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Message
Drinking problem
Posted on 3/28/23 at 8:04 pm
Posted on 3/28/23 at 8:04 pm
I like to drink beer. Not the hard stuff. But I like to drink everyday. My problem is once I start I don’t know when to quit.
I’ve had a couple of people close to me tell me that I have a drinking problem.
I was born and raised in Louisiana where when you celebrate you drink. My mom and dad drank my whole childhood. Both still alive and successful.
I say all of that to admit that I don’t want to stop drinking. I enjoy drinking beer with my friends at a crawfish boil, a football game, Mardis gras, etc.
I really don’t want to get “sober”
I guess my question is what do I do? Do I completely give it up? Or do I just cut back a lot? Go from drinking every night of the week to just the weekends?
And just wanted to add in that the wife and I did a sober august and I went the whole month without touching the stuff. So I know I’m not some kind of hardcore alcoholic. I just apparently need to change some things.
I’ve had a couple of people close to me tell me that I have a drinking problem.
I was born and raised in Louisiana where when you celebrate you drink. My mom and dad drank my whole childhood. Both still alive and successful.
I say all of that to admit that I don’t want to stop drinking. I enjoy drinking beer with my friends at a crawfish boil, a football game, Mardis gras, etc.
I really don’t want to get “sober”
I guess my question is what do I do? Do I completely give it up? Or do I just cut back a lot? Go from drinking every night of the week to just the weekends?
And just wanted to add in that the wife and I did a sober august and I went the whole month without touching the stuff. So I know I’m not some kind of hardcore alcoholic. I just apparently need to change some things.
Posted on 3/28/23 at 8:19 pm to CrawfishElvis
Only you know you. I was in the same boat a couple of years ago. One beer was too many and 12 weren’t enough. Binge drinking is the only kind of drinking I knew.
I cut just out just about all alcohol a couple of years ago because I started eating healthier to lose weight. That helped with motivation. I enjoy waking up sober now, even if it’s 6 am on a Sunday morning.
I still drink occasionally, but I feel it a lot more now and don’t particularly care for how I feel afterwards.
I cut just out just about all alcohol a couple of years ago because I started eating healthier to lose weight. That helped with motivation. I enjoy waking up sober now, even if it’s 6 am on a Sunday morning.
I still drink occasionally, but I feel it a lot more now and don’t particularly care for how I feel afterwards.
Posted on 3/28/23 at 8:20 pm to CrawfishElvis
Find your “why” and it will help you figure out a reason to stop and cut back. Is it to get in shape? Is it to strengthen relationships and build trust in your family? Is it a moral guilt? Religion?
None of us can give you that reason. You have to find that reason on your own, but I can tell you cutting back or limiting it to special occasions will drastically improve your quality of life. Find a zero calorie non-alcoholic beverage or a fancy water to substitute during the week that gives you the feeling of having something to look forward to after work besides beer.
Like the poster above said as you cut back you will start to hate the hangovers more than you enjoy the buzz. You’ll enjoy better sleep too.
None of us can give you that reason. You have to find that reason on your own, but I can tell you cutting back or limiting it to special occasions will drastically improve your quality of life. Find a zero calorie non-alcoholic beverage or a fancy water to substitute during the week that gives you the feeling of having something to look forward to after work besides beer.
Like the poster above said as you cut back you will start to hate the hangovers more than you enjoy the buzz. You’ll enjoy better sleep too.
This post was edited on 3/28/23 at 8:22 pm
Posted on 3/28/23 at 8:59 pm to olemissfan26
Try cutting back to just the weekends. I’ve found it helpful with binge drinking to set hours boundaries on the weekend too, like I’m not going to drink before 3 PM or after 10 PM.
Posted on 3/28/23 at 9:01 pm to CrawfishElvis
Switch to whiskey neat. You won’t be chugging that. 
Posted on 3/28/23 at 9:33 pm to CrawfishElvis
Today is my 11th birthday. 11 years without a beer. I went to a treatment place, met some wonderful people in recovery, have becomes friends with a lot of them. MD’s, PhD’s, etc. All with educations and degrees in substance abuse and alcoholism. I’ve had a sponsor the whole time, plugged into a huge recovery community, have heard tons of speakers and tapes, and have attended many conventions.
Now that we have that out of the way.. the facts..
If you’ve ever had to ask if you’re an alcoholic or not, you are one.
