re: Bring Us Your Roommate Horror Stories

They assigned me a Chinese guy that didn’t speak a word of English! Sat in the middle of the floor and cooked stinking fish every day on a little Bunsen burner!

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My dorm roommate my freshman year of college was in a frat that had to hold an intervention for him because he was cutting himself. I was in the room when they all stopped by and it was super awkward. Fast forward to the summer and he killed himself because his GF broke up with him.

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That's fricking terrible.

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At least he didn’t finger your dog’s butthole.

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that he's aware of

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I don't know. Dogs are pretty in tune with that kind of thing or so I'm told.

I had great roommates. Freshman year, me and two buddies from HS had saved up enough money to rent a house together. One ended up being an alcoholic, but he didn't cause much drama at the house.

However, a girl I dated then had a crazy roommate. I spent a lot of time over there and this girl always had something going on. She was bulimic, and would throw up in the shared kitchen sink and leave it sometimes. My GF threw me a party and a bunch of people came over and had a good time. She stayed in her room the entire time, crying, until after everyone left and came and asked if she could sleep with us (she was not worth it). And called her dad to tell him that we turned her down . Girl had serious issues.

Had a roommate who must have been allergic to soap because he and his shite always stunk. He would wash his clothes and bathe, but that strong scent of BO never went away.

He got to the point where he if he was there, he was in his room with the door closed (which was good because it locked the stink in there). At some point her broke his fricking window because he had left his keys there when he went to work (he rode a bike everywhere).

Eventually he stopped paying rent so on my birthday I kicked him out (mine was the only name on the lease). After he was gone I cleaned out his room (eventually having to bathe the walls in Lysol and multiple deep carpet scrubs), I found a couple of lighters and some small sheets of tin foil (he knew I had a zero-tolerance for drugs, I think he was probably smoking crack and I just couldn't detect it over his BO).

My roommate left a pot on the stove in the middle of the night and that shite burned to hell with the worst smell. I thought I was being possessed. Scared the shite out of me. House was dark, no noise, had no idea he came home. fricking idiot came home, was hammered and started to cook then passed out in his room.

My first semester at LSU I went into the random pool for a room mate.

Ended up with a serious druggie, that would stay up tweaking, watching TV and still be rocking on the end of his bed when I got up for class the next morning. About a month in he disappeared, and I figured he quit school so I never reported him missing. Fast forward a few weeks and his parents call the land line in our dorm. I tell them I haven't seen him in weeks.

Turns out he was in jail. I only saw him one more time a few days later when his parents drove over from Houston to bail him out and pack up his stuff. I had the room to myself after that, so it all worked out.

Just typical slob shite. Had a roommate who took a bad hit to the head and spent some time in the hospital and blamed his inability to function as a roommate on any sort of normal level on it..despite being in college and handling that fine.

he would leave wet clothes in the washer till you could smell the damp downstairs, once left boiled peeld crawfish in his room till we were gagging.... we played the game of dish chicken with him till me and the other roomate said frick it and hid paper plates for ourselves....the shite in the sink he left literally grew mold that started climbing the sink.

My first roommate was a good friend but we were in separate life positions. We had both left LSU but moved in together. I was working a real full time job and he wasn’t.

I went to the store one Sunday evening and got everything I’d need for lunch for the week. Made sandwiches for the next day and everything. He and his friends stayed up smoking weed all night and when I got up at 4:00 AM the next day I had zero food left. I was a level of pissed that I never knew I had. Felt just like my parents.

Luckily, the landlord asked us to cut the lease short a few months because she was getting a divorce or something and wanted to move back in so we were able to keep our friendship intact.

My first semester at LSU, my roommate was supposedly a big time pot dealer and his side of the dorm looked like a tornado went through. He left his stuff there but also had an apartment. Got a visit from LSU PD and they got upset when I didn't know all about him.