re: Have women bitten off more than they can chew w/(family courts/marriage/divorce)

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In 2023, this needs to be at the top of every man's mind, no matter how much you think you and your fiance love each other.

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Yeah, no way in hell I'd want to be out there looking today. My wife married me when I was a PFC. Zero chance she was in it for the money.

The fixes are to start micro to foster macro changes in culture. Control what you can. Men need to learn how to communicate with women by learning how and why women communicate. They need to be self-sufficient at all major chores. They need to improve their physical and mental health. Learn that mindset, fashion, habits, and body language go a long way in determining whom you attract. Finally, Tried to educate the women in our lives the best we can to seek out healthy relationship norms.

There’s a lot of decent guys out there that just don’t wanna have to raise someone else’s kids. There’s a lot of simps out there that will allow themselves to play Second hand dad just because they’re that desperate for female attention. The problem is a lot of those guys are going to be incredibly poor part-time fathers because they don’t care about the kids. The kids are just and impediment. Not to say that there aren’t some decent guys out there that wouldn’t have a problem with raising another person’s children. There are some people out there who maybe struggle with fertility or for whatever reason don’t have kids of their own, but would want some. There are some that are attracted to that idea of being able to get to the point where you have an established family much more quickly. However, there’s also a large number of decent people for whom that will be a major turn off.

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Yet, it happens, and both should take actions to mitigate the risks of each outcome.

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Choosing the right mate and/or being cordial through the divorce helps a hell of a lot.

Sounds like people want guarantees of a least negative outcome, which puts the marriage on edge to start.

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You were probably perfect.

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No I was definitely not perfect. Was I Willing to work on my shortcomings and willing to work on the marriage? Yes. Perfect? Far from it.

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This requires a lot of effort and discipline.

It's the reason I didn't get married til much later than the rest of my friends.

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I chose well, my wife didn't.

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Disagree.

I was best man at a wedding with a guy who intentionally got his arse beaten the night before his wedding.

He KNEW the wedding was a mistake and getting beaten was his Hail Mary attempt at stopping the wedding.

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Did he get married? Is he still married? Give us the rest of the story

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I understand that, but it doesn't make it correct. The woman initiating divorce doesn't inherently make the man innocent or even the lesser of the two evils.

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i agree with you here. 'it takes 2 to tango'. a given man/woman are equally likely to be shitty people not suitable for a marriage/relationship. Both sexes cheat at roughly the same rate. you dont even need to attribute 'the bad guy' to anyone to see there has to be something else that accounts for the fact women are initiating the divorce the vast majority of instances. (65-90% of instances higher end being more educated/business oriented women).

of course the type of woman who chooses business over starting a family will be more likely to file divorce. they made that lifestyle choice because family was less of a priority.
of course women will initiate more divorces when the law is more-so on their side and protects/rewards their choice.


going back to the op...
of course the type of woman who (bit off) the work/play now family later mentality will generally trend to having worse (what they can chew) prospects later.
of course its harder to find a good man when that is less of a priority.

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The counter-argument to this is that humans cannot choose who they’re attracted to or who they’re in love with.

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Sure about the attraction thing, but love is a choice.