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re: How Do You Deal With Death?
Posted on 5/25/20 at 8:37 am to Russ337
Posted on 5/25/20 at 8:37 am to Russ337
I have dealt with clinical OCD for the past 38 years. I don’t handle uncertainty very well. I question salvation for my friends and myself. Words in the Bible doesn’t squash the uncertainty of death and hell.
My parents are dead and two friends of mine recently committed suicide. It’s quite depressing not knowing why.
In my thirties, I was still eager to learn new things about meteorology. At 52, I’m just riding the waves instead. I really don’t find life interesting as I am still single and have no children.
Seeking therapy for the past nine months. Hoping to challenge some of these irrational core beliefs so that I can find peace.
My parents are dead and two friends of mine recently committed suicide. It’s quite depressing not knowing why.
In my thirties, I was still eager to learn new things about meteorology. At 52, I’m just riding the waves instead. I really don’t find life interesting as I am still single and have no children.
Seeking therapy for the past nine months. Hoping to challenge some of these irrational core beliefs so that I can find peace.
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Posted on 5/25/20 at 8:44 am to SaintlyTiger88
i don't like talking about loved ones who have died. i didn't like seeing them in a casket. i like to pretend it never happened.
Posted on 5/25/20 at 9:08 am to SaintlyTiger88
Yep see it as a part of life. I’ve seen a lot of folks die young and I feel like if it’s your day, it’s just your day. I also don’t feel like there’s an afterlife. I have no memories before my birth. Why would it be different after I die?
Posted on 5/25/20 at 9:14 am to SaintlyTiger88
Don't really give it much thought. I look at it as much a part of life as being born in the first place.
I lost my dad to a major heart attack when he was only 35 and as a young man I wanted to at least live to 36. Now at 67 I've outlived all of my father's side of the family as far as his siblings. He had 5 brothers of which 4 died before age 60 and only one to make it just past 60. His 2 sisters died of cancer before reaching 60.
So, I guess I'm living on borrowed time and making the most of it. The only thing I hope for is to not have to go through a long, debilitating illness that puts a burden on my loved ones. I would hate like hell to live 20 more years and be a virtual zombie suffering from something like dementia where I wouldn't remember anyone.
I lost my dad to a major heart attack when he was only 35 and as a young man I wanted to at least live to 36. Now at 67 I've outlived all of my father's side of the family as far as his siblings. He had 5 brothers of which 4 died before age 60 and only one to make it just past 60. His 2 sisters died of cancer before reaching 60.
So, I guess I'm living on borrowed time and making the most of it. The only thing I hope for is to not have to go through a long, debilitating illness that puts a burden on my loved ones. I would hate like hell to live 20 more years and be a virtual zombie suffering from something like dementia where I wouldn't remember anyone.
Posted on 5/25/20 at 9:20 am to BregmansWheelbarrow
quote:
I lost my dad at a very young age and I think it shut something off in my brain. I
Damn, I could have posted the very same thing. I've seen death early on in life when I saw my dad drop dead in front of me when I was 8 years old.
It seemed almost every year after that someone in our extended family that I knew well died in some way or another.
Go to the funerals, offer your condolences and get on with life.
I don't believe in any afterlife, so for me the concept of heaven or hell is off the table. I'm thinking you are no more, so there is no more.
Posted on 5/25/20 at 9:26 am to gumbo2176
I absolutely believe in an afterlife of some kind. Your consciousness, soul, whatever you want to call it, lives on. There’s some pretty compelling scientific research to back this up if the Bible isn’t your thing. I definitely think religion, science and philosophy all need to play a part in studying it.
This post was edited on 5/25/20 at 9:27 am
Posted on 5/25/20 at 9:46 am to SaintlyTiger88
I usually don’t cry much immediately-I feel numb. My mom died over a year ago, but she lived life so big and was so benevolant that she still feels alive to me. I feel like I handle it well, but her stuff is still boxed up in my house. So maybe not...
Posted on 5/25/20 at 10:06 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Sorry for your loss. My dad is 80 so each day is “bonus” time. As hard as he lived (working and partying) he should be dead already.
I do believe in heaven and hell I also believe in dealing with death by celebrating life.
I do believe in heaven and hell I also believe in dealing with death by celebrating life.
Posted on 5/25/20 at 10:26 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Ever gone to bed and woke up the next morning and down remember anything? No dreams, no waking up during the night, nothing? That blank period of time is basically what death is. No consciousness forever. So enjoy the time now and live life for yourself.
Posted on 5/25/20 at 11:11 pm to 225Tyga
Tyga, there is a quote by Edgar Allan Poe, let me see if I can remember it without looking it up... “Sleep...those little slices of death... how I loathe them”
Posted on 5/26/20 at 2:22 am to redstick13
quote:
I basically checked out of life for 3 months after losing my son last year. It was an incredibly trying time and I still think about it every day. You can’t imagine what it feels like to have to sit with a funeral director and plan your young child’s funeral.
