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Started By
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re: Marriage over or salvageable?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:05 pm to DeSantis_2024
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:05 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
not happy with where our marriage stands but divorce seems like an even worse option between the huge financial hit it would impose on me and the damage it would do to the kids
Also, because you love her and don't want to be without her....right?
0
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:06 pm to DeSantis_2024
Are you maybe just looking for an excuse or validation to bolt? Just be the best dad you can be to your kids.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:06 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
We do try to make "us time", but the conversation just doesn't flow as well as our younger years when we were still in the "lovey dovey" phase. I think she was a much more easy going person before kids and the social isolation from the lockdowns, but now that's changed and I'm not sure if it can get back to the way it was.
I think every single marriage has been in that same exact boat. Can’t give up now. It’ll never be the same as when you were in the lovey dovey phase, that doesn’t last forever. For better or for worse are part of the vows for a reason. You have to go back to the root of why you fell in love in the first place. This too shall pass, but you can give up.
This post was edited on 11/27/22 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:06 pm to DeSantis_2024
Keep the wife and get rid of the kids
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:07 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
We do try to make "us time", but the conversation just doesn't flow as well as our younger years when we were still in the "lovey dovey" phase. I think she was a much more easy going person before kids and the social isolation from the lockdowns, but now that's changed and I'm not sure if it can get back to the way it was.
There is your issue….you want to get it back “the way it was”. Y’all are older and your lives have changed. Embrace that and focus on keeping a loving, supportive connection together with how life looks like in the present.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:07 pm to SelaTiger
quote:
Maybe she’s a maga girl.
Nope she's politically apathetic, but at least she's not a liberal.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:07 pm to DeSantis_2024
PIIHB 
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:08 pm to DeSantis_2024
NO divorce, no separation. Financially losing for a man. Bad for kids.
Let her leave the house for weeks/months with zero financial help for her.
She will come back unless she is just a slut.
Let her leave the house for weeks/months with zero financial help for her.
She will come back unless she is just a slut.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:08 pm to Adajax
quote:
Are you maybe just looking for an excuse or validation to bolt? Just be the best dad you can be to your kids.
That's the thing, I struggle with some aspects of the parenting like navigating a 4 year old's temper tantrum. She has a different parenting style than me, my style focuses more on discipline while hers is more focused on relating to them and talking it out.
I think we'd be fine without the kids, but the kids are seriously stressing me out and wearing me down and it's affecting the marriage for sure.
This post was edited on 11/27/22 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:11 pm to DeSantis_2024
Try swinging to spice things up
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:11 pm to DeSantis_2024
Not once did you say you loved or didn’t love your wife anymore. Start with that question. Do or don’t you love her now?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:12 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
I think we'd be fine without the kids, but the kids are seriously stressing me out and wearing me down and it's affecting the marriage for sure.
Kids get easier as they get older. They are a pain in the arse again as teenagers but it's a different type of pain in the arse
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:13 pm to elsu
quote:
Stick it out. Kids make it hard, but it will get better.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:13 pm to DeSantis_2024
From what you’ve said, definitely seems salvageable
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:13 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
I think she was a much more easy going person before kids and the social isolation from the lockdowns, but now that's changed and I'm not sure if it can get back to the way it was.
I know it's shocking news, but people change. Of course 10 years and 3 kids a go she was more easy going.
I even have to remind my husband that about our marriage. It's never going to always be like your young love days.
Life isn't a movie.
Stick with it! Funds new interests yall like together that don't involve the kids.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:14 pm to fallguy_1978
If you were to ask her, what reasons would she give for why y’all are having trouble? Is there something should be looking within yourself for?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:15 pm to DeSantis_2024
The only objective problem you mentioned …
What else is going on?
quote:
Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now.
What else is going on?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:16 pm to DeSantis_2024
Sounds like a normal marriage. Try working on it.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:19 pm to TexasTiger1984
quote:
If you were to ask her, what reasons would she give for why y’all are having trouble? Is there something should be looking within yourself for?
As far as reasons specific to me, she said that I don't laugh when she tries to be funny. I could probably be more forgiving and remember to compliment her when stuff is going right rather than just complain when something she's responsible for isn't being kept up like it should be.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 4:23 pm to DeSantis_2024
marriage is hard. we've been married 9 years with 2 small kids and we fought like cats and dogs for the last 6 months. but, throughout the course of those fights we hashed out all things we do that pisses the other one off and i think we're finally coming out on the other side of it.
like other people have said, talk it out. it works.
like other people have said, talk it out. it works.
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