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Married couples and joint/separate bank accounts
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:17 pm
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:17 pm
My friend and I were discussing this a couple weeks back and he was very firm in his belief that a joint bank account was the only way to go because it was an affirmation of unity and trust as a couple, and that anything else was undermining the concept of trust and love that you married each other for in the first place.
I countered with the fact that we're just human at the end of the day, and that i've seen plenty of marriages on the verge of being on the rocks by virtue of chronic monetary disagreements..how to handle x money, why is he/she spending this money when we agreed on this, why should he/she be allotted this amount of money, etc. I hypothetically proposed that if I as the main source of income for my household, I would arrange an allotment of money be given to my wife for paying a certain amount of bills--be it the phone/car payments and groceries..or similar. A fair amount proportioned based on the amount that she was contributing but also giving her a small amount to spend each week if she was taking care of kids at home, etc.
I feel like separate bank accounts do not undermine my trust for my wife and only further add to the peace of mind and respect for one another as adults that we. Much like any prenuptial agreement, it is only "insurance" and takes a lot of the headache out of budgeting.
Maybe I am thinking about it the wrong way..Would like to hear your input
I countered with the fact that we're just human at the end of the day, and that i've seen plenty of marriages on the verge of being on the rocks by virtue of chronic monetary disagreements..how to handle x money, why is he/she spending this money when we agreed on this, why should he/she be allotted this amount of money, etc. I hypothetically proposed that if I as the main source of income for my household, I would arrange an allotment of money be given to my wife for paying a certain amount of bills--be it the phone/car payments and groceries..or similar. A fair amount proportioned based on the amount that she was contributing but also giving her a small amount to spend each week if she was taking care of kids at home, etc.
I feel like separate bank accounts do not undermine my trust for my wife and only further add to the peace of mind and respect for one another as adults that we. Much like any prenuptial agreement, it is only "insurance" and takes a lot of the headache out of budgeting.
Maybe I am thinking about it the wrong way..Would like to hear your input
20
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:28 pm to Mullet Flap
Sounds like marriage might not be the way for you
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:37 pm to Mullet Flap
If you have similar income, I don't see how it would be an issue to have separate accounts
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:42 pm to Mullet Flap
You do whatever is right for your marriage.
I could have gone either way.
Marry someone who is self-sufficient and not a moron (and you do the same), and it will most likely work out for you.
I could have gone either way.
Marry someone who is self-sufficient and not a moron (and you do the same), and it will most likely work out for you.
Posted on 2/13/16 at 8:48 pm to Mullet Flap
We have joint accounts. We have lots of discussion and some disagreements. That's part of being married - you just work through it.
Posted on 2/13/16 at 9:18 pm to Mullet Flap
All your stuff is each other's when married. Doesn't matter if it's separate
Do separate accounts but make sure you can see everything
Then divide up bills
But have a budget and plan
Do separate accounts but make sure you can see everything
Then divide up bills
But have a budget and plan
Posted on 2/13/16 at 9:38 pm to Mullet Flap
Money disputes are one of the leading causes of divorce but that fight is going to happen whether the money is in one account or two. Marry someone who you can trust. Marry someone whose values mirror yours. Marry someone who doesn't spend more than they can afford on bullshite. Beyond that, who cares? My wife and I have separate checking accounts because we don't care to combine them and all spending goes on our Amex anyway.
This post was edited on 2/13/16 at 9:42 pm
Posted on 2/13/16 at 9:45 pm to Mullet Flap
We have a joint account to pay for joint expenses (bills, grocery, gas, etc), and a separate account to pay for personal items (basically an allowance account). It works for us, because we basically split our disposable income every month. We also have a joint savings.
Posted on 2/13/16 at 10:33 pm to Mullet Flap
Best solution I've ever heard and it works incredibly well for us...
Have a single "house account" where both the husband and wife's paychecks go into. Each have their own personal allowance account. Every month, both the husband and wife get a spend allowance automatically transferred out of the house account into their spend account. This allowance account is for when I want to buy guns/fishing stuff and she wants to buy purses/clothes. Everything else gets paid out of the house account (bills, gas, groceries, entertainment that includes the both of us, vacations, dinners, etc).
Neither of us can get mad at the other for buying something one of us thinks is stupid since we have our own personal allowance.
Have a single "house account" where both the husband and wife's paychecks go into. Each have their own personal allowance account. Every month, both the husband and wife get a spend allowance automatically transferred out of the house account into their spend account. This allowance account is for when I want to buy guns/fishing stuff and she wants to buy purses/clothes. Everything else gets paid out of the house account (bills, gas, groceries, entertainment that includes the both of us, vacations, dinners, etc).