I have lived this everyday for 47 yrs - My precious 3yr old left this life then. I've learned to weave the awful pain into my daily life (hard work). So sorry for your loss.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 2:30 am to ChenierauTigre
quote:
Now the exception to this is the death of a child. THAT is not supposed to happen. If I lost my child, I think I would just stop breathing.
Yes. However, that's not an option when you have another child.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 7:01 am to pfcTigah
My dad just got out the hospital and due to COVID they wrecked him something awful. He just sat there for 5 days and turned into a shell of himself. I have to face that he may never recover and the end is near. It is brutal to watch your dad go through this. On top of the heart issues he is having some dementia and anxiety that is making recovery extremely hard. This thread hits home very hard for me and my family right now.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 7:12 am to tigergirl10
quote:
quote:
very few family members deaths have impacted me so far
quote:
You’re very lucky.
Spoken by someone who doesn't know what it means to feel.. Broken. To see your mother lying there dead. To want to scream out or cry, or anything. Literally any act that a normal human would do/feel, and instead to feel nothing.
Stone. No reaction. No tears.
Just an overwhelming sense of emptiness where your very soul should reside.
People whispering that the tears will come later. The reaction will come later.
People saying you're handling it well.
Yeah... We're lucky.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 7:26 am to SaintlyTiger88
I thank God for the blessing they have been
I try to not to hold too tight while they are here
I believe I will be with them in the hereafter
I dust off best I can and move along
Don't look for closure, no such thing...prefer yearning
I try to not to hold too tight while they are here
I believe I will be with them in the hereafter
I dust off best I can and move along
Don't look for closure, no such thing...prefer yearning
This post was edited on 5/26/20 at 7:28 am
Posted on 5/26/20 at 7:33 am to wfallstiger
It really depends on how close I was to said person. As for myself , I have lived a good life so when my time comes I’m ready, plus I would hope that people would not mourn for to long and just get on with life.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 7:42 am to SaintlyTiger88
God is my comfort. I lost my father almost 6 years ago. We were as close as a father/son could be. When it happened my brother was seriously worried how I'd take it. I think about all the good times daily. My father would've never wanted us to sit around and mope about it. My mother has never fully gotten over it and never will until she dies. I understand as they were together 52 years. I know my father is in a better place than here with cancer.
This post was edited on 5/26/20 at 7:49 am
Posted on 5/26/20 at 8:08 am to BregmansWheelbarrow
quote:. Pretty much all
I lost my dad at a very young age and I think it shut something off in my brain. I’ve lost grandparents, close friends..including my best friend that I had known my entire life...and even a girlfriend and when I went to the funerals, people would seem upset with me because I wasn’t visibly upset or just outright losing my shite.
I do get sad, obviously I care about the people most important to me...I’m just not an emotional person. I don’t have it in me. The bright side is that people that are struggling find me easy to talk to because I control my emotions so well, they say it makes it easier for them to communicate their feelings without breaking down themselves.
Of this.
Except for it was losing my mom at 6 years old. I sometimes wonder if I am broken or dead inside. Lost a very close friend a few years ago. I didn’t cry one single time. My Dad is 82 and I don’t know how much longer he will be here. When he goes I really have no earthly idea how I will react..
Posted on 5/26/20 at 8:17 am to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
I know this is a morbid topic, but I find talking about it and discussing it with others is cathartic, at least for me. I recently lost my father and it has hit me very hard. I’ve lost quite a few loved ones in my life, and as I get older, it only gets harder to accept that they’re no longer here on this Earth.
So my question to all of you is, how do you deal with death? Do you feel it’s a simple, “We’re born, we live, and we die” explanation or do you find more meaning in it? Are you a believer in existentialism? Do you believe in an afterlife (Heaven and Hell)?
When a loved one is taken from you, how do you deal with it?
For me as a Catholic it's pretty simple, I believe in heaven and I believe they have moved on to something better.
As I have gotten older it has been harder to accept. I have lost both my grandfather's in the last 5 years and that was hard. Losing my father in law was specifically hard but all three had cancer and both grandfathers were over 80 so it's much easier to accept.
My father in law was hard because he was only 65 and had beat cancer and died during the surgery to clean everything up. To see someone struggle and kick cancers arse, but then for suddenly at the end is very hard. It opened my eyes and made me refocus on what's important in life and it had a huge effect on my family and the future of our family. Changed my whole lifes direction and stopped a move to Houston.
I will say I do have nightmares about something happening to my children. I'm sure when the time comes when my father passed I will be devastated, same with mother in law. I just take solace in the fact they are in a better place.
Posted on 5/26/20 at 8:49 am to redstick13
quote:
losing my son last year.
Loss of your child has to be the ultimate kick in the balls. That along with loss of your spouse.
I hope I'm dead long before either happens to me.
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