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Started By
Message
re: Raising Children In America
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:01 am to retooc
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:01 am to retooc
quote:
No phones. For as long as you can hold out.
My son is about to start 7th grade. A lot of his friends got phones around 5th grade and almost every one of them had one by the end of 6th grade. He doesn’t have one yet but we are considering it for his 13th bday in September. As he in sports after school almost every day during the school year a phone would honestly be pretty convenient for us on coordinating rides/walking home etc. If we do it it will be locked down as much as possible on social media apps and internet will be monitored. Always thought we would wait until HS but it’s crazy how much kids communicate with each other by text. That’s basically what he wants it for. He believes he misses a bunch of hangouts because he can’t text. Probably true.
This post was edited on 7/8/24 at 9:06 am
1
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:03 am to LuckyTiger
We need conservative hard working good people having kids. You are the parent we need to have kids.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:09 am to LuckyTiger
Find a good Christian church to join if you haven't already.
And congrats!
And congrats!
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:16 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats
My biggest regrets were saying something too quickly when I was pissed off
If I could go back and tell my younger self, I’d say take a timeout first.
Also, I’d say put away the booze for good. Teach them to pray, which I did with all of mine. Let them see you pray, let them see you humble, apologize when you should. Make them do sit ups and push ups and burpees for discipline and just go to the belt as a last resort and of course just love them and spoil them.
My biggest regrets were saying something too quickly when I was pissed off
If I could go back and tell my younger self, I’d say take a timeout first.
Also, I’d say put away the booze for good. Teach them to pray, which I did with all of mine. Let them see you pray, let them see you humble, apologize when you should. Make them do sit ups and push ups and burpees for discipline and just go to the belt as a last resort and of course just love them and spoil them.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:16 am to elposter
quote:My kids got phones at 13. It has worked out well. It didn't cause issues or problematic behaviors.
He doesn’t have one yet but we are considering it for his 13th bday in September.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:22 am to LuckyTiger
Dont let them intake trash, whether that be food or entertainment/information.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:23 am to LuckyTiger
Use abeka curriculum and ho.eschool if you can. It'll keep your child from being indoctrinate d/groomed and it'll prepare your child for college
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:30 am to LuckyTiger
Don’t not give them a smart phone, social media is horrible
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:32 am to LuckyTiger
Wow, congratulations!
I just spent 30 minutes writing out the differences between raising girls and boys. Lost my connection and the whole thing got wiped out.. now my break is over.
frick em, I'll smoke an extra cig.
In short.. girls can rip your heart out, because the bond between father and daughter is special.
Boys can be knotheads.. make you proud one minute and make you want to knock the shite out them the next.
Spare the rod, spoil the child is good advice.. but those boys will make you want to reach for a baseball bat. (Mine were 6'4" and 6'5" at 17)
Every time you think you've got it figured out they hit a new stage and you have to adjust. EVERYTHING changes at 14 years old.
They're ALWAYS watching you and learning.
Be the person you want them to be. When you see them doing something stupid or shitty and realize they learned that watching you, it really (should) make you reflect and adjust. They're going to do stupid shite. Help them and coach them, but realize when they learned it from you and coach yourself too.
That's the most important bit.. be the person you want them to be.
I only know you from your posts, but I think you'll be a great dad.
I just spent 30 minutes writing out the differences between raising girls and boys. Lost my connection and the whole thing got wiped out.. now my break is over.
frick em, I'll smoke an extra cig.
In short.. girls can rip your heart out, because the bond between father and daughter is special.
Boys can be knotheads.. make you proud one minute and make you want to knock the shite out them the next.
Spare the rod, spoil the child is good advice.. but those boys will make you want to reach for a baseball bat. (Mine were 6'4" and 6'5" at 17)
Every time you think you've got it figured out they hit a new stage and you have to adjust. EVERYTHING changes at 14 years old.
They're ALWAYS watching you and learning.
Be the person you want them to be. When you see them doing something stupid or shitty and realize they learned that watching you, it really (should) make you reflect and adjust. They're going to do stupid shite. Help them and coach them, but realize when they learned it from you and coach yourself too.
That's the most important bit.. be the person you want them to be.
I only know you from your posts, but I think you'll be a great dad.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:34 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats! I would have thought you were a little older based on your postings. That’s supposed to be a compliment.
As a father of 4, 3 of whom are still teens, the best thing I can tell you is to have patience with yourself. It’s on the job training to be a parent. You’ll make plenty of mistakes, just learn and move on. Being a father and provider is an awesome responsibility but definitely worth the trouble. Make sure your wife has no doubts about the love you have for her. Same for the child(ren). It’s all about the journey together.
As a father of 4, 3 of whom are still teens, the best thing I can tell you is to have patience with yourself. It’s on the job training to be a parent. You’ll make plenty of mistakes, just learn and move on. Being a father and provider is an awesome responsibility but definitely worth the trouble. Make sure your wife has no doubts about the love you have for her. Same for the child(ren). It’s all about the journey together.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:45 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats.
I have advice but won't give specific advice- you won't listen no one ever does. People that say their child will never watch TV, curse, and wll be perfect little kids while mom bakes cookies have always been comical to listen to.