Neither of us can get mad at the other for buying something one of us thinks is stupid since we have our own personal allowance.
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:33 pm to Mullet Flap
Christine and I have joint checking and joint savings. It works for us but I wouldn't presume to say it would work for everyone. We have comparable incomes and we talk on a daily basis about money and we've never had a problem. I think joint accounts can work when everyone communicates clearly. Sure, there will be moments of animosity but I can't imagine that would go away completely if we had separate accounts.
Posted on 2/14/16 at 2:20 pm to Mullet Flap
We tried separate for awhile, then combined everything around our 1st anniversary, our savings has been consistently more each month as a result.
Not saying it will work for everyone but it has for us. Really put some of our unnecessary impulse purchases in check.
Not saying it will work for everyone but it has for us. Really put some of our unnecessary impulse purchases in check.
Posted on 2/14/16 at 2:31 pm to Mullet Flap
Depends if you want a wife or roommate
Posted on 2/14/16 at 3:27 pm to Mullet Flap
Wife and I have joint accounts, we both pay different bills based on our income allocation (I pay for the larger stuff and she pays some of the smaller stuff). We both probably end up with the same amount of disposable income after the bills are paid. It works really well for us but if she wanted a joint account, I'd be cool with that too.
Posted on 2/14/16 at 5:15 pm to Mullet Flap
My wife and I use separate bank accounts for now. We might revisit going the joint approach in the future, but it has not been an issue for us thus far.
Posted on 2/14/16 at 7:46 pm to Mullet Flap
quote:
I hypothetically proposed that if I as the main source of income for my household, I would arrange an allotment of money be given to my wife for paying a certain amount of bills--be it the phone/car payments and groceries..or similar. A fair amount proportioned based on the amount that she was contributing but also giving her a small amount to spend each week if she was taking care of kids at home, etc.
Haha you better not get married or just marry someone that makes the same amount of money as you.
I can't even imagine my wife's reaction if I proposed something like that to her (nor would I ever want to - that's not how marriage works).
"You don't make as much money as me so here's your allowance, dear...here's a little more for watching our son this afternoon." lol
Haha - sorry that concept cracks me up. But to each their own, I guess.
Posted on 2/15/16 at 7:16 am to Mullet Flap
Money is the #1 cause of divorce. Duh, right? According to a speaker at a couples retreat my wife and I went to this last weekend, the number one money issue leading to divorce is hidden debt. I'm sure you can guess how hidden debts relate to having separate or joint accounts.
I used to think it didn't matter but I believe now days that everyone in a marriage has to be all in with zero secrets if it is going to last. Love isn't enough and plain old trust isn't enough. It takes hard work, brutal honesty and complete vulnerability between 2 people to truly live as one.
I used to think it didn't matter but I believe now days that everyone in a marriage has to be all in with zero secrets if it is going to last. Love isn't enough and plain old trust isn't enough. It takes hard work, brutal honesty and complete vulnerability between 2 people to truly live as one.
Posted on 2/15/16 at 7:25 am to Mullet Flap
My wife and I have vastly different incomes. We each have a checking and savings account. My name is on her accounts but not hers on mine. She takes a portion out of each monthly paycheck and puts it in her savings and the rest is hers to spend on groceries, stuff for kids, etc. I pay the mortgage and all the bills from my account.
Works for us. Ignorance is bliss for her, but she knows she's not a money manager so she basically says, "Pick an amount I need to contribute to savings and I will spend whatever is left in my checking account by month's end."
Works for us. Ignorance is bliss for her, but she knows she's not a money manager so she basically says, "Pick an amount I need to contribute to savings and I will spend whatever is left in my checking account by month's end."
Posted on 2/17/16 at 6:16 am to Mullet Flap
Wife and I have both. My paycheck goes to our joint account. We pay all our bills from our joint account. However, we still have our own accounts for little things here and there.
Posted on 2/17/16 at 10:50 am to Mullet Flap
we have a joint checking account that most stuff gets paid out of, then we each have separate accounts as well. it works for us.
Posted on 2/17/16 at 10:57 am to Mullet Flap
From my anecdotal perspective, I find that married couples that have completely separate accounts don't manage money well.
I've seen instances where couples that have some sort of secondary income (overtime pay, side consulting project, etc.) will keep that out of the household account. Both spouses have access to these, though.
I've seen instances where couples that have some sort of secondary income (overtime pay, side consulting project, etc.) will keep that out of the household account. Both spouses have access to these, though.
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