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Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?

Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:18 am
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
20821 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:18 am
One of my wife's friends is married to a very successful salesman in an engineering field. They live in a big house, take amazing vacations, and have all the other signs of being really wealthy.

They do keep their bank accounts separate and always have. My wife's friend pays for her own car, her own clothes, and the groceries. He covers everything else.

When they started having kids, he said, "It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation" in regards to her staying home. She took a 2 month maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.

They can obviously afford for her to. But he doesn't want to pay for it.

Smart man? Or what?
Posted by SallysHuman
Lady Palmetto Bug
Member since Jan 2025
20485 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to
quote:

When they started having kids, he said, "It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation" in regards to her staying home. She took a 2 month maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.


Sounds like he didn’t want to invest in his children. Sad.
Posted by YumYum Sauce
Arkansas
Member since Nov 2010
9540 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to
Depends on a few things

blended family?

past spending problems?

If answer is NO to both, its a bit odd.
Posted by Night Vision
Member since Feb 2018
21290 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to
I'd have her stay home at least until the kids were in school. If she cooked, cleaned, stayed fit, etc., I'd let her stay home period.

Posted by DiamondDog
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2019
13162 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:20 am to
My wife doesn’t want to be home with my kids. All 3 go to daycare. Neither of us wanted her to stay home. It’s not for everybody.
Posted by Recognizable Poster
Geaux Tigers
Member since Mar 2026
337 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to
Maybe the wife wants to work and values her professional accomplishments. Every family is different and at the end of the day if they are taking care of their children and raising them right and the couple is happy, that's all that matters in my view.
Posted by Swamp Angel
West Georgia Chicken Farm Territory
Member since Jul 2004
10059 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to
If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root. Never marry someone with whom you would not share a bank account or who would not share an account with you. That's a trust issue (or lack thereof) that will wreck what is supposed to be the deepest, most sincere, and most sacred relationship on this earth.
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
44370 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:22 am to
quote:

Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?


I thought you said pray.

I don’t understand pay. You don’t have to pay for your wife to stay home.
Posted by DiamondDog
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2019
13162 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:23 am to
And I will add. People hate on daycare but my kids are better socialized for it. They problem solve and learn to work with others. Besides sickness, I think it has been beneficial as they have begun preschool.
This post was edited on 4/13/26 at 11:26 am
Posted by Beessnax
Member since Nov 2015
11047 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:24 am to
quote:

Smart man? Or what?


Every relationship is different. What works for one is impossible in another so there's no way to say one way or another if this is smart or not. You should just mind your own business
Posted by Klark Kent
Houston via BR
Member since Jan 2008
74514 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:24 am to
this dude needs to Oweo treatment.
Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31476 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:25 am to
quote:

They do keep their bank accounts separate



I stopped right there. They aren’t actually married, they’re roommates with tax benefits.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
20821 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:26 am to
quote:


Maybe the wife wants to work and values her professional accomplishments.


No it was a whole thing. She wants to stay home and thought she would be able to. He wasn't interested.
Posted by WG_Dawg
Member since Jun 2004
90123 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to
quote:

Any thoughts on men who refuse to pay for their wives to stay home with the kids?


well on the face if it it's pretty presumptuous to think that every man makes enough money to support a family of 3+ on one salary but allowing the mom to not work and stay home. So I disagree right off the bat, however..

quote:

They live in a big house, take amazing vacations, and have all the other signs of being really wealthy.


oh..

quote:

It's not my responsibility to pay for your vacation"


quote:

maternity leave with each of their kids that she supplemented with her own savings.


OH

This guys' an a-hole, plain and simple. A cheap a-hole at that. However, despite him being an a-hole...

quote:

They can obviously afford for her to. But he doesn't want to pay for it.


This isn't anything any of us can weigh in on because we don't know the conversations they've had internally. What does SHE want to do? Just because they CAN afford it doesn't mean they should be forced to. Maybe she wants to work. How shoudl we know

Posted by UltimaParadox
North Carolina
Member since Nov 2008
52460 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to
You didn't mention what she does for a living
Posted by WG_Dawg
Member since Jun 2004
90123 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to
quote:

If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root.


bullshite
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
91458 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:28 am to
quote:

If you keep separate bank accounts as a married couple, you've got some serious issues at the root.




my wife and I have separate accouns, she can access mine if she needs something though, been this way for years, decades even
Posted by Snipe
Member since Nov 2015
16422 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:29 am to
quote:

Sounds like he didn’t want to invest in his children. Sad.


Why do we always naturally assume all women are good mothers and children would benefit from being with them all the time?

We always like to think in those terms but in reality it's not always the case. It is possible he was doing what was best for the children. (Provided with no other detail we assume he was providing for the children's needs)
Posted by Benne Wafer
Member since Jan 2015
464 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:29 am to
He sounds like a peach.
Posted by SmackoverHawg
Member since Oct 2011
31568 posts
Posted on 4/13/26 at 11:31 am to
quote:

My wife doesn’t want to be home with my kids. All 3 go to daycare. Neither of us wanted her to stay home. It’s not for everybody.

This was mine. She tried it, didn't last a month. She made enough and more while she was working to have a live in nanny, but still had time to spend with my girls. Sold her business and retired at 50. Still generates $10k+/month after taxes so it worked out well. Also has a $multimillion 401K that continues to grow.

Worked out well for us, but I have lots of friends whose wives have never worked and don't do shite around the house, AND use the pussy for ransom. F#$k that. My wife will take care of me whenever I want if reasonable.

She also likes to hunt and fish. So I can buy toys for her that are actually for me...with her money!!!


Can't cook for shite, but I knew that going in. Her mom will cook for me though. Gained a few pounds due to some health issues and meds, but working on that now. No complaints except she can't back up a trailer for shite.
This post was edited on 4/13/26 at 11:33 am
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