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Started By
Message
re: Things you swear by
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:36 pm to bayouteche
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:36 pm to bayouteche
In-state college tuition
Honda small engines
Bushmills Irish whiskey
Honda small engines
Bushmills Irish whiskey
0
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:37 pm to Ed Osteen
The moon and the stars up above
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:38 pm to sqerty
quote:I'll beeeee there (I'll be there)
The moon and the stars in the sky
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:42 pm to braves21
Pregnant sex.
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:48 pm to Jake88
quote:
What? You have to be an angry, ignorant 14 year old.
Right? Damn near every species on earth kills one another
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:49 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
you should kill yourself for your poetry
You Laugh, but I actually wrote a little gallows humor rhyme about that very thing.
And it even gives a TD specific shout out.
This is your fault
And yes, it ends with my (the narrator's) execution, so you can take pleasure in that.
Seven Souls
Well seven souls sat in a prison cell,
On charges that were brought,
Yes they had been condemned to die,
They were a sorry lot,
Murder, arson, rape and more,
All awful crimes considered,
But number seven was the worst, his charge was that he littered
The headsman walked into the room,
Said to the first, "you're dang-ed ."
"I've just the rope to stretch your neck,
For you are to be hang-ed."
"And number 2, we'll just for you,
I've sharpened up me axe,
Your head will roll off with your soul,
For ye did not pay tax."
To number 3, said, "here ye see,
My darling flensing blade,
I hope that it's a-peeling,
For you are to be flayed."
"Aye lad, you don't deserve this,"
To murd'rin' number four,
"They've brought an awful poet,
And you to death he'll bore."
Then with a little titter, he said to quailing Five,
"For crimes of subpar cooking, ye shall be boiled alive,
But come now lad, it's not so bad,
Let's just see how the day goes,
We're adding in some carrot skins,
Peas, parsnips and potatoes."
Then six stood in defiance, said,
"Is this some sort of joke?
I burned down half the town, jaywalked,
And sodomized a bloke,
I've done at least a thousand crimes,
Don't make this any long'a."
The headsman raised pineapples up,
Said, "Death by Onga-Bonga."
At last you see, he turned to me,
Said, "You're the worst of all 'em,
Yeah you'll get just what you deserve,
I sees 'em like I call 'em."
"But mercif'lly I'll do it quick,
Be gone before you know,
I'll squish your skull just like a grape,
With one warhammer blow."
And so they led us off to die,
Towards cauldron, block and gibbet,
But worst, see, was the poetry,
Twas such a grim exhibit,
For sure he'd killed, but even still,
A horrid way to go,
The poet read 'til his ears bled,
His name was Cocomo,
The fruits were shoved, and cook made grub,
The headsman was a-flaying,
The noose it jerked, his axe did work,
With jaunty tunes a-playing,
Now I was next but was I vexed?,
Nay, be I fool or felon,
The headsman said, "I'll smash your head,
Just like it were a melon."
He raised his hammer high,
And with a smile went I,
He brought his hammer down upon my head,
But my brow did not break,
He'd made one last mistake,
His mighty blow just bounced right off instead,
The judge said I was free,
He gets one shot you see,
And on that very night well I was wedded,
How did I keep my life?
You need only ask my wife,
She'll say there's none alive that's more...
Hard-headed.
This post was edited on 4/13/24 at 1:56 pm
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:53 pm to fr33manator
quote:
This is your fault
this shite kills me everytime
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:55 pm to fr33manator
Admins doing work to block out the hate. Good luck, boys, they’re obsessed with it.
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:58 pm to braves21
Marg on the rocks on a sunny day
Marty Robbins
Mowing dew off the grass in the early morn
After dinner drinks
Singing hymns with vigor
Reading hard copy subscriptions
Heater on with windows cracked on a cold day
Whole bean
Dessert after cigar
Marty Robbins
Mowing dew off the grass in the early morn
After dinner drinks
Singing hymns with vigor
Reading hard copy subscriptions
Heater on with windows cracked on a cold day
Whole bean
Dessert after cigar
This post was edited on 4/13/24 at 1:59 pm
Posted on 4/13/24 at 1:59 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
this shite kills me everytime
I actually wasn't planning on sharing it on here (even though this is the only place that would get the Cocomo reference) but you forced my hand. It was fun to write
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:11 pm to fr33manator
haiku threads were dope
Thunderdome in highest form
oweo sucks arse
Thunderdome in highest form
oweo sucks arse
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:23 pm to braves21
quote:
Things you swear by
A motherfrickin' Weber Kettle.
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:24 pm to Pandy Fackler
quote:
A motherfrickin' Weber Kettle.
Pretty much all I grill on with Royal Oak lump charcoal.
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:26 pm to braves21
quote:
Apple (iPhone and MacBook)
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:32 pm to Rouge
quote:
blue plate in your community coffee?
Maybe another blue plate name out there I don't know about. Mayonnaise?
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:36 pm to chili pup
Pussy is undefeated.
The feel of a fish on the end of a line is one of life's great pleasures. The hope of how many fish might be in a hoop net can give a man a reason to try.
The feel of a fish on the end of a line is one of life's great pleasures. The hope of how many fish might be in a hoop net can give a man a reason to try.
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:37 pm to braves21
Non ethanol fuel
Synthetic Oil
Ivermectin
Synthetic Oil
Ivermectin
Posted on 4/13/24 at 2:53 pm to braves21
V8 engines
Milwaukee Tools
Shimano fishing reels
Kentucky Bourbon
Wrangler jeans
Milwaukee Tools
Shimano fishing reels
Kentucky Bourbon
Wrangler jeans
Posted on 4/13/24 at 3:06 pm to braves21
Metamucil
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