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re: The Bitterness of Missing Out on Love

Posted on 2/24/20 at 1:57 am to
Posted by UncleRuckus
Member since Feb 2013
7644 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 1:57 am to
Man up. Get some pussy. You’re alive, it’s not too late
Posted by DomincDecoco
of no fixed abode
Member since Oct 2018
10866 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 2:42 am to
blame the boomers for that too
Posted by Loup
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
11283 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 4:12 am to
quote:

No love at all is better than soul crushing heartbreak


Idk about that. Both have had a profound effect on me. One in particular was the catalyst to me making some major life changes that have made me a much better person.
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 6:18 am
Posted by iknowmorethanyou
Paydirt
Member since Jul 2007
6546 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 4:45 am to
quote:


What’s stopping you from dating someone in their mid 20s and isn’t broken?



Himself.
Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
16202 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:13 am to
quote:

If I had to give a definition I would say it's pretty much like a first love. It's the type where you become infatuated with each other. It's the type where whatever troubles you have in your life seem to go away when you're with each other. It's the feeling that together you can tackle anything. You haven't been beaten down by the real world yet. You still have eternal hope.

I would also say a love where the woman loves me because of who I am. Not because of my career or how much money I could or would make. She's not worried about kids or image in terms of how our families or anyone views us.

That's probably the best explanation and why I think I've lost the opportunity to have it.


There is where you are wrong. You are looking at love as ONLY one of two options.

1. Fantasy high school infatuation that is not based on reality.

2. Saving a poor woman who has 3 kids from 2 exes.

Real love is neither of those things. You have not missed out on anything. When I look back at the girls I dated in high school and college, I laugh at myself. I learned nothing from those relationships and only got hurt due to their immaturity and my immaturity.

Be thankful you were spared the pain because it was not worth it. Now you can get to the real issue which is why you keep rejecting nice women who are your age and don’t have kids.
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 5:17 am
Posted by CharlesLSU
Member since Jan 2007
31892 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:23 am to
read the thread.

you're ether FOS or too stupid/selfish to get "it".
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 5:57 am
Posted by TDcline
American Gardens building 11th flor
Member since Aug 2015
9281 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:31 am to
OP Trolling
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 6:07 am
Posted by CharlesLSU
Member since Jan 2007
31892 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:50 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 5:57 am
Posted by NorthEnd
Member since Oct 2007
2144 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:54 am to
Man-I mean this in a nice way—you’re the broken one.

The good news is you don’t need a therapist-you need some pussy. This isn’t sarcastic OT advice. I’m being real. You want to feel that infatuation? Go get some damn pussy. It’s everywhere. Buy it if you have to to get the skunk off, but just get some pussy!!

You regret missing out on “innocent love” in high school and college-but nobody was looking for innocent love. We were all looking for pussy.

Get laid!

This is the best advice in your thread. It’ll change your world.

Without you saying it I already know you’re looking for a virgin. It ain’t gonna happen.
Posted by CharlesLSU
Member since Jan 2007
31892 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 5:56 am to
quote:

This guy has to be trolling us


yep.....I'm irritated that I fell for it.
Posted by uway
Member since Sep 2004
33109 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 6:09 am to
quote:

 told me he's had many family members and friends (including 1 I guess about a week ago) try to hook him up, especially with "good women" who are just out of a bad situation. He has no interest and I don't blame him.

I went into a rant and told him I think it's ridiculous that guys like me and him are expected to essentially "save" broken women. That we are supposed to date women who are divorced/separated/out of a bad relationship and be the responsible ones. Like where was our fun?


What is your basis for believing that you couldn't find the fun, innocent love you are seeking with one of these women?

There's an old country song by the beautiful Martina McBride (I think) that goes "standing knee deep in a river, and drowning of thirst." Make sure that you don't make that mistake.

Remember, a relationship isn't between men and women
IN GENERAL. It's between a particular man and a particular woman. Don't let the faults of womankind in general keep you from finding love with one person. That would be as bad as what "all men are pigs" women do.
Posted by ElderTiger
Planet Earth
Member since Dec 2010
6996 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 6:46 am to
I understand what you are dealing with. I was 51 before I found it. My first marriage was a nightmare but I hung in there.
Good luck.
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52971 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 6:59 am to
I know this feel bro

And all the women that are semi decent are obsessed with traveling and letting their eggs die because of their “career”
Posted by thejudge
Westlake, LA
Member since Sep 2009
14054 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:12 am to
quote:

It all goes back to one of (if not the biggest) regret of my life. That I never got to experience pure innocent love. I never got to experience the love that many of you got to experience in high school, college or mid 20s. The "fun, no cares in the world, our life is just starting and still ahead of us, we can do anything" type of love. It kills me a little bit each day that I've never had (and probably will never have) that type of love.


There is a reason they make movies about this. Disney called em fairy tales.

Most of it is just that. There are some but it's few and far between.

Until you have kids. Your kids loving you is about the purest thing there is. I love my wife and wouldn't change a thing I've done but the love you describe is mostly list when your in high school and early college.

Grown up, make a life together love is time worn and battle tested and is different.

You grind that out and have some children you'll find that carefree love you think you missed and it will pay you back every day for the rest of your life.
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32631 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:24 am to
I honestly had some sympathy for you until this post.

quote:

But it goes back to the fact that I'm 36 now. Even if I do go out and aggressively date I feel like I'm going to have to make a choice:

A) Date women closer to my age (30 and up) who will most likely be divorced/separated/out of a bad relationship and possibly have kids. or

B) Date a woman significantly younger than me (early, mid, maybe late 20s) which typically causes its own issues. Never mind women in that age range will typically be more superficial and we might not have as much in common. Never mind we would've grown up in very different times.

Neither option is great and I have no clue which way to go in that regard.


You don’t want to find love. You want to wallow in self pity. Defeatist attitude that someone thinks he’s too good for pretty much anyone.

You need to see a therapist for a while before you start dating imho. You have deeper issues than you realize and if those aren’t corrected then you’ll never be able to sustain a meaningful long term relationship. I hope you find happiness and get off your high horse.
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32631 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:25 am to
quote:

Sadly his problem is he's not truly open to love anymore.
Oh the irony...
Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
68456 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:26 am to
I thought you had died
Posted by shawnlsu
Member since Nov 2011
23682 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:26 am to
Sounds like you live in the friend zone
Posted by samson73103
Krypton
Member since Nov 2008
8132 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:28 am to
quote:

No love at all is better than soul crushing heartbreak

I disagree. I've been thru one divorce and also had a broken engagement. It was painful but I wouldn't trade the good times to have avoided it altogether. Loving someone and having them love you back in return is a feeling that can't be replicated by any other means.
Posted by ApexTiger
cary nc
Member since Oct 2003
53771 posts
Posted on 2/24/20 at 7:29 am to
Some of this may border fantasy...perhaps you dream love better than anyone can live up to?

The high is great but the fall is rough...it can last longer than the relationship

Date a broken women since you're sound a bit broken also...at least try it a few times...experienced women are easier to date.

And yeah after two massive heartbreaks...I found myself and my wife in church.
This post was edited on 2/24/20 at 7:30 am
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