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Started By
Message
re: The Bitterness of Missing Out on Love
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:43 pm to OceanTiger1
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:43 pm to OceanTiger1
Put your phone down, go somewhere and interact with real people.
0
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:43 pm to Walt OReilly
quote:
I came to the realization a few years a that I’m going to die alone. It’s pretty depressing
It will be really depressing for the dudes who find your corpse
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:44 pm to OceanTiger1
Take a trip to Singapore and visit four floors. There you can find pure, innocent love.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:44 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
It's irreplaceable. I feel sorry for people who cannot feel/express strong emotion. Greatest feeling in the world.
I've recently figured this out. Yeah it took me until my 30's to not just toxic dump emotions, but actually feel and enjoy them, but now I'm here. Does it mean I'll say stupid shite sometimes? Yes. Does it mean others could potentially hold my words against me? Sure does. Most people are not fundamentally bad, and understand the social contract of "you take what I say out of context and use it against me, I can for you" mutually assured destruction
. It's so fricking freeing though. I'm flawed, I'm not perfect, I won't own a company that rivals Google... and it's fine.Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:45 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
Even if I do go out and aggressively date I feel like I'm going to have to make a choice:
That's your problem, overthinking.
Love, romance can be damaged by overthinking. It's fatal.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:45 pm to OceanTiger1
True love is overrated baw
Just go to Asia and hire some hookers and get it over with
Just go to Asia and hire some hookers and get it over with
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:47 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
Date women closer to my age (30 and up) who will most likely be divorced/separated/out of a bad relationship and possibly have kids.
What is so wrong with that though? Think of it this way....those women have likely(hopefully) learned what NOT to do in a relationship and will take that knowledge into the next relationship.
Also....nowadays you have more professional women in their 30s who have never married as well and don’t want kids.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:47 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
But it goes back to the fact that I'm 36 now. Even if I do go out and aggressively date I feel like I'm going to have to make a choice:
A) Date women closer to my age (30 and up) who will most likely be divorced/separated/out of a bad relationship and possibly have kids.
or
B) Date a woman significantly younger than me (early, mid, maybe late 20s) which typically causes its own issues. Never mind women in that age range will typically be more superficial and we might not have as much in common. Never mind we would've grown up in very different times.
Neither option is great and I have no clue which way to go in that regard.
I'm not really a relationship dude anymore, but this is a failure mentality. You're already telling yourself what you will find before you even look. With that attitude, if you actually found someone high quality and worth making sacrifices for you would feel unworthy.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:48 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
I just had a first appointment with a therapist last week.
My therapist asked if I had been practicing self love.
I told him I masturbate every day.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:48 pm to TheWalrus
quote:
No love at all is better than soul crushing heartbreak
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:48 pm to lsunurse
quote:
those women have likely(hopefully) learned what NOT to do in a relationship and will take that knowledge into the next relationship.
Hahhahahhahhahhh
Hahhahaha
Hahahhahahah
Wait...wait...
Hahahahahahhahaha
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:49 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
It kills me a little bit each day that I've never had (and probably will never have) that type of love.
Am I making too much of a big deal over it? Do you think my bitterness is justified or misguided?
You only get so many hours/days on this earth...rich/poor/good looking/bad looking...it always comes to an end. Stop wasting time wallowing in regret and just start finding what you want now.
quote:
That we are supposed to date women who are divorced/separated/out of a bad relationship and be the responsible ones. Like where was our fun?
Have fun with the cougars, seems simple
Then when you catch one that's better than the rest, see if it grows to more.
But either way, regret gets you nowhere. You can't change it anyway. You can control tomorrow, so get to fricking work
This post was edited on 2/23/20 at 8:54 pm
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:50 pm to Walt OReilly
quote:
I came to the realization a few years a that I’m going to die alone. It’s pretty depressing
Well maybe you’ll get lucky and die in a plane crash with a few hundred other people.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:50 pm to Jcorye1
quote:
I've been in your boat. I was successful in my career, people seemed to like me, and I was a functioning member of society. It killed me that "all the good ones were taken" and "why doesn't anyone like me". I caused me a ton of pain to see happy couples, and just feel broken.
It sounds so, so counter intuitive, but you have to let go of those feelings. Even if you stumble into a relationship, it'll be more about the "relationship" than the actual person. You won't like/love the person, you'll love/like the idea of the person and what they represent. It is destined to fail.
See a psrink, get involved in a bunch of new activities to meet people, and calm the frick down. Even if everything doesn't work out (it will), you'll be the cool guy in your 30's, 40's, and 50's that constantly has a string of dates.
A lot of good points, and you're right, I have to let go out of the hatred that I have. Both for the women who rejected and the times that in many ways I've rejected myself.
Like you it pains me seeing couples out kissing and hugging. It pains me every time I'm at some restaurant or bar and the bartender/waiter is like "oh just yourself?" like I have some choice in the matter.
Like you said I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. That's never what I wanted and even if I am miserable at the moment I'd rather stay single than be in a horrible relationship.
But you're right with all your suggestions. Really I need to find myself again. I lost myself along the way and I need to find what makes me happy again. I am seeing a therapist so hopefully she will be able to help with that.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:52 pm to LeClerc
quote:
Stick with it, it will help. It takes time to develop the trust you’ll need to completely open up and delve. It takes courage to do what you’re doing. Good luck.
Thank you, I know it'll be a long journey but I'm hoping to make some serious progress this year. Seeing a therapist, working out more, trying to eat healthier. Now I just need to do some soul searching and figure out what my purpose is in this crazy work. Start finding myself again and start figuring out how to be happy again. Somewhere along the way I forgot how to truly be happy.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:52 pm to Rouge
Some of us are capable of striving to be better Rouge.
Y’all know I’m fighting like hell to save my marriage. But if it fails and years from now I am blessed to find love again....best believe I’m not making the same mistakes I did in my marriage.
Y’all know I’m fighting like hell to save my marriage. But if it fails and years from now I am blessed to find love again....best believe I’m not making the same mistakes I did in my marriage.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:53 pm to OceanTiger1
quote:
A lot of good points, and you're right, I have to let go out of the hatred that I have. Both for the women who rejected and the times that in many ways I've rejected myself.
Like you it pains me seeing couples out kissing and hugging. It pains me every time I'm at some restaurant or bar and the bartender/waiter is like "oh just yourself?" like I have some choice in the matter.
Like you said I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. That's never what I wanted and even if I am miserable at the moment I'd rather stay single than be in a horrible relationship.
But you're right with all your suggestions. Really I need to find myself again. I lost myself along the way and I need to find what makes me happy again. I am seeing a therapist so hopefully she will be able to help with that.
Sounds to me like you're unsure whether you want a relationship because of love or because you're getting embarrassed of being alone. If it's the latter and you just want a status relationship, there will be a lot of misery that will ensue with that.
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:54 pm to OceanTiger1
I know of a girl in Church Point....
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:54 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
That's your problem, overthinking.
Love, romance can be damaged by overthinking. It's fatal.
Overthinking in what way? I don't disagree with you. I'll admit that one of my flaws is that I overthink a fair amount, on a variety of things. It's something I'm trying to work on but in what way did my comment say I was overthinking?
Posted on 2/23/20 at 8:56 pm to lsunurse
at least you have butters to love you
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