Do you ever ask yourself if you’re a bird? Of course not, that’s ridiculous. You don’t ask yourself something you 100% know you’re not.
You can drink a few times a month and be an alcoholic. As a society we think an “alcoholic” has to meet certain criteria. The truth is, the threshold is much lower. I will post a questionnaire below from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). Take the survey to give you some evidence… if you need anymore evidence. I didn’t. I knew I didn’t have an off switch and that normal people could stop when they wanted to. I wasn’t a normal drinker. I even went a period of time without beer to prove to myself I could do it. All that did was fuel my denial that I wasn’t an alcoholic. It was a free ride to drink without guilt. So I thought.
When I started to think about giving it up I had a lot of questions. Would life be fun without alcohol? How would I go to crawfish boils, weddings, the beach, vacations, tailgates without alcohol?? It seemed absurd to me. No way was I giving it up completely. But I trusted those that told me life would be more fun without it. I thought… impossible!!! Those events weren’t happening anytime soon so I decided to give it a shot anyway. They were happy and their lives were great. I wanted that. I stopped drinking just 24 hours at a time. Day by day. Next thing I knew I had a week.. two weeks.. and so on.
They were right. All those events I listed above are FREAKIN LIGHTYEARS BETTER without booze. Oh my goodness I wish I could put it in accurate words for you. You just have to trust those of us that have gone before you. Give up the booze. You have a wonderful and happy life waiting for you that I can’t even begin to describe. It’s incredible. My only regret is that I didn’t stop years or decades sooner.
Now that we have that out of the way.. the facts..
If you’ve ever had to ask if you’re an alcoholic or not, you are one.
Do you ever ask yourself if you’re a bird? Of course not, that’s ridiculous. You don’t ask yourself something you 100% know you’re not.
You can drink a few times a month and be an alcoholic. As a society we think an “alcoholic” has to meet certain criteria. The truth is, the threshold is much lower. I will post a questionnaire below from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). Take the survey to give you some evidence… if you need anymore evidence. I didn’t. I knew I didn’t have an off switch and that normal people could stop when they wanted to. I wasn’t a normal drinker. I even went a period of time without beer to prove to myself I could do it. All that did was fuel my denial that I wasn’t an alcoholic. It was a free ride to drink without guilt. So I thought.
When I started to think about giving it up I had a lot of questions. Would life be fun without alcohol? How would I go to crawfish boils, weddings, the beach, vacations, tailgates without alcohol?? It seemed absurd to me. No way was I giving it up completely. But I trusted those that told me life would be more fun without it. I thought… impossible!!! Those events weren’t happening anytime soon so I decided to give it a shot anyway. They were happy and their lives were great. I wanted that. I stopped drinking just 24 hours at a time. Day by day. Next thing I knew I had a week.. two weeks.. and so on.
They were right. All those events I listed above are FREAKIN LIGHTYEARS BETTER without booze. Oh my goodness I wish I could put it in accurate words for you. You just have to trust those of us that have gone before you. Give up the booze. You have a wonderful and happy life waiting for you that I can’t even begin to describe. It’s incredible. My only regret is that I didn’t stop years or decades sooner.
This post was edited on 3/28/23 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 3/28/23 at 9:35 pm to pwejr88
From the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
There are 11 criteria denoting substance use disorder. If you suffer from 2 or 3 of them, you are considered to have a mild disorder; 4-5 criteria, a moderate disorder; and 6 or more, a severe disorder.
1. Drinking more alcohol than you meant to or for a longer period of time.
2. Telling yourself you will cut down or stop but failing to do so.
3. Investing a lot of your time in obtaining, drinking, and recovering from your drink of choice.
4. Cravings and urges to drink alcohol.
5. Failure to function at home, school, or work because of alcohol consumption.
6. Continued use in the face of disrupted personal relationships.
7. Putting alcohol consumption ahead of important social, occupational, or recreational activities.
8. Repeated consumption of alcohol despite recognizing the dangers it posed.
9. Continued drinking despite your knowledge of physical or psychological problems that are worsened with drinking alcohol.
10. Developing tolerance to your drink of choice.
11. Development of withdrawal symptoms that are relieved by drinking again.
There are 11 criteria denoting substance use disorder. If you suffer from 2 or 3 of them, you are considered to have a mild disorder; 4-5 criteria, a moderate disorder; and 6 or more, a severe disorder.
