Yearly Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

Some gems from years Past:
The Mad Fratter

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Last year my pissant cousin decided family Thanksgiving was the perfect time to let his preacher dad know he had been doing meth. Whatever happens this year it can't be that bad.

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toddzilla

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My five year old niece from my crackhead sister in law is about to get a tranquilizer dart in the neck. Other than that, no one is drinking yet, so no fireworks as of now.

ETA: Mrs. Zilla is hitting the wine due to said niece and her Mee Maw calling her fat...

UPDATE: Crackhead Sister in Law is here. Wife is ready to kick her arse. Place your bets...

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Rhino5

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Got food poisoning last night at approximately 1am and unleashed an ungodly hell on the toilet. Gastrointestinal Armageddon is appropriate. Slept on the bathroom floor and I'm sore as shite. Currently being dealt the leper treatment, sitting outside by myself with a fricking piece of bread. Really sucks seeing all that awesome food and not having the guts to eat it. So long as I'm good for the iron bowl. Happy thanksgiving.

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porkrind

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Last year my nephew strolls in and starts calling his much larger/stronger brother a leach for still living in his dads guest house. When the brother finally got pissed off and went after him he yanked out a gun and said "HE WENT FOR MY GUN'.

That loud mouth pussy is not invited this year.

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Jon Ham

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Went for drinks with my wife and her parents last night. Somehow my wife and her mom started talking about how women have it harder than men or some shite. It pissed me off so I reminded them they should be thankful we gave them the right to vote but don’t thank me because it wasn’t me who did it as I would never have voted for it. I tried to say it as a joke but a joke never happened and it was just me basically telling them to STFU. Good times.

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OlGrandad

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While I was getting dressed, wife starts yelling in the kitchen. I go in and the Weimaraner is going through the doggy door.

He had jumped on the counter and was eating the turkey when she walked in.

I am under orders to keep quiet when the company arrives.
This will be known as the "turkey" incident of 2018.

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Hawgnsincebirth55

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Reminds me of how the most trashy part of my family, 3 sisters 2 of which had 4 children out of wedlock (each one had the first one in high school), they smoke, drink excessively have trashy tattoos and none of them have a decent job. It was a milestone last year when one of them graduated nursing school. Well these are the same 3 that will shout out things such as "it's time to say fricking grace!" Or after someone finishes praying, "Hell yeah dig in!". They are loud and obnoxious too. Also their idea of great is chanting and I quote, "God is good, God is great let us thank him for our food, amen." Like they are frickinh children!! God I hate that part of my family.

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VolInBavaria

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It's me and my GF's first Thanksgiving together. She's on her period and has been in a god awful mood all damn day. We were an hour late to her families dinner because she couldn't get her makeup to look right. I don't drink but I may start

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rich4pres

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My wife's sister is mad at my wife. My wife is crying. My son refuses to take a nap. And I am an arse for going to rake the leaves. And it is only Wednesday.

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rich4pres

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Well, part one at my side of the family is done. Here is how the conversation went with me and my uncle.
Uncle: "I can tell money has been good for you. You have gotten fat."
Me: "Oh, how you doin? So, are you still cheating on your wife? "
That was it. We stayed an hour.

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Whelp, kicked an in-law out of my house alreadyPosted by TDsngumbo ? ? on 11/28/19 at 3:18 pm

She verbally attacked my wife in MY house. It’s one thing to do that in general but don’t come into my house and do it. I feel bad that things escalated the way they did but my wife is my queen. Hopefully we amend things soon.


Happy Thanksgiving, fellas.

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thekid

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Had my wife’s cousins invite themselves over for thanksgiving because they just got back from Bali and they are too tired to cook. Couple with a 6 and 10 yr who are the worst two kids I’ve ever dealt with. I literally hate the 6 year old boy. His parents never correct him and he is such a little a-hole. I truly believe he will become a serial killer...I told the wife we should start using his middle name to give him a head start.

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It pissed me off so I reminded them they should be thankful we gave them the right to vote but don’t thank me because it wasn’t me who did it as I would never have voted for it.

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This makes me every time I read it.

Forgot which poster this was. He had family that wouldnt eat in the house because of the virus so they would eat outside in the back yard.

Will post more quotes/posts from years past later.

Holy shite. That’s crazy

MIL prepares food for about 40 and 8-11 show as a maximum. Every year we discuss it and decide on a sane amount of food. She starts adding stuff about 2 weeks before and then here we are again. But, I eat like a king for a week or so. LOL

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MIL prepares food for about 40 and 8-11 show as a maximum. Every year we discuss it and decide on a sane amount of food.

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My Aunt and Uncle are the same way. They prep like they're feeding the LSU football team and only a dozen or so people are ever there. Plenty of leftovers though!

Oh I’ve been waiting for this one!

Arguing whether football or soccer (World Cup) should be on the TV will be a nice added twist this year.