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Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:18 am
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:18 am
One of my wife's friends is married to a very successful salesman in an engineering field. They live in a big house, take amazing vacations, and have all the other signs of being really wealthy.
They do keep their bank accounts separate and always have. My wife's friend pays for her own car, her own clothes, and the groceries. He covers everything else.
When they started having kids, he said, "It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation" in regards to her staying home. She took a 2 month maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.
They can obviously afford for her to. But he doesn't want to pay for it.
Smart man? Or what?
They do keep their bank accounts separate and always have. My wife's friend pays for her own car, her own clothes, and the groceries. He covers everything else.
When they started having kids, he said, "It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation" in regards to her staying home. She took a 2 month maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.
They can obviously afford for her to. But he doesn't want to pay for it.
Smart man? Or what?
62
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
When they started having kids, he said, "It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation" in regards to her staying home. She took a 2 month maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.
Sounds like he didn’t want to invest in his children. Sad.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to StringedInstruments
Depends on a few things
blended family?
past spending problems?
If answer is NO to both, its a bit odd.
blended family?
past spending problems?
If answer is NO to both, its a bit odd.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to StringedInstruments
I'd have her stay home at least until the kids were in school. If she cooked, cleaned, stayed fit, etc., I'd let her stay home period.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to StringedInstruments
My wife doesn’t want to be home with my kids. All 3 go to daycare. Neither of us wanted her to stay home. It’s not for everybody.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to StringedInstruments
Maybe the wife wants to work and values her professional accomplishments. Every family is different and at the end of the day if they are taking care of their children and raising them right and the couple is happy, that's all that matters in my view.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to StringedInstruments
If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root. Never marry someone with whom you would not share a bank account or who would not share an account with you. That's a trust issue (or lack thereof) that will wreck what is supposed to be the deepest, most sincere, and most sacred relationship on this earth.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?
I thought you said pray.
I don’t understand pay. You don’t have to pay for your wife to stay home.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:23 am to DiamondDog
And I will add. People hate on daycare but my kids are better socialized for it. They problem solve and learn to work with others. Besides sickness, I think it has been beneficial as they have begun preschool.
This post was edited on 4/13/26 at 11:26 am
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:24 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Smart man? Or what?
Every relationship is different. What works for one is impossible in another so there's no way to say one way or another if this is smart or not. You should just mind your own business
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:24 am to StringedInstruments
this dude needs to Oweo treatment.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:25 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
They do keep their bank accounts separate
I stopped right there. They aren’t actually married, they’re roommates with tax benefits.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:26 am to Recognizable Poster
quote:
Maybe the wife wants to work and values her professional accomplishments.
No it was a whole thing. She wants to stay home and thought she would be able to. He wasn't interested.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?
well on the face if it it's pretty presumptuous to think that every man makes enough money to support a family of 3+ on one salary but allowing the mom to not work and stay home. So I disagree right off the bat, however..
quote:
They live in a big house, take amazing vacations, and have all the other signs of being really wealthy.
oh..
quote:
It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation"
quote:
maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.
OH
This guys' an a-hole, plain and simple. A cheap a-hole at that. However, despite him being an a-hole...
quote:
They can obviously afford for her to. But he doesn't want to pay for it.
This isn't anything any of us can weigh in on because we don't know the conversations they've had internally. What does SHE want to do? Just because they CAN afford it doesn't mean they should be forced to. Maybe she wants to work. How shoudl we know
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to StringedInstruments
You didn't mention what she does for a living
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to Swamp Angel
quote:
If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root.
bullshite
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to Swamp Angel
quote:
If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root.
my wife and I have separate accouns, she can access mine if she needs something though, been this way for years, decades even
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:29 am to SallysHuman
quote:
Sounds like he didn’t want to invest in his children. Sad.
Why do we always naturally assume all women are good mothers and children would benefit from being with them all the time?
We always like to think in those terms but in reality it's not always the case. It is possible he was doing what was best for the children. (Provided with no other detail we assume he was providing for the children's needs)
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:29 am to StringedInstruments
He sounds like a peach.
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:31 am to DiamondDog
quote:
My wife doesn’t want to be home with my kids. All 3 go to daycare. Neither of us wanted her to stay home. It’s not for everybody.
This was mine. She tried it, didn't last a month. She made enough and more while she was working to have a live in nanny, but still had time to spend with my girls. Sold her business and retired at 50. Still generates $10k+/month after taxes so it worked out well. Also has a $multimillion 401K that continues to grow.
Worked out well for us, but I have lots of friends whose wives have never worked and don't do shite around the house, AND use the pussy for ransom. F#$k that. My wife will take care of me whenever I want if reasonable.
She also likes to hunt and fish. So I can buy toys for her that are actually for me...with her money!!!
Can't cook for shite, but I knew that going in. Her mom will cook for me though. Gained a few pounds due to some health issues and meds, but working on that now. No complaints except she can't back up a trailer for shite.
This post was edited on 4/13/26 at 11:33 am
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