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re: Coworker of mine is getting a divorce
Posted on 4/24/24 at 6:16 pm to MintBerry Crunch
Posted on 4/24/24 at 6:16 pm to MintBerry Crunch
quote:always one commonality: selfishness
Sometimes marriages fail.
Posted on 4/24/24 at 6:18 pm to Will Cover
quote:
Having friends who are divorced increases your risk of divorce. People are 75% more likely to end their marriage if a friend is divorced. The marital stability within a couple's social network also play a role in whether their union lasts. Having friends who are divorced can greatly increase your chances of becoming divorced yourself, according to a research team from Brown University
One of the most underestimated aspects of marriage is the culture around it.
Also growing up as a kid in a pro-marriage culture helps a lot when you get to that point as you know what it looks like and what to expect.
If your wife/husband is hanging around singles who do "singles" type activities, expect singles type behaviors.
This post was edited on 4/24/24 at 6:21 pm
Posted on 4/24/24 at 6:45 pm to Indefatigable
quote:
Divorcing your wife because she is struggling with postpartum depression is even worse.
Maybe but the pattern I’ve seen is ppd wife being crazy, freezing out and/or emasculating the husband, who tries to work it out but finally gives up and strays to a chick that actually doesn’t treat him like garbage.
Posted on 4/24/24 at 6:48 pm to teke184
quote:who gives a shite. Tell that baw congrats on no more headaces
Context of why they are getting a divorce?
Posted on 4/24/24 at 7:06 pm to grizzlylongcut
quote:
Coworker of mine is getting a divorce
quote:
6 mos old
Posted on 4/24/24 at 8:28 pm to Will Cover
While I believe the statistics, maybe our friend group is an anomaly. We have 15-20 mutual college friends. All are married and have been married for minimum 3 years going on 10. No divorces. Our country club group, 7-8 families and unsure their marriage lengths, no divorces.
Either we’re at the point where they start or we’re in a simulation outside of the statistics population.
Either we’re at the point where they start or we’re in a simulation outside of the statistics population.
Posted on 4/24/24 at 8:31 pm to Rebel
quote:
Either it came out “different” than he expected or he seriously fricked up.
Or they were having problems before having another baby and the stress of another baby didn’t make things better. It happens. Certainly not ideal but it doesn’t mean anyone seriously fricked up either
Posted on 4/24/24 at 8:35 pm to Will Cover
quote:
Having friends who are divorced increases your risk of divorce. People are 75% more likely to end their marriage if a friend is divorced. The marital stability within a couple's social network also play a role in whether their union lasts.
There is creedence to this. Me and my wife will celebrate 20 years in October. Her cousin and husband celebrate 20 two weeks after us. And her best friend from college and husband celebrated 20.years last winter.
I also have a few friends who are still married to their high school sweethearts 25 years after we graduated.
Posted on 4/24/24 at 9:05 pm to grizzlylongcut
Been there. Kids were 6, 4, and 1. It sucks for sure. But better days will come.
Posted on 4/24/24 at 9:39 pm to Rendevoustavern
quote:
While I believe the statistics, maybe our friend group is an anomaly. We have 15-20 mutual college friends. All are married and have been married for minimum 3 years going on 10. No divorces. Our country club group, 7-8 families and unsure their marriage lengths, no divorces. Either we’re at the point where they start or we’re in a simulation outside of the statistics population.
Sounds very similar to our situation. Zero people in our social circle are divorced, and we’re mid-thirties with most of us having been married for ~10 years. These are high school friends, college friends, grad school friends, and friends made after college (neighbors, church, hobbies, etc…). But, we are all also upper middle class+, and not trashy
Posted on 4/24/24 at 10:22 pm to AUFANATL
quote:
....when he got a girlfriend, he flat out told her marriage was a one-time thing for him but she was welcome to hang around as long as she wanted provided she understood that he would never marry again.
If it flies, floats, or fricks, it's cheaper to rent it.
Fact is, I've accumulated some wealth over the years. That wealth will eventually belong to MY kids, not some other woman and HER kids.
This post was edited on 4/24/24 at 10:24 pm
Posted on 4/24/24 at 10:38 pm to bobaftt1212
quote:
its generally the wives doing the divorcing
Coincides with its generally the wife that gets the benefits of the divorce
Posted on 4/25/24 at 6:59 am to Cosmo
quote:Probably the cause of 85% of divorces. You can be the best husband in the world and this can still happen to you, especially if you marry a western woman.
she “just not happy anymore?”
Posted on 4/25/24 at 7:36 am to Will Cover
quote:
56 % of marriages end in divorce. That is the ones that end in divorce. What percentage stay together for the kids? Or stay together because they don’t want to give away half their shite? Another 10 % - that is conservative. Let’s say 20 %. You now have a “technology” that fails nearly 76 % of the time. That is insane. That’s more likely than not. If I told you there was 76 % chance that when you go outside you’re going to get hit with a bowling ball, you would not go out, or you would wear a helmet. But people just continue to get married and there is a presumption that you should get married, and if you don’t get married, “What is wrong with you?”
Divorce doesn’t “just happen” like a random piece of space debris hitting your house. It’s not random.
The majority of adults end up obese or overweight. Does this mean you personally are likely to end up that way simply because of “statistics” or do you have some control over that outcome?
Posted on 4/25/24 at 7:52 am to thegambler
quote:
Best damn thing to happen to me and my kids. They deserve to see me happy and to not be a witness to continuous arguments over BS. But my ex was/is a pill-popping, heavy drinking POS cheater and thief.
Sometimes escape is good!
Same
Posted on 4/25/24 at 8:23 am to MRTigerFan
Divorce wrecks kids. Even in the best of environments with parents being civil and doing everything they can for the benefit of the kid, the kids are still largely impacted. I've coached a lot of younger age groups through the years, kids from broken homes aren't the same. I've coached kids before, during, and after the divorce and they are completely different kids at the end of it.
Knowing that, I try to make my marriage a priority so that my kids don't have to grow up that way. All I can do is try though, if she wants to hit the road she is going to go no matter what I do.
Knowing that, I try to make my marriage a priority so that my kids don't have to grow up that way. All I can do is try though, if she wants to hit the road she is going to go no matter what I do.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 8:40 am to wheelz007
quote:
Facts. 70-80% of the time it's the woman leaving
Yeah, but it’s also a fact that the woman is almost always the first one who tries to initiate marriage counseling, marriage retreats, or even brings up the fact that the marriage is in a bad place to begin with.
Women are more likely to try to fix the marriage before they leave. Men are more likely to try to tough it out and stay in unsatisfying marriage.
So I don’t think that stat is really indicative of what a lot of people think.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 8:52 am to BoogaBear
quote:
Divorce wrecks kids. Even in the best of environments with parents being civil and doing everything they can for the benefit of the kid, the kids are still largely impacted
Agreed. If there are children involved everything should be done to save it unless there are issues like infidelity, physical/emotional abuse, drug/alcohol abuse etc. That requires both people being committed to trying to salvage it though.
My parents were divorced. They divorced when I was a little bit older, maybe 12-13. I definitely ran a little wild as a teenager. It was hard on my younger sister for awhile.
We all turned out fine, but we had a strong father figure and very involved grandparents that lived nearby.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:18 am to Scientific73
quote:
Let me guess. The wife is gonna say, "We just grew apart."
That's what mine said.
Posted on 4/25/24 at 9:35 am to Tantal
quote:
Mrs. Tantal has terminal cancer and isn't likely to last too much longer.
damn, bro... sorry to hear this
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