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Message
Gabb vs. Bark vs. iPhone vs. none - What would you recommend for your teen?
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:19 am
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:19 am
We've held off on getting my son (almost 13) a smartphone because of the potential dangers that come with having one. The Anxious Generation is a really important book I think all parents should read. My belief is that kids shouldn't have a fully open smartphone until they're 16, which is what Jonathan Haidt recommends.
But my son has (maturely I might add) presented his case for getting a phone. All of his best friends at school and in the neighborhood have phones. Some are locked iPhones, some are Gabb phones. No one has a Bark phone. One kid I know of has an iPhone without any parental controls. I've noticed when I pick him up from school functions or hangouts that pretty much every kid has a phone in their hand.
Now, I don't really care about every kid jumping off a bridge and my kid needing to as well. But I do care that his best friends have group chats that my son is left out of. He feels like he's missing out on a part of his social life because he doesn't have any kind of phone.
Getting a smartphone that has access to social media or an internet browser is out of the question. But a quick search online reveals that a lot of parental controls can be worked around. I don't see my son as the type to be totally dishonest, but those kinds of things can change quickly as they get into the teenager years.
The Gabb phones have putrid reviews. Poorly made, terrible customer service, and kind of expensive for what you're getting.
Locked iPhones seem to be the most consistent option for quality and kids can learn to grow into their "real" phone as they get older. But, iPhones are only locked down by software and passwords. Getting around them is possible if you really look for ways to do it.
The Bark phone has the best reviews that I've found, so that would probably be my top choice.
My son currently has a Gizmo watch, which has calling, text, and GPS. It's been good for him since he was 9, but he can't text friends and no one talks on the phone anymore.
So what's the OT parent advice? I know I've come to the right place.
But my son has (maturely I might add) presented his case for getting a phone. All of his best friends at school and in the neighborhood have phones. Some are locked iPhones, some are Gabb phones. No one has a Bark phone. One kid I know of has an iPhone without any parental controls. I've noticed when I pick him up from school functions or hangouts that pretty much every kid has a phone in their hand.
Now, I don't really care about every kid jumping off a bridge and my kid needing to as well. But I do care that his best friends have group chats that my son is left out of. He feels like he's missing out on a part of his social life because he doesn't have any kind of phone.
Getting a smartphone that has access to social media or an internet browser is out of the question. But a quick search online reveals that a lot of parental controls can be worked around. I don't see my son as the type to be totally dishonest, but those kinds of things can change quickly as they get into the teenager years.
The Gabb phones have putrid reviews. Poorly made, terrible customer service, and kind of expensive for what you're getting.
Locked iPhones seem to be the most consistent option for quality and kids can learn to grow into their "real" phone as they get older. But, iPhones are only locked down by software and passwords. Getting around them is possible if you really look for ways to do it.
The Bark phone has the best reviews that I've found, so that would probably be my top choice.
My son currently has a Gizmo watch, which has calling, text, and GPS. It's been good for him since he was 9, but he can't text friends and no one talks on the phone anymore.
So what's the OT parent advice? I know I've come to the right place.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:23 am to StringedInstruments
Johnny, would you jump off the bridge if all your friends did?
Here's a roll of quarters for the pay phone.
Here's a roll of quarters for the pay phone.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:23 am to StringedInstruments
We tried Gabb for about a week and it was a pile of shite. I also didnt want my daughter being "the one" without an iphone, so with both of those into consideration, we got an Iphone.
My wife has all kinds of controls on it and there is an app, I think called "bluebird" that my wife can monitor the texts through.
She is in 8th grade and the group chats are huge. The app will alert my wife to any inappropriate photos, certain words, etc. with also giving her the ability to just scroll through.
My wife has all kinds of controls on it and there is an app, I think called "bluebird" that my wife can monitor the texts through.
She is in 8th grade and the group chats are huge. The app will alert my wife to any inappropriate photos, certain words, etc. with also giving her the ability to just scroll through.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:23 am to StringedInstruments
Gabb is terrible. If the child accidentally sets a pattern lock & forgets it you’re screwed. The factory reset didn’t work on their stupid phone
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:23 am to StringedInstruments
We got my 12 year old an Apple watch with cellular. She can text and call her friends. Also has GPS.
Our logic on why we didn't go with the Bark phone, which is what most of her friends have:
1 - I didn't want her to have the option to take pics. Kids are dumb and I don't want her sending pics to her friends yet.
2 - Once she gets a phone, she can still have her watch. Seems like it will have a longer life span.
3 - We wanted to delay the physical attachment to a phone as long as we could. That feeling of always needing your phone on you is what I hate the most.
Our logic on why we didn't go with the Bark phone, which is what most of her friends have:
1 - I didn't want her to have the option to take pics. Kids are dumb and I don't want her sending pics to her friends yet.
2 - Once she gets a phone, she can still have her watch. Seems like it will have a longer life span.
3 - We wanted to delay the physical attachment to a phone as long as we could. That feeling of always needing your phone on you is what I hate the most.
This post was edited on 12/17/25 at 10:25 am
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:25 am to BestBanker
quote:
Here's a roll of quarters for the pay phone.
Not a lot of payphones around anymore. I noticed that about five years ago when I was about to ditch a cell phone altogether.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:26 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Getting a smartphone that has access to social media or an internet browser is out of the question.
Is such a phone even considered smart?
You know your child has been surfing the net at school for years, right?
