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re: Anyone do volunteer coaching for youth sports…does it ever get better?
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:43 pm to CunningLinguist
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:43 pm to CunningLinguist
I coach my daughter's 6-7 year old basketball team. We aren't very good. But it's still been a (mostly) enjoyable experience. The parents, for the most part, have been appreciative of the efforts. We've have a few "murmurs" about bad coaching. But I've laughed it off while really wanting to say "I can't teach your kid how to be a great basketball player in one, one-hour practice a week. Especially when she's more interested in staring off into the distance or just doing whatever the hell she wants the entire time".
Girls have been a bit tough because there is ALWAYS a point in the middle of every game where someone starts crying. Sometimes it's because of a jammed finger (understandable). Sometimes it's because you had the "audacity" to tell one of the girls that while you appreciate the effort, she can't tackle a player on the opposing team while they are trying to shoot.
Overall, it's been fun to watch (most of) the girls get better as the season's gone along. It's fun to watch them get really excited when they do something well. But most personally it's been fun to develop and share a bond with my daughter. She likes basketball. It's enjoyable to watch her accept coaching and work to put it in action. She doesn't complain about being coached and is proud when she does something the way she was coached to do it. It's fun to watch her want to go outside and play. It's fun to listen to her come home from school and proudly tell me that she played basketball at recess against the boys. It's become out little connection. Something both she and I can share independent of her mother and siblings. To me, THAT is the reward far more than any success on the court.
Now, I don't think I could coach as simply a volunteer without a child on the team.
Girls have been a bit tough because there is ALWAYS a point in the middle of every game where someone starts crying. Sometimes it's because of a jammed finger (understandable). Sometimes it's because you had the "audacity" to tell one of the girls that while you appreciate the effort, she can't tackle a player on the opposing team while they are trying to shoot.
Overall, it's been fun to watch (most of) the girls get better as the season's gone along. It's fun to watch them get really excited when they do something well. But most personally it's been fun to develop and share a bond with my daughter. She likes basketball. It's enjoyable to watch her accept coaching and work to put it in action. She doesn't complain about being coached and is proud when she does something the way she was coached to do it. It's fun to watch her want to go outside and play. It's fun to listen to her come home from school and proudly tell me that she played basketball at recess against the boys. It's become out little connection. Something both she and I can share independent of her mother and siblings. To me, THAT is the reward far more than any success on the court.
Now, I don't think I could coach as simply a volunteer without a child on the team.
2
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:44 pm to CunningLinguist
No but I referee’d for a bit when I was right out of college, some AAU and some 14U rec league
The 14U rec league was wild. 100% the parents were the problem
The 14U rec league was wild. 100% the parents were the problem
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:46 pm to WonPercent
Choose your team wisely
It starts with making sure the moms are all OT 10's
It starts with making sure the moms are all OT 10's
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:47 pm to texn
quote:
And when that one kid who is the worst player & you give them extra coaching makes a good play...all makes it worth while.
See that is what I enjoyed in my brief time doing this. The worst kid on the team is very attentive and has started making improvements at practice. She has a great attitude. That part is fun.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:51 pm to lsu777
quote:
same goes for work, most productive doesnt always mean hardest worker, but you reward production, then hard work and then you sit low producers to try and motivate them. still should play just not as much, atleast by 9/10.
I coach U7 soccer. I play the best players most, but everyone plays. I've had parents kindly ask me to play their kid more because their kid was sad and I did it...but not dramatically more PT.
I do reward hustle though because at that age, hustle is how you win. Very few kids actually have great skill.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:51 pm to Alt26
I've coached 3 of my sons in rec baseball, a couple of rec all-star teams (a dying breed), and been an assistant on one of the tournament ball teams.
Still coaching my youngest son this spring which will be our last. He's still in rec at age 12 and not a candidate for travel ball. And even if he was we're not up for it any more unless he was both exceptional and had a huge work ethic for it.
The ages I coached were 7-12. My experience has been mostly good, whether we went undefeated (once) or had a losing record (more than once). Yes, parents can be annoying, but I always tried to pull in the chattiest dad as an assistant. That either shuts them up or they get a much better appreciation of things.