1. Drinking more alcohol than you meant to or for a longer period of time.
2. Telling yourself you will cut down or stop but failing to do so.
3. Investing a lot of your time in obtaining, drinking, and recovering from your drink of choice.
4. Cravings and urges to drink alcohol.
5. Failure to function at home, school, or work because of alcohol consumption.
6. Continued use in the face of disrupted personal relationships.
7. Putting alcohol consumption ahead of important social, occupational, or recreational activities.
8. Repeated consumption of alcohol despite recognizing the dangers it posed.
9. Continued drinking despite your knowledge of physical or psychological problems that are worsened with drinking alcohol.
10. Developing tolerance to your drink of choice.
11. Development of withdrawal symptoms that are relieved by drinking again.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 7:43 am to CrawfishElvis
Nowadays anyone who’s ever tasted a beer before is considered an alcoholic.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 8:48 am to pwejr88
quote:
I knew I didn’t have an off switch and that normal people could stop when they wanted to. I wasn’t a normal drinker. I even went a period of time without beer to prove to myself I could do it. All that did was fuel my denial that I wasn’t an alcoholic. It was a free ride to drink without guilt. So I thought.
When I started to think about giving it up I had a lot of questions. Would life be fun without alcohol? How would I go to crawfish boils, weddings, the beach, vacations, tailgates without alcohol?? It seemed absurd to me. No way was I giving it up completely. But I trusted those that told me life would be more fun without it. I thought… impossible!!! Those events weren’t happening anytime soon so I decided to give it a shot anyway. They were happy and their lives were great. I wanted that. I stopped drinking just 24 hours at a time. Day by day. Next thing I knew I had a week.. two weeks.. and so on.
They were right. All those events I listed above are FREAKIN LIGHTYEARS BETTER without booze. Oh my goodness I wish I could put it in accurate words for you. You just have to trust those of us that have gone before you. Give up the booze. You have a wonderful and happy life waiting for you that I can’t even begin to describe. It’s incredible. My only regret is that I didn’t stop years or decades sooner.
3.5 years here. This guy nailed it.
Every facet of your life will get better, and it's crazy because when you're in the depths of alcohol's hold you can't even imagine that being true.
But it really is. Good luck to you.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 8:51 am to CrawfishElvis
quote:
But I like to drink everyday.
quote:
I don’t want to stop drinking.
quote:
I really don’t want to get “sober”
quote:
I’m not some kind of hardcore alcoholic
You're an alcoholic.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:06 am to MrSpock
quote:
You're an alcoholic.
Yep. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
2.5 years sober here and it was the best decision of my life.
I'm not going to assess OP's situation off this one post, but generally when people close to you express to that you that you have a drinking problem, you tend to have a drinking problem.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:16 am to CrawfishElvis
No offense to the posters in this thread that are sober. I think it is awesome. They made changes to their lives that they feel is better for them and their family. Totally agree. I live by life is short. We are not even a blip on the radar of life. Do what makes you happy, as long as you are not hurting anyone. If you want to have beers on the weekend, do it. It is your life. Was I once an alcoholic? Yes. Do I still drink? Yes but I cut way back. I just try to live my life and make the most of it.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:23 am to FieldEngineer
quote:
Switch to whiskey neat. You won’t be chugging that.
until you do. wouldn't be my strategy.
as others have said. try cutting back to only weekends. You dont need to drink ever. its a want. if you find you cant, then yes, you may need to have a hard look at yourself.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:24 am to CrawfishElvis
How much beer are you drinking a day? If more than 6, try buying a 6 pack a day, then cut from there. Try making it last 2 days, then 3, then only on the weekends.
Not sure what your weight is like but you’ll be amazed how much you’ll drop by not drinking beer daily. A 6 pack is 600 calories+. You’ll be dropping over a lb a week just by making that change.
Not sure what your weight is like but you’ll be amazed how much you’ll drop by not drinking beer daily. A 6 pack is 600 calories+. You’ll be dropping over a lb a week just by making that change.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:51 am to CrawfishElvis
Start drinking NA beer when you crave one. You will naturally limit yourself because they don’t taste that good and going for a second or third just doesn’t make much sense. The first sip does taste like beer though, and they are generally a little better for you calorie wise. Lacroix has the same effect for me.
