re: The Bitterness of Missing Out on Love

Thanks supa, I’ve always thought you were a good guy

Life isn’t fair. But I’m still hopeful thankfully. I started sliding down the bitterness trail (should have been obvious on the OT as I acted like a major See you next Tuesday at times) but am trying to just focus on making myself a better person and hoping it’s enough.

quote:

---

This is not love.

This is a script to a bad rom com.

---

Most love in high school/college/mid 20's is like a bad rom com, wouldn't you agree? It also makes it pure and innocent which is what I feel like I missed. That's why people like rom coms.

quote:

---

A real woman will care how much you make. You will care how much she makes. You will have bills.

---

Does a girl in high school, college or mid 20's care what you make? I understand women in their 30s are going to care what you make and that's what takes a lot of the innocence out of love IMO. Again that's what I regret, that's what I missed.

quote:

---

You don't really want a woman who doesn't care what her family thinks.

If she doesn't care what people think of her, can you honestly say that you would be ok with it? Are you going to date a woman with a face tattoo?

---

I didn't mean that she doesn't care about her family at all. But a woman who isn't going to let her family control her. A woman that is still ultimately going to make her own decisions.

It's funny you bring up the tattoo thing. My dad at times has said "just kill us now if you bring home a woman who has tattoos". I would absolutely date women who have tattoos, maybe even full arm tattoos. You're right though I wouldn't date a woman with a face tattoo, just because I think it's unattractive though, not because of what my family would think.

quote:

---

You sound incredibly immature. Life is complicated. People are complicated. Relationships are complicated.

---

I agree that people are complicated. Heck I'm a complicated person, lol. I might be immature in terms of relationships just because I have no real experience in relationships. I was probably immature even into my 30s but I am honestly a pretty mature person now. I would not have been mature enough to have had this conversation even 2 years ago.

quote:

---

But you've got start from a point in reality. Not what you're writing.

---

Isn't all fantasy based in some reality though? No I agree, if I'm only looking for a woman based on what I'm saying I'm screwed because I would essentially be looking for a unicorn. But it goes back to the original question though. How do I get over the bitterness of never having the true innocent love? And yes it does exist, but mostly when you're young. I have to accept the fact that I've lost that opportunity and move on. It's just moving on that's been the hard part for me.

quote:

---

Didn't you say that you are a virgin in your last thread? Does that mean you've never been in an actual relationship, or is this a troll?

---

Yes I am a virgin and until about 2 years ago I bought into all the Incel/MGTOW/Red Pill BS due to my anger over this. But really my anger was just an attempt to hide my sadness and loneliness. Plus I used the Incel term because it seemed less shameful than truly admitting still being a virgin. I don't believe in any of that Red Pill BS anymore.

I have never been in a relationship and I've never made it past a second date. I've only made out with three women ever in my life, all just random things.

quote:

---

How do I get over the bitterness of never having the true innocent love?

---

Dude...you get over it the same way you get over learning wrestling and santa Claus are fake.

It never existed.

It doesn't exist.

You are so desperately trying to convince...who?...you...the people who post here what you keep calling innocent love.

There are a hell of a lot of people here who dated all through high school and their 20s and will tell you about how awesome and innocent it felt when you popped a condom or your girl was late with her period.

You are being purposely obtuse.

quote:

---

Dude...you get over it the same way you get over learning wrestling and santa Claus are fake.

It never existed.

It doesn't exist.

You are so desperately trying to convince...who?...you...the people who post here what you keep calling innocent love.

There are a hell of a lot of people here who dated all through high school and their 20s and will tell you about how awesome and innocent it felt when you popped a condom or your girl was late with her period.

You are being purposely obtuse.

---

I guess it is true to some extent. It's like I love the idea even though the rational side of my brain knows it reality it's not true. And I agree I would never want to go though the horror of possibly having a kid from a one night stand or a casual relationship. My paycheck sure thanks me as well, lol.

I don't think I'm being purposely obtuse and apologize if I come off like that in any way. It's truly just me trying to work on my emotions on this topic (something I should've done a long time ago) and get some advice on here.

Really there's two things that I've been trying to process:
1) Accept that whatever you missed is gone and the only thing you can do is to accept it and move forward.
2) That the idea of true love that I believed in for so long is truly just a delusion. Understanding that really I didn't miss as much as I think I did and that I idealized something that was never real.

quote:

---

It's irreplaceable. I feel sorry for people who cannot feel/express strong emotion. Greatest feeling in the world.

---

I know for me, its not something I miss, its just a feeling my brain doesn't process. It's like a wire that's not connected. But I'm not crying about it like the OP

You never recover from that. You just carry that forever and it will be a problem for awhile.

Sounds like you and your bro are in love with each other but don’t know it yet.

That kind of emotion is a powerful thing and the allure never goes away even when you have everything you thought you wanted in life.