I try to plan out as the games start up several lineups that give most everyone equal time on the bench. I also bench kids who don't have a good attitude, and I make sure their parents know why they got benched. I haven't had a parent disagree with me yet when you inform them kindly and also let everyone know in those first few practices what will get them benched.
Most parents appreciate the volunteer effort and are reasonable.
Still coaching my youngest son this spring which will be our last. He's still in rec at age 12 and not a candidate for travel ball. And even if he was we're not up for it any more unless he was both exceptional and had a huge work ethic for it.
The ages I coached were 7-12. My experience has been mostly good, whether we went undefeated (once) or had a losing record (more than once). Yes, parents can be annoying, but I always tried to pull in the chattiest dad as an assistant. That either shuts them up or they get a much better appreciation of things.
I try to plan out as the games start up several lineups that give most everyone equal time on the bench. I also bench kids who don't have a good attitude, and I make sure their parents know why they got benched. I haven't had a parent disagree with me yet when you inform them kindly and also let everyone know in those first few practices what will get them benched.
Most parents appreciate the volunteer effort and are reasonable.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:52 pm to Alt26
quote:
ometimes it's because you had the "audacity" to tell one of the girls that while you appreciate the effort, she can't tackle a player on the opposing team while they are trying to shoot.
Haha I have a couple of guys that I beg to play more aggressive. I tell them I'd LOVE a flag for accidentally knocking over the ball carrier while going for the flag!
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:54 pm to CunningLinguist
Parent's Guide to Youth Soccer
quote:
Children have four basic emotional needs in organized sports
1. To be treated like children, not miniature professionals
2. To be treated like children, not miniature professionals
3. Adult role models whose sportsmanlike behavior helps make participation fun
4. To play without unhealthy pressure to win imposed by parents and coaches
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:55 pm to lsu777
quote:
better kids should play period because they are the ones that are working harder. Reward hard work.
What age group are you talking about?
What about making sure the kids like the game and want to continue playing?
Excluding missing practice, the "good kids" shouldn't get 90% of the playing time because the adult coach is chasing a plastic ring (not saying that is you). THe goal of coaching young kids (5-9) is to make sure they learn the game, have fun, and want to continue playing the game.
My older son is 9 and is just starting to put it all together with baseball. His swing is much more natural and his throwing is advancing as well. However, because he wasn't a world beater at 6, he was excluded from the "good" teams and never given a chance. That is the problem with youth sports, especially in Baton Rouge. The coaches are the ones that care about the plastic rings, not hte kids. And the coaches only play kids to win, not to actually teach them (also known as coaching) the game. Excluding the "bad kids" at young ages makes them hate the sport and never want to play.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:55 pm to texn
quote:
when that one kid who is the worst player & you give them extra coaching makes a good play...all makes it worth while.
This.
So much fun for the kid to progress from being, for instance, terrified of standing in the batter's box to having quality at bats and big hits late in the season.
It makes it all worthwhile.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:56 pm to CunningLinguist
I did it once. Same situation, but slightly older boys (11-12). I agree with what others said: set the expectations early for both the kids and the parents.
There is always at least one parent that is an issue. Just the nature of the beast. In my case it was a parent not happy about where his kid was in the lineup. My response was basically if he wanted to set lineups he should have volunteered to coach, and since I was the only one to set up I would set lineups as I saw fit.
On the playing time question, in a rec league I gave consideration to attitude and whether a kid showed up for practices. I was more concerned about development than winning, although there were a couple of guys that got more time because they were more talented, but they also put in the work.
There is always at least one parent that is an issue. Just the nature of the beast. In my case it was a parent not happy about where his kid was in the lineup. My response was basically if he wanted to set lineups he should have volunteered to coach, and since I was the only one to set up I would set lineups as I saw fit.
On the playing time question, in a rec league I gave consideration to attitude and whether a kid showed up for practices. I was more concerned about development than winning, although there were a couple of guys that got more time because they were more talented, but they also put in the work.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:57 pm to CunningLinguist
quote:
Exceptations meeting with parents is good idea
quote:
Exceptations
quote:
cunninglinguist
Nah son
This post was edited on 2/15/24 at 12:58 pm
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:57 pm to CunningLinguist
I'll never forget seeing a parent trash talking about 5 year old kids playing soccer. I pretty much lost faith in humanity at that point.
