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re: Have women bitten off more than they can chew w/(family courts/marriage/divorce)
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:06 pm to burger bearcat
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:06 pm to burger bearcat
If these 5+ women need / want a toy to play with I'm here for or them
This post was edited on 1/28/23 at 7:27 am
0
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:07 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
but love is a choice.
For some, sure.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:12 pm to burger bearcat
Unless you want to start a family there is no point. It’s too risky. And in that case do a prenup and research the laws of your state. The Female Imperative will crush you. Men put guns in their mouth every day because of the inhumanity of it.
That said, I was married for 26 years, loved family life and didn’t spend a dollar on attorneys during the divorce. So a lot of it depends on the nature of the relationship.
That said, I was married for 26 years, loved family life and didn’t spend a dollar on attorneys during the divorce. So a lot of it depends on the nature of the relationship.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:13 pm to Saskwatch
quote:
If you're deciding factor on getting married is how costly a divorce is then you shouldn't consider marrying that person. Destined for failure if you are already considering that consequence.
if you refuse to consider a consequence with a likelihood of a coinflip as a potential outcome then you are either too naive or immature to make that kind of decision in the first place.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:18 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
For some, sure
Lust is not a choice, love is.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:19 pm to RogerTheShrubber
Eh. To each their own. We are getting married in a few weeks with no plans for kids. We have been together 11 years, and we aren't kids anymore. Marriage is something we both believe in and desire versus being boyfriend/girlfriend until we die.
Also, prenups exist.
(Otherwise I agree with your and most people's sentiments in this thread)
Also, prenups exist.
(Otherwise I agree with your and most people's sentiments in this thread)
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:20 pm to kingbob
quote:
humans cannot choose who they’re attracted to or who they’re in love with
This is idiotic. So if your spouse gains weight/doesn’t look like they did when you got married, sorry honey I just don’t “love” you anymore. I cannot help but “love” this 22 year old model now. Wasn’t my choice though!!
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:32 pm to LouisianaLady
Things really make it nicer with no plans for kids. 11 years is a long time to be
With someone. I was with Mrs. PJ for 5 years before we got married. No matter what happens both have to learn to adjust to each other. People change over time. Some good and some not so good. I guess I’m lucky because my wife is also my best friend and I can tell her anything and knows it stays with just us.
With someone. I was with Mrs. PJ for 5 years before we got married. No matter what happens both have to learn to adjust to each other. People change over time. Some good and some not so good. I guess I’m lucky because my wife is also my best friend and I can tell her anything and knows it stays with just us.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 1:47 pm to dukke v
quote:
I’m lucky because my wife is also my best friend and I can tell her anything and knows it stays with just us.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 2:18 pm to dyslexiateechur
quote:
Hell, Gwen Stefani is having a baby in her 50’s. Women aren’t nearly as limited as men think we are.
This is exceedingly rare with or without money. Odds are they weren’t her own eggs. I think some of the comments in this thread are silly. I have a career and 3 kids, and my family is doing great. With that said, way too many very intelligent women are clueless about their basic biology. Your odds of spontaneously conceiving drop pretty fast at 35 and nosedive after 40. If you want kids, don’t put it off. There will never be a convenient time to have children. Building a family is the best thing I’ve done in my life. I like having a career, but it’s a distant second. Not everyone is the same, though. But my point is that if you want kids you need to understand your biology and project plan building a family the same way you would your career. I hate the way society lies to young women about basic biological facts. It’s been going on for decades now.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 2:20 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
love is.
For some.
Others don't have the ability to feel or comprehend it.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 2:37 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Lust is not a choice, love is.
I think one of the biggest problems today is people, especially young people, think love is an involuntary reflex. Like they believe you see someone and you “fall in love” as though it just happens by magic or something. What they’re doing though is mistaking infatuation for love. Love is not something you “fall” into. Love is a willful choice you make. You either choose to love someone or you don’t.
So what happens is people rely on infatuation to maintain their relationship. Then one day they wake up and think “I’ve fallen out of love with this person”. But what’s really happened is they’ve moved past the infatuation phase of the relationship to where the willful choice of love should take over. But they think the love should be some sort of magical thing that just happens all on it’s own. Infatuation alone can only carry a relationship only for a brief time. Only when the man and women both make the choice to love one another, which is, as I said a willful choice and an action, can a longterm relationship last. Infatuation starts relationships. Love sustains relationships.
This post was edited on 1/27/23 at 2:38 pm
Posted on 1/27/23 at 2:38 pm to Darth_Vader
quote:
I think one of the biggest problems today is people, especially young people, think love is an involuntary reflex. Like they believe you see someone and you “fall in love” as though it just happens by magic or something. What they’re doing though is mistaking infatuation for love. Love is not something you “fall” into. Love is a willful choice you make. You either choose to love someone or you don’t.
