with a joint account for household expenses.

Wife and I are in the same boat. We put all of our expenses in a spreadsheet to annualize our expenditures, then divided by 21 to get the monthly amounts. We then added our take home pay and used a weighted average to determine how much each should put in the joint account. At one point, I was making 65% of the take home; as a result, I was responsible for 65% of the expenses/savings.

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This whole my money vs. your money thing only breeds problems imho, but others feel differently.

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I agree that this can, but the theme I see more often is the wife/husband feeling ashamed to need to ask to spend XXX for something they wanted personally because all money went into a shared account. Then leading to resentment because they cant go buy that nice TM iron set that just went on sale

If you both make roughly the same and are both very involved with finances, maybe go for separate accounts if that's important to you.

I make a lot more than my wife does and she has zero interest in our finances. She probably couldn't tell you which bank we use.

Personally, I would recommend joint. I could see separate accounts leading to some trust issues, justified or not. Maybe not a great foot to lead off on in a new marriage. And as someone else said, I also would not advise keeping the mindset of your money vs. her money. It's yall's money now. GL

It really depends on you and her, imo.

My wife and I have seperate joint accounts so we can budget ourselves easier, but can see what is going on with the other.

She buys the groceries, stuff for the kids, etc and transfers me half the utilities, mortgage, etc.

Then I save money to invest, make household improvements, repairs, pay for vacations, etc.

It works for us cause she likes to shop and I like to save.

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Don’t let money get in the middle of your new life partner. Get that joint account. Then have your own too.

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This.

My wife is terrible with money. fricking awful.

So I have a second savings thru my credit union at work that I put money into every paycheck. So if something serious happens I know I’ve got cash on hand.

I love the woman. But dammit.

Just my opinion and opposite of some but Keep your shite seperate and continue to split bills.

If it isnt broke dont fix it.

There is zero reason for a joint account unless

1.you're both putting in for the downpayment on a house or something.
2. She stops working because of injury pregnancy raising kids etc.

I had a joint account with my first wife and she analyzed every purchase i ever made. You don't want to get into a situation where you can no longer spend the money you earn as you please. Thats a great way to breed anger and resentment.

I keep things seperate with 2nd wife. She has her money and i have mine. She buys stupid shite / household decorations we dont need all the time and I have probably avoided 100000 discussions or arguments because i dont care, thats her money she earned to spend as she pleases.

I mostly save nowadays but I will never accept someone telling me what to do with what I have earned ever again.

Joint accounts have worked for us. Every dime we spend or save/invest is for us not mine or hers. If anything, I think it kept both our spending down rather than having a me budget to blow (and increase with every raise).

Not a boomer or leveraged to the hilt. In fact, retired early at 45 and was able to do so on a single income since kids were born after 10 years of marriage.