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Message
A good buddy called me asking for money yesterday. Update 6/12
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:19 am
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:19 am
Friends since high school, in his wedding, still get dinner with him and his wife every couple of months.
Love the guy and his wife but will admit they are the classic 80-90k millionaires that the OT talks about. He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.
Insurance premiums now going up. Other bills going up. Salary isnt.
I could tell it hurt him to call. I asked him what lifestyle changes is he making. He basically said nothing yet, just gotta get through this stretch. I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.
It sucks because I think its coming for a lot of people in that income range.
Update 6/12
Had dinner with them on Friday night. Money problems were not brought up. Acted like everything was normal. They were about to leave for a week in Orange Beach staying at Turquoise Place. Her parents were going and likely paying for that trip.
Love the guy and his wife but will admit they are the classic 80-90k millionaires that the OT talks about. He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.
Insurance premiums now going up. Other bills going up. Salary isnt.
I could tell it hurt him to call. I asked him what lifestyle changes is he making. He basically said nothing yet, just gotta get through this stretch. I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.
It sucks because I think its coming for a lot of people in that income range.
Update 6/12
Had dinner with them on Friday night. Money problems were not brought up. Acted like everything was normal. They were about to leave for a week in Orange Beach staying at Turquoise Place. Her parents were going and likely paying for that trip.
This post was edited on 6/12/23 at 1:55 pm
182
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:20 am to Cosmo
You should have lent him the cash if you trust and love him and believe he will pay you back. No to any of those and it’s a hard no.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:20 am to Cosmo
The fastest way to lose a friend is to loan them money.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:21 am to Cosmo
$10.00 Bud Light down the street, biach.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:21 am to Cosmo
quote:
I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.
May not be losing much
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:22 am to Cosmo
I mean, you took the practical approach for both you and him. How he responds to that is on him. It sucks, but so does their situation.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:22 am to Cosmo
That's too bad. He must be in tough shape. Usually you ask family first. You just tell him you are putting money into your IRA or something else and you can't spare it since things are going up for you.
If it's 20 bucks then no problem once you get into the thousands then you can't do it.
If it's 20 bucks then no problem once you get into the thousands then you can't do it.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:22 am to Cosmo
It just shows that you are the very responsible one and your friends look up to you because you are perfect and they aren’t.
You should feel very proud that your friends still look up to you that way
You should feel very proud that your friends still look up to you that way
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:24 am to Cosmo
What is his profession
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:24 am to Cosmo
None of this sounds real.
I can't fathom going to a friend for money.
I also can fathom, as a friend, telling them that they would have to sell shite before I considered helping them out, especially if it was a first time thing and I was confident they would pay me back.
I can't fathom going to a friend for money.
I also can fathom, as a friend, telling them that they would have to sell shite before I considered helping them out, especially if it was a first time thing and I was confident they would pay me back.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:26 am to Cosmo
I loaned money twice to “friends” and they are “friends” no longer as they repeatedly promised (lied) about paying me back.
I paid off a family members gambling debt with no expectation of repayment.
I don’t loan to friends and family anymore.
I paid off a family members gambling debt with no expectation of repayment.
I don’t loan to friends and family anymore.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:27 am to Cosmo
The fact that he called you before trying to sell his toys (boats and side by side) tells you all you need to know. He values his material things more than taking care of his family, and more than your friendship.
No way I'd lend him a dime until he does exactly what you asked of him.
No way I'd lend him a dime until he does exactly what you asked of him.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:27 am to Cosmo
quote:
He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something. Calms down and we just kinda end it. Hope I didnt lose a friend.
I mean are we talking a couple of hundred dollars or a lot more ?
Regardless, if you didn't lose him as friend because he asked and you declined, think what the situation would be like if you loaned him the cash and he couldn't repay you. I never loan money to friends or family that I can't afford to lose if they default.
Hopefully the two of you can stay acquainted without this being an issue in the future.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:27 am to Cosmo
I know a few people like this, the issue is they're typically so upside down in the cars/boats/ATVs/toys that they can't even get out from under them to relieve themselves. If they bought all those things within the last 2 year I'd imagine they're upside down on damn near all of it.
I reckon there's about to be a whole lot of people in a similar pinch, paying $100k for a $70k truck that's now worth $50k was a bad idea.
I reckon there's about to be a whole lot of people in a similar pinch, paying $100k for a $70k truck that's now worth $50k was a bad idea.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:28 am to Cosmo
How much we talking?
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:28 am to Cosmo
You handled that as well as you could have. Getting money from you won’t fix that actual problem of overspending his income.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:29 am to Cosmo
The circumstances of how long and why he needs the money are important. If he needs emergency money to make it to the next paycheck or two because of a liquid cash issue and you didn’t give it to him, that’s messed up.
If he’s looking for a long term indefinite loan, no go.
If he’s looking for a long term indefinite loan, no go.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 8:29 am to Cosmo
quote:
It sucks because I think its coming for a lot of people in that income range.
Gonna see this more and more soon.
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