Marriage over or salvageable?

In !!!

Sounds like life to me, ain’t no travesty…

If there’s still love from each other, it is salvageable.

Divorce? shite that’s normal for someone married ten years with three young kids. Y’all gotta work through it, work on communicating more effectively and taking time for yourselves - without distractions, such as your phone, when you finally get time alone. Find those common interests again that don’t only involve the kids

As long as no cheating has gone on…can still be salvageable

Once someone has cheated….time to bail. Once a lowlife piece of shite cheater always a lowlife piece of shite cheater and you will never trust them fully again.

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to maybe once a week now

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This would be nice. You sound selfish.

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Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now.

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You are probably in the top 10% here for 10 years in

You sound weak.

Man up and stop sounding that it’s all about what you get out of it, you selfish child.

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Divorce? shite that’s normal for someone married ten years with three young kids. Y’all gotta work through it, work on communicating more effectively and taking time for yourselves - without distractions, such as your phone, when you finally get time alone. Find those common interests again that don’t only involve the kids

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We do try to make "us time", but the conversation just doesn't flow as well as our younger years when we were still in the "lovey dovey" phase. I think she was a much more easy going person before kids and the social isolation from the lockdowns, but now that's changed and I'm not sure if it can get back to the way it was.

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Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now.

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Are you still in as good a shape? Do you still put forth the same amount of effort? Do you still try and romance her like you did?

If there answer to any of those is no then do better.

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We went on an anniversary trip recently, and even when away from the kids for a bit finally, it didn't feel like the "good ole days" earlier in our marriage before kids.

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Marriage takes effort. Take a deep introspective look at how much effort you truly put into your marriage. How often do you do little things just so your wife will smile? How often do you sacrifice your own happiness or your own few minutes in a day just so your wife can have a few minutes to herself?

How often is the inverse of these things true?

How often do you do something for your wife and expect nothing in return?

Look deeper and honestly ask yourself How often do you “keep score” or intentionally but silently refuse to make her happy because she hasn’t done something for you that you never even communicated?

Selfishness is cancer to a relationship.

But also you cannot do it all yourself. If your wife has quit trying try open communication with her. Make some time to just talk about your relationship and make sure you are both on the same page.

Do not force the communication or interrogate your wife. Simply let her talk. How often do you truly listen instead of waiting on your turn to speak or trying to solve her problems?

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divorce seems like an even worse option between the huge financial hit it would impose on me and the damage it would do to the kids. Thoughts?

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Absent infidelity or some major breach of trust divorce is almost never the correct option. Divorce is far easier than maintaining yourself and your relationship.

Relationships are always reparable of both people put forth the effort. Relationships like people must grow and change. You must grow and change with them. You cannot stop time and you cannot stop change. You either make the effort to grow together or you grow apart but you never stop growing.

Good luck. Elevate your wife above yourself and lead by example. You cannot expect someone else to do what you won’t do yourself.