This post was edited on 2/15/24 at 12:58 pm
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:58 pm to CunningLinguist
So Ive been coaching youth tackle football for a few years now.
Clearly defining the expectations at the onset is key.
I have a parents code of conduct, a coaches code of conduct, and a players code of conduct, printed for everyone.
I talk through all 3 at the first parents meeting and the consequences for violations.
Its has seemed to help with most parents. You will always have 1 or 2 bad eggs though.
Clearly defining the expectations at the onset is key.
I have a parents code of conduct, a coaches code of conduct, and a players code of conduct, printed for everyone.
I talk through all 3 at the first parents meeting and the consequences for violations.
Its has seemed to help with most parents. You will always have 1 or 2 bad eggs though.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 12:59 pm to CunningLinguist
I coached one year for a 9-10 year old team, then umpired for Little League the next.
Both were horrible experiences mainly due to parents.
Both were horrible experiences mainly due to parents.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 1:07 pm to CunningLinguist
I coached my older son from tee ball through 14u. I'm about to start coaching my younger son in tee ball. I can tell you no, it does not get better. Parents are parents and they lack perspective. The only thing you can do is stay true to who you are, make your decisions, and stand by them. Don't try and police them when it comes to the umpires. Sometimes they need to be kicked out of a few games before they get the message.
Every year I would have a preseason meeting with the parents. I told them how I coached, what to expect, logistics, etc. Then I closed the meeting with one rule. If a parent wants to talk to me about playing time or performance of their child, I would not speak to them unless they had their child present. I am there for the kids, not the parents and any discussions about development or playing time will be had with the kids in the form of "here's what I see we need to work on for you to get where you want."
Some parents abided by that rule and some parents couldn't and ended up pulling their kids off the team. That happens and if they felt that's what was best, so be it.
Every year I would have a preseason meeting with the parents. I told them how I coached, what to expect, logistics, etc. Then I closed the meeting with one rule. If a parent wants to talk to me about playing time or performance of their child, I would not speak to them unless they had their child present. I am there for the kids, not the parents and any discussions about development or playing time will be had with the kids in the form of "here's what I see we need to work on for you to get where you want."
Some parents abided by that rule and some parents couldn't and ended up pulling their kids off the team. That happens and if they felt that's what was best, so be it.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 1:11 pm to CunningLinguist
Youth baseball is the worst. Absolute worst. Parents ruin everything for these kids... Neither football, basketball, track, soccer, nor lacrosse is like this. It's purely baseball parents. I don't understand it.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 1:11 pm to RogerTheShrubber
I coach my son in basketball from 7 to 13ish
Really enjoyed it. I would establish the rules and expectation with the parents during the first practice and I usually did not have issues after that.
The one or two parents I had issues with , I talked to them privately and we would always work it out.
Really enjoyed it. I would establish the rules and expectation with the parents during the first practice and I usually did not have issues after that.
The one or two parents I had issues with , I talked to them privately and we would always work it out.
Posted on 2/15/24 at 1:15 pm to CunningLinguist
Wait til you coach aau basketball
Posted on 2/15/24 at 1:16 pm to CunningLinguist
quote:
Anyone else have similar experiences coaching? My worry is I’ll have to do it for whole time my younger kid wants to play due to lack of coaches. She is a beginner and in no way ready for a more competitive league.
I coach youth soccer. My experience has been great, so much so, that I've continued volunteer coaching after my child moved out of rec into competitive.
I do have the distinct advantage of being 99% sure that I'm 99% more knowledgeable than 99% of the parents out there. (And those numbers may be low.)
I don't focus on winning and losing, though. I DO focus on playing well and learning the game (which means you're going to win most of the time when someone's parent is reluctantly out there coaching the other team.)
I do embrace winning (and losing). The kids are keeping score, even if the league isn't. I just try to focus people on winning by playing well (organized and smart) than just trying to score goals by any means necessary.
The other advantage I have is that I don't NEED support from the league in how to run a practice or what drills I should do, etc. I do see many of the other coaches that DO need that - and the league doesn't do that kind of outreach.
I've considered the "what next" for me in coaching, actually. If I didn't have an OT-acceptable salary, I would consider coaching "full time."
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