re: OT Dads of Marrying-Aged Daughters - How much do you have stocked away for the big day?

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How about just being happy with what your daughter wants rather than what you want?

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I think you're missing the context here...

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Statistics say 38 more will end in divorce.

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Not really. The 50% is a gigantic sham because it accounts for all marriages and divorces. When the most divorces come from people who have already been divorced once.

Even for first time divorces, the rate drops significantly when the couple getting married are from families where their parents are still married...which is the case in most of these weddings.

I would give son/daughter 40K for a home down payment and skip the expensive wedding.

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I would give son/daughter 40K for a home down payment and skip the expensive wedding.

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My wife and I got married in Vegas and skipped the wedding. My dad was planning on giving us some money for the wedding we didn't have so he paid it towards our first house. Was pretty cool and he absolutely didn't have to do that.

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Who the frick spends 40K on a wedding?

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More people than you think.

We have have been to several weddings that cost $35,000 +.

One was a doctor's daughter and it was probably closer to a $100k based on the # of people attending, the food(great food), and the venue. We were friends of the groom's family.

One was an O&G executive, old friend from college, and he spent ~$40k.

The bride's mom at another one saved for it and she told me she could have bought a new car for what the wedding cost so I'm estimating about $35k. The mom was a school teacher.

All of those had about 200 guest. We've been to other ones that probably cost $20,000+ and the parents are not wealthy. The various expenses just add up quickly.

The movies Father of the Bride (one with Spencer Tracy and one with Steve Martin as the bride's father) are pretty realistic despite being comedies.

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I'm starting to think I'm undercharging wedding ceremony music at $350/wedding.

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If I were you I would price my services based on who the client is. Our daughter got married at the court house, just like her mom & dad so I wouldn't hire you but $350 is chump change for that doctor.

Also, the grooms parents normally pay for the rehearsal dinner. And these days if there are guest from out of town they are invited to the rehearsal dinner even if they are not in the wedding. Found that out when our youngest son got married a few years ago.

My daughter is 19. I have nothing set aside. I’m not spending a fortune on a wedding

If you can't afford it yourself then don't ask for a big grand wedding

There was a great thread almost a decade back called Annie Banks = Spoiled Bitch on the M/TV Board. It’s about The Father of the Bride and how Steve Martin was somehow insane and a dope on not wanting to spend $143,000 on a wedding back in 1991.

That whole movie paints him as delusional idiot when he’s really the only sane person. Really, she comes back from studying abroad for 3 months and is already engaged at fricking 21 and expects her dad to buy a small Island Country for her? Ummmm, no first off you’re waiting at least until 25 to get married, and 150 thousand dollars for a wedding? Are you out of your god damn mind.

I’ve updated the math from that thread, and that wedding today would cost $268,306.64. Annie Banks is a stupid spoiled whore, and Steve Martin shouldn’t have let the insane women and gay men in his life to bully him. I mean shite, she doesn’t say goodbye to him after investing in a marriage that he knows is sure to fail. She merely gives him a call when the groom likely told her she was being a callous count to her father. I’m sure some variation of this conversation happened in the limo.

“Listen, I still love you baby and I don’t regret marrying you, but what the frick is that shite? You don’t say goodbye to your parents or remotely acknowledge them when we’re leaving? They just dropped 300K on our god damn wedding, and it’s too much to give them a thank you on our big day? Not only that, but they’re going to think I’m an a-hole as well for this in dragging their 21 year old daughter into marriage. So you get your fricking arse on that pay phone, and you thank them for the fricking wedding and say you were just overwhelmed not saying goodbye to them, because this is something your parents are going to take extremely personally against both of us. Now you go do that, or I’ll throw you onto the jetway. Any questions?”