Also, you are on the right board to ask this, when I take my fitness most seriously, especially working out in the evenings, it’s easier to skip the beer because one or two will cancel the calories you just burned. When you see yourself making progress from a fitness perspective you can see that alcohol may be the difference between looking not bad to looking good.
I haven’t had a drink in over a month, and I’d love to have one. I don’t really feel that much better not drinking, maybe because I drink often but not a whole lot. So I know where you are coming from in being able to stop for a long period but cravings don’t go away. More of a habitual addiction than a chemical one, but an addiction nonetheless.
I find that you just need to discipline yourself, like only drinking on the weekends and only starting after 5pm. Or even still allow a drink on weekdays, but only after 8pm. Literally just limiting the amount of time you have to consume is helpful for me.
Also, you are on the right board to ask this, when I take my fitness most seriously, especially working out in the evenings, it’s easier to skip the beer because one or two will cancel the calories you just burned. When you see yourself making progress from a fitness perspective you can see that alcohol may be the difference between looking not bad to looking good.
I haven’t had a drink in over a month, and I’d love to have one. I don’t really feel that much better not drinking, maybe because I drink often but not a whole lot. So I know where you are coming from in being able to stop for a long period but cravings don’t go away. More of a habitual addiction than a chemical one, but an addiction nonetheless.
I find that you just need to discipline yourself, like only drinking on the weekends and only starting after 5pm. Or even still allow a drink on weekdays, but only after 8pm. Literally just limiting the amount of time you have to consume is helpful for me.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 9:58 am to CrawfishElvis
I’d suggest a couple strategies to try if you are drinking multiple drinks every day and worried about it. If your alcohol use disorder is bad then these may not be an option due to willpower/self control, but that tells you something too right?
1) Don’t drink on back to back days, but don’t set difficult limits on drinking on days you drink. Just drink fewer days. You’ll drink half as much give or take right there, and have some 36+ hour breaks for your body.
2) start drinking later. Skip the happy hour drink right after work, the “have a beer while grilling/prepping dinner”, and the beer pairing with supper. Those 3 drinks pretty much lock you into to doing nothing but drinking for the rest of the night by 6-6:30pm every weekday. It’s quite likely you find stuff you enjoy more than sitting on couch and drinking beer if you aren’t already locking into that path. You can still drink a few beers, you just do it starting later (and so you usually drink less).
If neither of these harm reduction strategies help because you just drink even more once you do start or you keep going later and drink the same amount, then I’d seriously consider quitting for an extended period and getting some assistance on understanding why your relationship with alcohol is like it is.
1) Don’t drink on back to back days, but don’t set difficult limits on drinking on days you drink. Just drink fewer days. You’ll drink half as much give or take right there, and have some 36+ hour breaks for your body.
2) start drinking later. Skip the happy hour drink right after work, the “have a beer while grilling/prepping dinner”, and the beer pairing with supper. Those 3 drinks pretty much lock you into to doing nothing but drinking for the rest of the night by 6-6:30pm every weekday. It’s quite likely you find stuff you enjoy more than sitting on couch and drinking beer if you aren’t already locking into that path. You can still drink a few beers, you just do it starting later (and so you usually drink less).
If neither of these harm reduction strategies help because you just drink even more once you do start or you keep going later and drink the same amount, then I’d seriously consider quitting for an extended period and getting some assistance on understanding why your relationship with alcohol is like it is.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 10:44 am to CrawfishElvis
quote:
I guess my question is what do I do? Do I completely give it up? Or do I just cut back a lot? Go from drinking every night of the week to just the weekends?
I was in a similar situation. I didn't even drink all that often. When I did, I was getting drunk. Not buzzed.......DRUNK. I recall switching from drinking beer while watching the game to whiskey, because I sipped whiskey and maybe had two reasonable pours in a 4 hour time span. Wasn't getting wasted. I realize that sounds dumb, but that's only becuase it was dumb. I built up a taste for whiskey and a few pours led to more and here I am shite-faced on a Tuesday. May not drink again for a week. May not drink again for a month if I really did something stupid while drunk. But eventually I'd get over whatever embarassment or the wife and I buried the fight it caused. And there I am again, over-drinking at a wedding or something.
The only way for me was to just quit. I didn't need AA (although I have been). I wasn't an alcoholic in the sense of being addicted. I just can't control myself on it and had to cut it out of my life. I'm 16 months without touching the stuff. It's just not a necessary thing for me anymore. I've cut off the option of "well if I just have a few I can have a good time and not have an issue".