Just find something that gives you full access and monitor. You don't have to start off fully blocked. Give your child a chance to fail, with your supervision, and adjust accordingly.
Nothing wrong with all smart phone access being visible to you for now.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:31 am to StringedInstruments
I got my twin 11 year old daughters Gabb phones last christmas as an intro to having phones. One of them loves it, the other I have to force her to keep it on her because she has zero interest in a phone without tiktok and youtube. I will probably upgrade them to real phones that I can monitor when they turn 13.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:32 am to StringedInstruments
In my experience, iPhone is easy to get around.
Pinwheel and Bark have some nice features, but ultimately are pretty disappointing.
Frankly, Google Family or whatever they call it has been the best.
But you have it down pretty well: no open access to youtube, internet or social media until at least 16.
For messaging, if you allow WhatsApp, it has some advantages - including it has access to Meta AI that they seem to have really dialed back for a G-rated audience, so he could use that as his browser.
Pinwheel and Bark have some nice features, but ultimately are pretty disappointing.
Frankly, Google Family or whatever they call it has been the best.
But you have it down pretty well: no open access to youtube, internet or social media until at least 16.
For messaging, if you allow WhatsApp, it has some advantages - including it has access to Meta AI that they seem to have really dialed back for a G-rated audience, so he could use that as his browser.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:32 am to StringedInstruments
Unless they have afterschool activities or are “latch key” kids, they don’t “need” a phone.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:33 am to SallysHuman
quote:
Not a lot of payphones around anymore. I noticed that about five years ago when I was about to ditch a cell phone altogether.
They were so ubiquitous,
Now they're all gone.
Somewhere, lonely and forgotten, sits the last Payphone on earth
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:34 am to StringedInstruments
You are never going to prevent your young son from yanking his chain. Add a porn blocker on the WiFi. He will still find an avenue around that.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:40 am to Salmon
quote:
We got my 12 year old an Apple watch with cellular. She can text and call her friends. Also has GPS.
I like this idea. His biggest request is that he has the ability to group text his friends because they apparently are building inside jokes, planning hangouts, and such there. He's completely left out. Is your daughter able to do that?
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:43 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Gabb vs. Bark vs. iPhone vs. none
But do you WUPHF
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:47 am to StringedInstruments
Phones are a part of the world. Raise your kids right and they’ll do the right thing.
They’ll still frick around a be idiots like kids have forever. The worst thing you can do is not let your kids be a part of the world they live in and teach them how to operate within it
They’ll still frick around a be idiots like kids have forever. The worst thing you can do is not let your kids be a part of the world they live in and teach them how to operate within it
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:51 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
He's completely left out. Is your daughter able to do that?
Yes. She texts non stop.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:53 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Getting a smartphone that has access to social media or an internet browser is out of the question. But a quick search online reveals that a lot of parental controls can be worked around. I don't see my son as the type to be totally dishonest, but those kinds of things can change quickly as they get into the teenager years.
My take on this is that you set the parental controls so questionable content does not find your kid. That’s what you have them for.
Nothing is going to stop a kid who is determined to go seek it out, so I’d just remove that from the calculus.
Also, as much as it makes me want to rip my hair out saying this, it’s probably time. I don’t believe any 13 yo needs a smartphone, but if he’s on the outside looking in with his friend group then this might be a “pick your poison” situation. Everyone will have opinions on timing but hear me say you’re not wrong either way you go.
In terms of what to get him, I say get him what you want him to have as cheaply as you can do so and don’t really overthink it much. You can always trade it in and get another later.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 10:57 am to StringedInstruments
I would get the Bark, even if he was the only one with one.
You can get a Bark Phone with the camera disabled, and you can remotely block camera access, app store, web, and games through the Bark dashboard, making it a talk/text-only device if desired, even though the physical camera hardware is present.
The Starter Plan comes locked down with just talk, text, and camera, but parents control everything, including removing camera access entirely, which makes the app disappear and stops camera use in other apps.
You can get a Bark Phone with the camera disabled, and you can remotely block camera access, app store, web, and games through the Bark dashboard, making it a talk/text-only device if desired, even though the physical camera hardware is present.
The Starter Plan comes locked down with just talk, text, and camera, but parents control everything, including removing camera access entirely, which makes the app disappear and stops camera use in other apps.
Posted on 12/17/25 at 11:00 am to Polar Pop
quote:
We tried Gabb for about a week and it was a pile of shite. I also didnt want my daughter being "the one" without an iphone, so with both of those into consideration, we got an Iphone.
My wife has all kinds of controls on it and there is an app, I think called "bluebird" that my wife can monitor the texts through.
She is in 8th grade and the group chats are huge. The app will alert my wife to any inappropriate photos, certain words, etc. with also giving her the ability to just scroll through.
this
Posted on 12/17/25 at 11:00 am to StringedInstruments
We have Bark for our 12 yo. Only because of being home alone for a few hours in the afternoon. You have a lot of controls you can set. All contacts and apps have to be approved, you can set timeframes when everything is shut off, and it tracks location. You can set certain locations to send a notification to my wife and I when my kid arrives or leaves. We get notifications if there is any that might be questionable in a TXT or video. Any picture received is sent to us as well.
I hate this is where we are, but times are different.
All that being said, its not the most reliable OS. We have had several issues.
I hate this is where we are, but times are different.
All that being said, its not the most reliable OS. We have had several issues.
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