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re: OT Dads of Marrying-Aged Daughters - How much do you have stocked away for the big day?

Posted on 5/28/19 at 8:57 am to
Posted by HubbaBubba
F_uck Joe Biden, TX
Member since Oct 2010
45851 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 8:57 am to
quote:

Who the frick spends 40K on a wedding?
My wife and I married later after we both developed careers. We paid for everything. Our bar tab, alone, was almost $20k. The dress over $6k. The reception, band and fireworks another $25k. Throw in the ring, the bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts, plus the limo service, the first class tickets to Maui and renting a secluded home where we could frick outdoors in a hot tub at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean where there were rainbows every day and I guess we spent close to $80 grand.
Posted by NfamousPanda
Central
Member since Jan 2016
806 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:01 am to
My daughter is only a toddler, but when that time comes she'll get the same offer my father-in-law gave me. $5K cash to elope, or $10K for a wedding. While our wedding and reception was awesome, I should have taken the $5K
Posted by icegator337
Lafayette
Member since Jan 2013
3507 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:05 am to
quote:

44k? You could literally buy land and throw a kick arse party with kegs for a fraction of the cost.

Ahh yes, every girls dream.

For the baws saying 44k is ridiculous, what do you think is appropriate?
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81225 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:06 am to
My dad has been saving money for myself and my brother since we were born. As far as I know, the same amount was saved for both of us. He does not refer to it as "wedding money".

A few times in life, dad has let us dip into the money for matters where we needed a lump sum. My brother used his to put the down payment on his house he purchased a couple years ago.

I had to use some of mine to pay for my DUI ( ) back when I was 21, and then I bought my new vehicle in cash in October 2017. There's a small amount left, which I'm sure will just be gifted when I decide to finally get married.
This post was edited on 5/28/19 at 9:07 am
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
55846 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:09 am to
quote:

For the baws saying 44k is ridiculous, what do you think is appropriate?
5k more than they spent, but 5k less is too cheap
Posted by Hu_Flung_Pu
Central, LA
Member since Jan 2013
22211 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:09 am to
My in laws spent close to 70k. Totally stupid. I really wanted that towards a house.

My sister spent around 250k. Her husbands side put up the money as they are beyond wealthy and had senators at that party.

My other sister put around 40k in hers.
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
56498 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:10 am to
quote:

44k is ridiculous
It is.

I have thought about it and I think 10k is a nice budget. I am sure when you add in soft costs that gets up to 12k...but come on, that is a shite load of Michelob ultra and baby crab cakes.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83630 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:12 am to
quote:

For the baws saying 44k is ridiculous, what do you think is appropriate?


obviously it is whatever you can reasonably afford

the "baws" saying $44k is ridiculous obviously cannot reasonably afford $44k wedding



Posted by ZappBrannigan
Member since Jun 2015
7692 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:16 am to
If you feel like being traditional.


Engagement Party
Rehearsal Dinner


If you go really traditional, dowry negotiation.


I plan to ask for 12 chickens, 6 goats, and 2 cows when it comes down to it. Plus maintenance income if her family has some money. The tricky part is haggling how the income works after divorce. Need to get that ironclad so they have more interest in working thing outs than splitting.
Posted by doya2
Charenton
Member since Jan 2005
7933 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:16 am to
20-25 k is a very nice wedding. Did it twice.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81225 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:16 am to
quote:

Hopefully this 40k average is being thrown off from a few outliers. A couple if million dollar f you money weddings can skew the average pretty easily.



Yeah, they really have middle class young women deluded the most of all. Your lower income folks almost always do a backyard type deal because that's all they know in the first place. Your wealthy people have the massive fancy shindig because that's what they know, and can easily afford.

But the middle class women have no idea where they fall. They assume they "deserve" more than a backyard wedding because they're not low income. But they can't afford to do the big baller to-do at the nicest venue, with the nicest food, etc. either. Many middle class women were raised in private school where some of their peers came from a lot more money, so they assume they're on the same level.

What you end up with are these 150+ guest weddings for middle class couples that cost ~$20k-$30k and are fairly mediocre. And in most of the instances, the couple would have been able to start a life together on very comfortable ground with that money.
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
56498 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:21 am to
quote:

saying $44k is ridiculous obviously cannot reasonably afford $44k wedding

or it is viewed as reasonable, afford doesn't necessarily have a thing in the world to do with it
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65895 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:24 am to
Füt #1: ~ 500 guests at the wedding & reception
Füt #2: ~ 250 guests at the wedding & reception
Füt #3: Has indicated a destination wedding is desired



ETA: No pics of any of the above but there are wedding pics out on the interwebs.
This post was edited on 5/28/19 at 9:26 am
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81225 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:25 am to
quote:

My sister spent around 250k. Her husbands side put up the money as they are beyond wealthy and had senators at that party.



See, this does not bother me in the least bit. The hatred against big weddings makes sense when we are talking about a situation where someone is either going into debt or blowing money saved for them that would have greatly improve their quality of life. But I don't have any issue for people who can more than comfortably afford it.
Posted by Kracka
Lafayette, Louisiana
Member since Aug 2004
40859 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:28 am to
quote:

Who the frick spends 40K on a wedding?


Complete dumbasses. Or people that can light a stack on fire and watch it burn without it making them flinch.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81225 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:32 am to
quote:

Or people that can light a stack on fire and watch it burn without it making them flinch.


Those people aren't having $40k weddings either.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83630 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:32 am to
quote:

or it is viewed as reasonable, afford doesn't necessarily have a thing in the world to do with it



affordability generally has everything to do with what we view as reasonable

Posted by WaydownSouth
Stratton Oakmont
Member since Nov 2018
8232 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:36 am to
Bands are overrated. I’d much rather pay a DJ $500-$1000 and have the songs actually sound good
Posted by madamsquirrel
The Snarlington Estate
Member since Jul 2009
48919 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:40 am to
My kids are averaging around $10k and the weddings are super modest church weddings with no alcohol. (In the afternoon and do not last long- which is also what I dis for both of mine so family and friends expect it and know what it will be)
Posted by Hu_Flung_Pu
Central, LA
Member since Jan 2013
22211 posts
Posted on 5/28/19 at 9:42 am to
quote:

Bands are overrated. I’d much rather pay a DJ $500-$1000 and have the songs actually sound good



You must have not paid enough then.
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