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Dating as a 40 Year Old Man, How Realistic is it?

Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:18 am
Posted by TheMountaineer
Member since Apr 2024
18 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:18 am
I know these threads are always around and it's probably been beaten to death, but put me in the group that's struggling right now.

Just turned 40 a few months ago and the dating scene seems pretty hopeless at this point. I'll admit a good amount of my situation is my own doing. I was definitely one of those immature boys in my 20s and even early 30s who didn't really know what I wanted and was afraid of commitment. I know in many ways I wasted my prime dating years.

After not bothering for a few years I decided to start using dating apps again. Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating, they are all a joke.

Many will say to meet a woman the traditional way, but is that even possible anymore? Let's look at it. 50, 40, 30, even 20 years ago there were essentially 5 traditional ways to meet a woman:

1) At Church/Religious Group
2) Through Family/Friends
3) At Work
4) Through Social Clubs/Groups
5) Bar/Club Scene

Considering that most of America is going away from religion the idea of meeting through "Church/Religious Group" seem slim to none. I'm religious but don't go regularly anyway. I also don't know a single person who met that way.

In the past through family and friends would've been a good angle but with most families not knowing as many people anymore it's hard. Needless to say in my case I've not met anyone through family and friends and the likelihood of that is slim to none.

Work until 10 years ago was a legitimate way to meet women. We see our coworkers at work more often and for longer periods of time than our family and friends. But in the post #MeToo era meeting through work is off limits and all but over.

Social Groups are a good option but less people are participating in those. Plus I feel too old to meet someone that way. And the bar/club scene has never been good unless you just want a quick hookup.

By and large in the post Covid world it's just the dating apps and those just suck the life out of me. They are completely awful.

With all that said, is it really possible for me as a 40 year old man (or any man in their 40s) to meet a decent looking kind woman anymore or am I pretty much done for?
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 7:21 am
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
127369 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:21 am to
I hope you have money.
Posted by TheMountaineer
Member since Apr 2024
18 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:22 am to
quote:

I hope you have money.


I make decent money but I'm no OT baller if that's what you are insinuating. Definitely middle class, so not going to get a woman simply by money.
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 7:23 am
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
73200 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:22 am to
Of course it's possible. Tough love time man, but you're looking for reasons to put yourself down. Hit the gym, join hobby groups for stuff you enjoy, and make sure you have your shite together. A stable dude in his 40s with stuff going for him is quite the catch.
Posted by Boudreauboudreaugoly
Land of the Rice n Son
Member since Oct 2017
1799 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:23 am to
quote:

1) At Church/Religious Group
2) Through Family/Friends
3) At Work
4) Through Social Clubs/Groups
5) Bar/Club Scene

6) In rehab/AA meetings

FIFY
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 7:24 am
Posted by GatorPA84
PNW
Member since Sep 2016
5204 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:23 am to
Go to the gym and chat up the fit cutie in the squat rack..
Posted by tigerfan84
Member since Dec 2003
21776 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:25 am to
How big of a city do you live in?
Posted by NATidefan
Two hours North of Birmingham
Member since Dec 2008
36487 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:25 am to
Take a yoga, etc class, start helping out at pet shelters, start coaching kids sports (all these women are going to have kids anyway).

Learn to talk to women.
Posted by ronricks
Member since Mar 2021
8218 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:26 am to
quote:

With all that said, is it really possible for me as a 40 year old man (or any man in their 40s) to meet a decent looking kind woman anymore or am I pretty much done for?


First, get off dating apps if you haven't already.. Most the women on there have been fricked and ghosted by just about every man they meet. They are essentially cum dumpsters.

Second, what are your measurables? Are you in shape? Tall? Have a decent to good career? If you are going bald or thinning just shave your head.

You need to be in shape and get out more and just talk to people. You are 100% correct about Covid impacting the dating scene people don't go out as much and when they do they are glued to their iPhone etc.
Posted by Longhorn Actual
Member since Dec 2023
1613 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:26 am to
quote:

A stable dude in his 40s with stuff going for him is quite the catch.


