- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
How To Politely Decline Being Best Man
Posted on 12/6/16 at 4:23 am
Posted on 12/6/16 at 4:23 am
Say its a friend of yours, but not really one of your best friends.I met him after college, known him 10 years or so. A friend you talk to once a month or so, but he asks you bc you introduced him to his fiancee and he feels like he owes you. He actually said "he owes me". He asked me last night while he was in town, he lives in new york, Im in texas. I just dont really want all the responsibility of it being that its not a super close friend of mine. What would you do to not ruin the friendship but politely say "no"
This post was edited on 12/6/16 at 4:25 am
25
Posted on 12/6/16 at 4:26 am to dabigfella
quote:
How To Politely Decline Being Best Man
ask him genuinely if he has any friends/brother that he is closer to and would feel slighted if they were not chosen. if he says yes, then encourage him to choose them and give it your blessing after convincing him it was his idea to choose them.
if he says no, you're the only one he's close to. well, good luck! I have no answer for that.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 4:46 am to dabigfella
Bang his fiancée.
2 birds, one stone.
2 birds, one stone.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 5:40 am to dabigfella
Just do it. Being the best man is fun. Yeah it's a lot of work but that's life.
This post was edited on 12/6/16 at 5:40 am
Posted on 12/6/16 at 5:48 am to dabigfella
I recently did this for a guy I've only known about 4 years. We are late 30's, she is early 40's and it was both of their second marriages. To me, at that age, and on a second marriage it's silly to have a wedding anyway but it's probably her that wants it. If they are wanting you to travel, lodge, have a tux, they need to offer upfront to pay for all that. If they did, you could look at it as more of a paid vacation than being best man. There's really no duties or speeches like someone said, if you don't want to do that.
As far as why he's asking you, I don't think it has to do with you introducing them, so he feels obligated to pay you back. Best man at our age is as much of a hassle as an honor. Most likely he doesn't have anyone else to ask, or has already been turned down. In my buddies case, his dad is deceased, his brother was jealous and didn't even come, and another close friend he had was also real jealous and pretty much quit talking to him when they first started dating. In his case, after a 10 year marriage ended he was pretty much starting over from scratch with nothing. No close guy friends, no money, etc. I didn't think twice about doing it. I thought it was an honor and it turned out to be a real cool experience.
I think it just boils down to how much do you care about them both. They may be trying to decide if they really want to have a wedding if they can get someone to stand in for him. If they have one anyway but you turn it down expect your relationship to deteriorate. If they decide, hey lets just do something simple with no one else involved, you may have saved them both a bunch of time and money.
As far as why he's asking you, I don't think it has to do with you introducing them, so he feels obligated to pay you back. Best man at our age is as much of a hassle as an honor. Most likely he doesn't have anyone else to ask, or has already been turned down. In my buddies case, his dad is deceased, his brother was jealous and didn't even come, and another close friend he had was also real jealous and pretty much quit talking to him when they first started dating. In his case, after a 10 year marriage ended he was pretty much starting over from scratch with nothing. No close guy friends, no money, etc. I didn't think twice about doing it. I thought it was an honor and it turned out to be a real cool experience.
I think it just boils down to how much do you care about them both. They may be trying to decide if they really want to have a wedding if they can get someone to stand in for him. If they have one anyway but you turn it down expect your relationship to deteriorate. If they decide, hey lets just do something simple with no one else involved, you may have saved them both a bunch of time and money.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 5:57 am to dabigfella
Say, "Sorry 'bro–been there, done her, if you catch my drift."
You won't even have to show up at the wedding.
You won't even have to show up at the wedding.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:02 am to dabigfella
quote:
How To Politely Decline Being Best Man
I'm surprised he wanted a best man with an accent
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:13 am to dabigfella
He probably only chose you so you can pay for an expensive bachelor party for him and his real friends. You're probably a massive douche bag irl, but he's ignoring that to use you for your money
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:17 am to dabigfella
That's a tough one.
Maybe somehow convince him that another person may feel slighted if he didn't ask them.They may be expecting it.
Maybe somehow convince him that another person may feel slighted if he didn't ask them.They may be expecting it.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:20 am to dabigfella
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:45 am to dabigfella
quote:
I Introduced this guy on accident and he thinks he owes me. My wife and I were taking her friend out to dinner and I didn't want to be the third wheel and he had texted me that he was in town so I invited him to join so it wasn't me and 2 women blabbing about nothing. He thinks it was us arranging them to meet. It really wasn't, he doesn't owe me anything lol and I just dont want best man responsibilities for a wedding in new york, a wedding I probably wouldn't attend anyways.
If you don't get out of it. This is your best man speech.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 6:56 am to dabigfella
Is it possible you are his closest friend? Maybe he doesn't have many friends.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:17 am to dabigfella
Tell him thanks ...but you like him so much that you don't want him blame you once she divorces him and takes half of everything he worked for. Win Win
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:27 am to dabigfella
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:40 am to dabigfella
Say you're gay and would rather marry him
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:40 am to dabigfella
This calls for an elaborate cancer hoax
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:46 am to dabigfella
Lie & say you have a previous commitment on that date or you can't get out of work etc.
Being in a wedding nowadays sucks b/c no one pays for the groomsmen or bridesmaids expenses anymore. They expect you to foot the bill for airfare, hotel, tux & dresses etc. My mother said in their day, the bride's family covered all of that. Being in someone's wedding shouldn't be a financial obligation.
Being in a wedding nowadays sucks b/c no one pays for the groomsmen or bridesmaids expenses anymore. They expect you to foot the bill for airfare, hotel, tux & dresses etc. My mother said in their day, the bride's family covered all of that. Being in someone's wedding shouldn't be a financial obligation.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:52 am to dabigfella
You're a tool
Posted on 12/6/16 at 7:59 am to dabigfella
quote:
What would you do to not ruin the friendship but politely say "no"
Ask him for his credit card number so you can go ahead and book your flight and hotel. If he says no, you're off the hook. If he gives it to you, you should be his best man.
Posted on 12/6/16 at 8:04 am to dabigfella
You have 2 options. Say your honored he asked but he really doesn't owe you anything. Tell him you don't want to be the best man because you set them up. Explain to him it should be his dad or brother or best friend or someone.
If he insists that he wants you to do it, then sack up and do it. It will be a little of an inconvenience but it would obviously mean a lot to him.
ETA you talk about your Rolls and how great your returns on your property's are all the time just by the damn plane ticket and stop bitching.
If he insists that he wants you to do it, then sack up and do it. It will be a little of an inconvenience but it would obviously mean a lot to him.
ETA you talk about your Rolls and how great your returns on your property's are all the time just by the damn plane ticket and stop bitching.
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News