GMT

Today in History: March 2

1877 Rutherford B. Hayes is declared president by one vote the day before the inauguration.

1889 Congress passes the Indian Appropriations Bill, proclaiming unassigned lands in the public domain; the first step toward the famous Oklahoma Land Rush.

1923 In Italy, Mussolini admits that women have a right to vote, but declares that the time is not right.

1945 MacArthur raises the U.S. flag on Corregidor in the Philippines.

1951 The U.S. Navy launches the K-1, the first modern submarine designed to hunt enemy submarines.

1973 Federal forces surround Wounded Knee, South Dakota, which is occupied by members of the militant American Indian Movement who are holding at least 10 hostages.

1974 A grand jury in Washington, D.C. concludes that President Nixon was indeed involved in the Watergate cover-up.

Born on March 2

1793 Sam Houston, president of Texas, later Texas senator and governor.

1904 Theodor Seuss Geisel [Dr. Seuss], author of numerous children's books including The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham.

1931 Mikhail Gorbachev, Secretary General of the Soviet Union. Responsible for restructuring the Soviet economy (perestroika) and openness and information (glasnost).

1942 John Irving, novelist (The World According to Garp).


JOTD

On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods, the golfer."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."
The couple then makes passionate love.
When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.
When they finish, he goes back to the phone.
"What are you doing now?" she asks.
"I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."
The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.
Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"