And don't be surprised at the age ranges coming after you, especially on the young end. Mid-20s gals will hunt you down if you're in good shape and don't act like the video game playing nerds their age.
Posted by Colonel Flagg
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2010
23183 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:26 am to
Do your job and be happy
Go to church and vonlunteer
Go to the gym
Try to still hang out with friends that are couples


People are attracted to people that are happy and have their shite together. Don’t focus on it and it is more likely to manifest itself.
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 7:28 am
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
127369 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:27 am to
Just talk to women you find attractive where ever you go. Smile, makes them laugh. Be gregarious.

If it's somewhere you'll both be often, strike up a conversation each time and build rapport, and after a few times get her number and see where it goes.

If you might not ever see her again, shoot your shot and try to see if she wants to go somewhere for coffee or whatever or at least get her number.

Don't get discouraged. Just keep at it. Don't be desperate, you'll reek of it.
Posted by LSU Grad Alabama Fan
369 Cardboard Box Lane
Member since Nov 2019
11545 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:27 am to
quote:

Dating as a 40 Year Old Man, How Realistic is it?


The more attractive you are, the harder it is to find someone attractive enough to date.

quote:

1) At Church/Religious Group


The majority of these women are leftovers. The one or two that are attractive are looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist.

quote:

2) Through Family/Friends


Most of these people assume since you're single that you're willing to date any single female.

quote:

3) At Work


Never do this unless you plan on changing jobs soon.

quote:

4) Through Social Clubs/Groups


Your best option to find a compatible mate.

quote:

5) Bar/Club Scene


Go here if you're a wanting a short term fling with a girl that is probably not compatible enough to marry.
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
29955 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:27 am to
Seems that the dating pool is pretty strong for your age range, IF you are willing to deal with step kids…
If you are looking for a single, never married, attractive woman in that age range that wants to settle down now; picking will be super slim

Posted by TejasHorn
High Plains Driftin'
Member since Mar 2007
11513 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:28 am to
Eh, 40 really is the new 30.

People are waiting later and later to date seriously and get married.

If you can’t find a date at 40 it’s probably best to enter the gym before you enter the pool.
Posted by LSU Grad Alabama Fan
369 Cardboard Box Lane
Member since Nov 2019
11545 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:29 am to
quote:


Go to the gym and chat up the fit cutie in the squat rack..


Just ignore her arm and leg tattoos.
Posted by saintsfan1977
West Monroe, from Cajun country
Member since Jun 2010
8307 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:29 am to
quote:

With all that said, is it really possible for me as a 40 year old man (or any man in their 40s) to meet a decent looking kind woman anymore


Absolutely. I did it. Met her online. Had to go through a number of them though to find one I would take my kids around. Dated them from 30 years old to 47. The 47 year old was the one I've been with for 3 years now. She's pretty and has a great personality. They're all nuts but I deal with her craziness better than the others I found.

I went on dates with meth heads to Bible thumpers, and everything in between. Dated a few decent girls for a couple months but none were worth staying with. I found my legitimate person. It's scary how alike we are and have telepathy with each other and can be states away from each other.

Jump in the pool bruh.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
127369 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:29 am to
quote:

If you are looking for a single, never married, attractive woman in that age range that wants to settle down now; picking will be super slim



Hence why older men dating younger women has been common throughout history
Posted by EZE Tiger Fan
Member since Jul 2004
51832 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:30 am to
quote:

And don't be surprised at the age ranges coming after you, especially on the young end. Mid-20s gals will hunt you down if you're in good shape and don't act like the video game playing nerds their age.


This guy gets it.

I'm having the time of my life dating at almost 50.
Posted by blueboy
Member since Apr 2006
58007 posts
Posted on 4/15/24 at 7:30 am to
quote:

single, never married, attractive woman in that age range
are poison. Baw needs to go as young as he can get away with. 40 year old party girls will never be happy.
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