Annual Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

Some gems from years Past:
The Mad Fratter

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Last year my pissant cousin decided family Thanksgiving was the perfect time to let his preacher dad know he had been doing meth. Whatever happens this year it can't be that bad.

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toddzilla

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My five year old niece from my crackhead sister in law is about to get a tranquilizer dart in the neck. Other than that, no one is drinking yet, so no fireworks as of now.

ETA: Mrs. Zilla is hitting the wine due to said niece and her Mee Maw calling her fat...

UPDATE: Crackhead Sister in Law is here. Wife is ready to kick her arse. Place your bets...

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Rhino5

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Got food poisoning last night at approximately 1am and unleashed an ungodly hell on the toilet. Gastrointestinal Armageddon is appropriate. Slept on the bathroom floor and I'm sore as shite. Currently being dealt the leper treatment, sitting outside by myself with a fricking piece of bread. Really sucks seeing all that awesome food and not having the guts to eat it. So long as I'm good for the iron bowl. Happy thanksgiving.

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porkrind

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Last year my nephew strolls in and starts calling his much larger/stronger brother a leach for still living in his dads guest house. When the brother finally got pissed off and went after him he yanked out a gun and said "HE WENT FOR MY GUN'.

That loud mouth pussy is not invited this year.

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Jon Ham

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Went for drinks with my wife and her parents last night. Somehow my wife and her mom started talking about how women have it harder than men or some shite. It pissed me off so I reminded them they should be thankful we gave them the right to vote but don’t thank me because it wasn’t me who did it as I would never have voted for it. I tried to say it as a joke but a joke never happened and it was just me basically telling them to STFU. Good times.

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OlGrandad

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While I was getting dressed, wife starts yelling in the kitchen. I go in and the Weimaraner is going through the doggy door.

He had jumped on the counter and was eating the turkey when she walked in.

I am under orders to keep quiet when the company arrives.
This will be known as the "turkey" incident of 2018.

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Hawgnsincebirth55

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Reminds me of how the most trashy part of my family, 3 sisters 2 of which had 4 children out of wedlock (each one had the first one in high school), they smoke, drink excessively have trashy tattoos and none of them have a decent job. It was a milestone last year when one of them graduated nursing school. Well these are the same 3 that will shout out things such as "it's time to say fricking grace!" Or after someone finishes praying, "Hell yeah dig in!". They are loud and obnoxious too. Also their idea of great is chanting and I quote, "God is good, God is great let us thank him for our food, amen." Like they are frickinh children!! God I hate that part of my family.

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VolInBavaria

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It's me and my GF's first Thanksgiving together. She's on her period and has been in a god awful mood all damn day. We were an hour late to her families dinner because she couldn't get her makeup to look right. I don't drink but I may start

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rich4pres

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My wife's sister is mad at my wife. My wife is crying. My son refuses to take a nap. And I am an arse for going to rake the leaves. And it is only Wednesday.

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rich4pres

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Well, part one at my side of the family is done. Here is how the conversation went with me and my uncle.
Uncle: "I can tell money has been good for you. You have gotten fat."
Me: "Oh, how you doin? So, are you still cheating on your wife? "
That was it. We stayed an hour.

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Whelp, kicked an in-law out of my house alreadyPosted by TDsngumbo ? ? on 11/28/19 at 3:18 pm

She verbally attacked my wife in MY house. It’s one thing to do that in general but don’t come into my house and do it. I feel bad that things escalated the way they did but my wife is my queen. Hopefully we amend things soon.


Happy Thanksgiving, fellas.

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thekid

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Had my wife’s cousins invite themselves over for thanksgiving because they just got back from Bali and they are too tired to cook. Couple with a 6 and 10 yr who are the worst two kids I’ve ever dealt with. I literally hate the 6 year old boy. His parents never correct him and he is such a little a-hole. I truly believe he will become a serial killer...I told the wife we should start using his middle name to give him a head start.

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Byrdybyrd05

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We are at my cousin's house in Mississippi for thanksgiving. All the family is over and he has a Apple TV and used his phone to AirPlay pictures of different family pictures he had from over the years. After he did the slideshow he went to the bathroom.
All of the sudden porn just came on the tv and loud as hell and the dude is just roasting some girl. All the family like what the hell and his wife ran to the bathroom and starts banging on the door "are you jacking off in there" he was like huh nooooo. what he forgot to do was take AirPlay off his phone so whatever he is looking at on his phone goes to the Apple TV. Now his wife is pissed and embarrassed and now tomorrow when we all meet for thanksgiving with all the family is going to be really aqward.
For me I loved it I thought it was the funniest thing ever. He came out like a hour later being embarrassed and I asked him dude what was that. He told me he hasnt have sex with his wife in weeks and said he was gonna do him lol. Now when all the family comes over tomorrow he doesn't want to be there.
I told him just blame your wife and say well if we just had sex none of this would of ever happen lol.

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Have a relative that gets too drunk every year and starts running his mouth. Usually starts some shite. Keep yall posted

During Covid we had a poster who had family that would eat outside because of the virus.

Page 1. LFG!!!

In. Most anticipated thread of the year.

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This fricker gets a private breakfast in bed on Christmas Eve morning! He then gets up around 12:15, comes and flops down on the couch and starts texting/fricking around on his phone.

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Alpha AF.

From 2020

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Posted by dbeck 11/25/20 at 10:51 pm to pioneerbasketball

I just moved into a duplex and my next door neighbor's (30 year old) daughter (no pics, OT 1.2) was visiting and came to say hi to me. I went outside to talk to her for a bit. I had a glass of scotch and she asked to try it. She ended up coming inside and getting drunk and we fricked and now I hear her and her mom having an argument next door

This chick couldn't hold her alcohol. Only had about 3 shots of whiskey and went back to her mom's with her shirt on inside out and a cum stain on the front of it. I tried to convince her to turn her shirt right side out but she was too drunk to listen.

I'm just kind of in shock right now. I really need to start making better decisions.

I'm not good at judging weight but I'd say between 180 and 240.

Eta: They stopped yelling at each other so that's good. Now I just need to avoid the mom until my lease is up

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And 2020's SEC dragonmaster with the stripper coming to Thanksgiving, but was late because the boyfriend stopped at a tattoo parlor to get a nipple pierced.

I regret that I will more than likely will not have anything good to report since the bitch SIL has already stated that she refuses to come over to visit her sister (my wife), and me and her own parents visiting here from South Mississippi.
Only small story is that in driving them up today, the MIL had "issues" which forced us to stop 6 times at roadside gas stations during a 4+ hour trip.