Visual stimulation: is this an equal pull for men and women?

Sounds like your wife watches a lot of porno Bc you can’t satisfy her

Porn is to men as Hallmark movies are to women.

While I think men and women are generally wired a bit differently in that they enjoy different kinds of porn, I think the larger difference is cultural, though I don't think your wife is correct. I think it's less that culture teaches that men can't control themselves and more that culture shames women for their sex drive, at least historically. When you spend your formative years being told that having a strong sex drive makes you a slut/whore/etc, that's going to take a toll, even once those pressures have been removed.

Feel free to google it, but poll after poll have shown that women are vastly more likely than men to have feelings of shame/sadness/etc after sex/orgasm. Sure, some of them might have been disappointed by your performance, but I can't imagine you've had sex with all of them. Regardless, those same feelings are going to manifest in watching porn for most women.

Your wife is wrong, very wrong and study after study shows this. Women are more emotionally oriented when it comes to sex and men are more visual/physical oriented. This is why men have absolutely no issue sleeping with a wide range of women and women are more selective.


Yes, there are women who toss their bodies about with many different men, but those women are going far away from their natural instincts and they're usually emotionally wrecked.



I guess if you take the "humans are just unthinking animalistic beasts" view of gender differences you could say she's not totally wrong.

I just think real life shows us women are far more fickle about their sexual tastes.

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she says women struggle with porn just as much as men do

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A few, maybe. Hypersexuals. You don't marry those.

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to prove her wrong

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Your first, of many, mistakes in this story.

Why would you work so hard to prove your wife wrong?

What do you think that will accomplish?

You better get used to watching more porn.

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years of teaching in conservative churches have led men to believe that they are powerless to control their thoughts/ instincts over porn (or how women dress etc) and this is why 72% of people addicted to porn are men.

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She is attributing involuntary sexual response to decades of teaching? That's ridiculous. If indoctrination could shape male sexual preference then we would prefer fat single mothers.

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She says to believe that only men are visually stimulated would mean that God created men/ women differently

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Of course we are different. One can have one child at a time and invests time after pregnancy nursing. WTF. The differences in gestation and nursing alone mean men and women will have different sexual strategies.

It is true that women are highly motivated by appearance. They will preferentially seek out attractive men with muscles, height, good teeth, a full head of hair etc. Tinder selections by women show they tend to be even more discriminatory than men when it comes to rating men for their appearance (rating 80% of men below average) or swiping right (often on on between 1 and 10% of men). In this way the discriminatory nature of their mate selection makes sense for biological reasons.

But women also value social standing and affluence highly in men - things that men do not require to be interested in a woman. And women will happily have sex and even children with attractive alpha males but seek out financial support from reliable, less attractive, beta males who get the bills and responsibilities without the fun.

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i have a friend (woman) at work and we have talked about what porn we normally watch

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Have y’all fricked yet?

Your wife is being silly. Of course women aren't as visually stimulated, and God did create men and women differently.