I don't know your situation and can't tell you what to do. If people notice and bring it up to you, it may be a time for real reflection. I can just say that life does exist without drinking.
Posted on 3/29/23 at 6:08 pm to LSUPERMAN
quote:
No offense to the posters in this thread that are sober. I think it is awesome. They made changes to their lives that they feel is better for them and their family. Totally agree. I live by life is short. We are not even a blip on the radar of life. Do what makes you happy, as long as you are not hurting anyone. If you want to have beers on the weekend, do it. It is your life. Was I once an alcoholic? Yes. Do I still drink? Yes but I cut way back. I just try to live my life and make the most of it.
No offense taken.
I think most of the aggravation comes from people who clearly have a problem denying that there's an issue. Or people who downplay it.
If someone tells you that they are seeing some things that are worrying them about your drinking, there is an issue. Unless that person in their ife is machavellian and trying to manipulate them, they should listen. OP stated that multiple people have said they are concerned. OP is an alcoholic. Maybe not the most severe alcoholic, but there's some form of alcohol use disorder there.
Be a moderate drinker. Be a drunk. Destroy relationships. Don't touch it again. DO whatever the frick you want. Honestly, you're right, we are just a blip on the radar here. But don't lie and call other people crazy because of an addiction, or say things like "it's not that bad". If it wasn't that bad, people wouldn't mention it.
There's no health benefit gained from alcohol that you can't get from a cup of blueberries. It's point blank a negative. The only argument one can make for drinking alcohol is that someone who drinks when they want and has a stress free life where they aren't thinking about whether or not it's "good for them" might be more relaxed. But if someone asks themselves if they have a drinking problem, they have already entered into a stress paradigm that could be alleviated if they just quit drinking.
But there was something in the OP that reigns supreme over all else.
quote:
I say all of that to admit that I don’t want to stop drinking. I enjoy drinking beer with my friends at a crawfish boil, a football game, Mardis gras, etc.
I really don’t want to get “sober”
Then you won't get sober. You must want to do it or you're nothing more than a dry drunk. That's not to say if you decide you don't want to anymore that you'll never get a craving. But think about being dry for 2 months and waking up on a Saturday morning, heading to Baton Rouge, getting to a tailgate and not drinking when you want to drink. Not going to happen, buddy. You only have so much willpower.
I'll end by saying, OP, nobody here cares if you get sober. I will congratulate you, and I love to hear people getting sober, but nobody cares. We don't know you. We can validate you all you want, but you are in the ether here. The people that matter have already spoken and you'll look like a damn fool pointing to internet strangers as proof of validation.
Posted on 3/30/23 at 11:10 am to Odysseus32
quote:
But think about being dry for 2 months and waking up on a Saturday morning, heading to Baton Rouge, getting to a tailgate and not drinking when you want to drink. Not going to happen, buddy. You only have so much willpower
Because tailgating isn’t a fun activity unless you drink
It’s standing around
Posted on 3/30/23 at 4:25 pm to CrawfishElvis
I want to thank everyone for their input. There’s some real solid advice here. And that’s exactly what I was looking for.
To clear things up, I know I have a problem. I probably get drunk more than most people do. And what I meant by saying “I don’t want to get sober” is that I don’t want to have a problem. I don’t want it to be a problem if I drink at a tailgate or a crawfish boil.
I haven’t drank in the last two days and have really been staring in the mirror and asking myself some hard questions. I think my plan of action moving forward is to cut way back. No drinking on weekdays and if I do drink on the weekends, drink much less. I will try that out and it doesn’t work that I’ll have to cut it out completely. But I truly believe I can do it.
Just wanted to say thanks again to the “strangers on the internet”
To clear things up, I know I have a problem. I probably get drunk more than most people do. And what I meant by saying “I don’t want to get sober” is that I don’t want to have a problem. I don’t want it to be a problem if I drink at a tailgate or a crawfish boil.
I haven’t drank in the last two days and have really been staring in the mirror and asking myself some hard questions. I think my plan of action moving forward is to cut way back. No drinking on weekdays and if I do drink on the weekends, drink much less. I will try that out and it doesn’t work that I’ll have to cut it out completely. But I truly believe I can do it.
Just wanted to say thanks again to the “strangers on the internet”
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