So what happens is people rely on infatuation to maintain their relationship. Then one day they wake up and think “I’ve fallen out of love with this person”. But what’s really happened is they’ve moved past the infatuation phase of the relationship to where the willful choice of love should take over. But they think the love should be some sort of magical thing that just happens blown it’s own. Infatuation alone can only carry a relationship only for a brief time. Only when the man and women both make the choice to love one another, which is, as I said a willful choice and an action, can a longterm relationship last. Infatuation starts relationships. Love sustains relationships.
None of this shite is new. Just before like 50 years ago societal norms mandated you stay together and be miserable.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 4:42 pm to Darth_Vader
I think my statement is being grossly misunderstood, and that’s partially on me.
1. You can’t force yourself to fall in love or to fall out of love. Love is like a wild plant. You cannot force it to take root nor can you force it to grow fruit, but you can water it, make sure the soil is fertile, make sure it has plenty of sunshine, fend off predators, etc. Or, you can neglect it, drown it, smother it, etc. Some love is fickle, with shallow roots that wilt quickly without proper protection. Some love is crazy resilient through every manner of benign neglect and natural disaster. Love is not lust, though the two can follow one-another. Falling in love is an uncontrollable reaction. Maintaining a loving relationship is hard work.
2. Love is many different things to many people, but all use the same word for it. This leads to misunderstandings. Love is both a noun and a verb. We cannot choose whom we have love (noun) for, but we can choose how we love (verb) others. Our hearts may choose to love someone, but our conscious brains choose how we will express it and act on it. There are many kinds of love from romantic to platonic to familial, etc, and they are all different.
1. You can’t force yourself to fall in love or to fall out of love. Love is like a wild plant. You cannot force it to take root nor can you force it to grow fruit, but you can water it, make sure the soil is fertile, make sure it has plenty of sunshine, fend off predators, etc. Or, you can neglect it, drown it, smother it, etc. Some love is fickle, with shallow roots that wilt quickly without proper protection. Some love is crazy resilient through every manner of benign neglect and natural disaster. Love is not lust, though the two can follow one-another. Falling in love is an uncontrollable reaction. Maintaining a loving relationship is hard work.
2. Love is many different things to many people, but all use the same word for it. This leads to misunderstandings. Love is both a noun and a verb. We cannot choose whom we have love (noun) for, but we can choose how we love (verb) others. Our hearts may choose to love someone, but our conscious brains choose how we will express it and act on it. There are many kinds of love from romantic to platonic to familial, etc, and they are all different.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 4:43 pm to burger bearcat
quote:
no pics sorry
Why are we here boss?
Posted on 1/27/23 at 4:49 pm to questionable
quote:
So if your spouse gains weight/doesn’t look like they did when you got married, sorry honey I just don’t “love” you anymore.
Both genders do that a lot
Posted on 1/27/23 at 4:52 pm to The Top G
quote:
None of this shite is new. Just before like 50 years ago societal norms mandated you stay together and be miserable.
Definitely some truth to this. It's a very naive hindsight to pretend that people were by majority happily married before divorce became more acceptable financially for both parties and from a societal perspective.
We tried the shaming folks into staying together and that didn't work either.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 4:55 pm to questionable
quote:
This is idiotic. So if your spouse gains weight/doesn’t look like they did when you got married, sorry honey I just don’t “love” you anymore. I cannot help but “love” this 22 year old model now. Wasn’t my choice though!!
Desire is literally not negotiable though. If your spouse was desirable at some point but gained a bunch of weight and isn’t desirable anymore, you can’t make yourself desire them. You can talk yourself into making it work anyway, but that speaks for itself: you’re now having to talk yourself into making it work, you’re no longer feeling the emotion that made you willing to make it work without thinking about it.
We make commitments as a result of our love because those commitments, when abided, make life better. Financial commitments, commitments to raising kids, and so on. But those commitments themselves are not love, and when you stay in spite of a lack of desire because of those commitments, you’re not staying because of love. You’re staying out of duty or convenience.
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:13 pm to OKBoomerSooner
Yikes!if after years together your love for your spouse isn't deeper than looks that is scary. What if one person becomes a burn victim or has some other horrible physically disfiguring accident? You just don't love them anymore because the physical attraction to what they used to look like is gone?
Wow
Wow
Posted on 1/27/23 at 5:20 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
Yikes!if after years together your love for your spouse isn't deeper than looks that is scary. What if one person becomes a burn victim or has some other horrible physically disfiguring accident? You just don't love them anymore because the physical attraction to what they used to look like is gone?
Wow
What I always find interesting is a lot of the men I've seen with that mentality tend to look like fricking potatoes themselves.
I also wonder what they're going to do when they naturally age.
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