Now the current trend is the chalkboards when they get on the bus. Every month posted with the baby on a blanket on facebook, insta where ever...
The most outrageous expensive birthday parties with a theme and new clothes bought nearly daily (to allways look great on social media) Cupcakes and cakes that were once made are paid for $$$$ in perfection.
More money on a smash cake then kids used to get for their gifts.
Congrats. Don't spoil them. Do unto others comes first. Love them.
Do not emulate these freaks and you will be fine...
I have advice but won't give specific advice- you won't listen no one ever does. People that say their child will never watch TV, curse, and wll be perfect little kids while mom bakes cookies have always been comical to listen to.
Now the current trend is the chalkboards when they get on the bus. Every month posted with the baby on a blanket on facebook, insta where ever...
The most outrageous expensive birthday parties with a theme and new clothes bought nearly daily (to allways look great on social media) Cupcakes and cakes that were once made are paid for $$$$ in perfection.
More money on a smash cake then kids used to get for their gifts.
Congrats. Don't spoil them. Do unto others comes first. Love them.
Do not emulate these freaks and you will be fine...
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Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:46 am to LuckyTiger
Tell your child to immediately get a job. Got to help contribute to the rent, groceries, and other bills.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:46 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
easier to raise. She thinks girls, I was insistent on boys.
Neither. They are equally easy to raise. Anyone who tells you otherwise just raised them wrong.
Advice? Be consistent. Be on the same team (your wife and you). Never oppose one another on handling the kids while in front of the kids. Control their access to the internet and radically limit screen time.
There are a lot of good ways to raise kids. The common denominators are love, dispassionate discipline and consistency.
I was reading a discussion on TD many years ago. It was about the best way to raise kids. One guy wrote something I've never forgotten, because I think it was the one thing I'd do if I had a do-over. He said that the secret to raising good kids was to make them work from the minute they could walk.
My wife and I raised four kids. They are all successful, well-adjusted 30-somethings. But I think we could have done better by putting them to work instead of all that wasted time in sports.
Good luck and congratulations!
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:50 am to LuckyTiger
Congrats! Don’t set specific expectations in your mind now of how your child will turn out when they are older because if they don’t achieve that, you will be disappointed/mad at them daily. For example, if you were shy as a kid or didn’t make great grades in school, you will naturally want them to be outgoing and make great grades. It’s good to have high expectations, but if the child doesn’t do those things, you will be upset at them simply for being who they are.
Also, don’t live your life vicariously through them in order to fix any past “mistakes” you made in your own life. For instance, if you regret not playing ball in school, don’t make your kid play it just because you didn’t and regretted it. Let them be their own person and decide what interests them.
Also, don’t live your life vicariously through them in order to fix any past “mistakes” you made in your own life. For instance, if you regret not playing ball in school, don’t make your kid play it just because you didn’t and regretted it. Let them be their own person and decide what interests them.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:50 am to LuckyTiger
Put your kids in martial arts early. It creates discipline and morals (as least my teachers taught that). Plus, they need to know how to defend themselves and protect others.
And I'll just reiterate these:
Go Outdoors
Little screen time
Read books
Foster your kids' learning with educational toys
Self-sufficiency (basic maintenance, cooking, mending, etc)
Most importantly, your kids will remember how much time you spent with them, not how much money you made while you were away from home or the items you bought them to make up for your absence.
And I'll just reiterate these:
Go Outdoors
Little screen time
Read books
Foster your kids' learning with educational toys
Self-sufficiency (basic maintenance, cooking, mending, etc)
Most importantly, your kids will remember how much time you spent with them, not how much money you made while you were away from home or the items you bought them to make up for your absence.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 9:54 am to Von
quote:TRUTH! preach it sistah or brother.
In short.. girls can rip your heart out, because the bond between father and daughter is special.
Boys can be knotheads.. make you proud one minute and make you want to knock the shite out them the next.
Spare the rod, spoil the child is good advice.. but those boys will make you want to reach for a baseball bat. (Mine were 6'4" and 6'5" at 17)
Every time you think you've got it figured out they hit a new stage and you have to adjust. EVERYTHING changes at 14 years old.
A good marriage with genuine love is most important.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 10:16 am to LuckyTiger
I am a big believer in free range children starting around age 4 (front yard, back yard, garage with no supervision) and then free range the whole neighborhood about age 6 (tell them to be home when it gets dark).
All of us small town boys were raised that way back in the day and nobody got in trouble. It taught you to be careful because mommy and daddy can't help you if you screw up.
All of us small town boys were raised that way back in the day and nobody got in trouble. It taught you to be careful because mommy and daddy can't help you if you screw up.
Posted on 7/8/24 at 11:05 am to LuckyTiger
Your life has changed drastically……..for the better
Keep us posted
Posted on 7/8/24 at 5:08 pm to dek81572
I thank all of you for your thoughtful responses and kind words. I not only bookmarked this thread but I am actually going to print these pages and keep them.
It’s been a wonderful day and the feeling of enormous responsibility has flown in and out with complete happiness.
Thank you again.
It’s been a wonderful day and the feeling of enormous responsibility has flown in and out with complete happiness.
Thank you again.
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