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re: Why do women post about having still borns on social media
Posted on 12/2/22 at 6:55 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Posted on 12/2/22 at 6:55 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
The only social media I need is LSU and hunting
0
Posted on 12/2/22 at 7:55 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
Because they are fricking idiots
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but if it has to happen, I wish assholes like you would be the ones to experience it.. Well, I shouldn't say that, your wife or girlfriend shouldn't have to be the one to deal with it just because you are a pitiful a-hole.
If reading someone's post about having a still born upsets you, you are too mentally weak to handle going through something like that.
Seriously, are yall unable to have any sympathy for a woman who goes through this?
Posted on 1/25/23 at 12:58 pm to jmcwhrter
quote:
That's one time when a comment section filled with women saying "happened to me too" might actually be helpful
This. My wife and I just lost our first child at 23 weeks 2 weeks ago. She didn't want to post it, but we were at Walkons after the gym meet the other day (first time going back out in public) and on 2 separate occasions, some people we knew came up to her and told her congratulations on the pregnancy and how was she feeling. The look on my wifes face, and the other persons face when she told them we lost our little girl, is not fun to deal with. So she made a post hoping that difficult conversation out in public didnt have to happen again.
And shes been DM'd by several mothers who dealt with it and are helping her grieve because they understand it.
And this comes all after spending over 25k dollars on 2 IVF cycles, one which failed and one which felt like our miracle, only to end up here. And if God does allow us to get pregnant again, she has said she will not even be posting a pregnancy announcement this time bc its just been too hard on her.
Dont be an a-hole, just scroll past it and live your life.
ETA: And now we could open up our own flowershop at the house with how many plants have been delivered to us. I have read that dark humor is typically a way to grieve and i found out my wife has that; she said yesterday "I'm suppose to be taking care of a baby, not plants" lol
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 1:03 pm
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:09 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
quote:
Why do women post about having still borns on social media
Because they need prayers you heartless bastage!
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:34 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
quote:
Hawgnsincebirth55
What a piece of shite. Not sure if you're functionally retarded, or just the average angry incel seeking attention. But, congratulations, you got your attention. Loser.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:43 pm to Proximo
quote:
Do you think that’s going to attract a man?
Maybe a particularly hungry cannibal
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:45 pm to Tyga Woods
quote:
Attention. I have one ex school mate that posts the pic of her dead baby every year on the anniversary. She gets a hundred “thoughts and prayers” from her friends and she responds to every one.
Most social media posts are about attention (the ones congratulating their kid or wishing them happy birthday when kid isn’t even on Facebook can be little obvious at times on who really wants the attention), so I am not sure how negative you are specifically being about your ex school mate’s annual pics of her still born child or just commenting on social media posts in general.
Do you feel the same towards someone posts annual pics of baby who passed away at some point after birth?
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:48 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Sorry her tragedy is getting in the way of your day.
Anyway, some people go overboard on the socials, I agree. This is not one of them. Women have been trained to not talk about the painful realities of miscarriages and stillborns. I never have an issue when I see someone talk about it online. Because I always end up seeing someone helping that mom in a genuine way. We are made to be in community with one another and I honestly believe in this case, it brings out the best in humanity with people who care and want to help via their experiences or resources.
My third child was in the NICU for a while and I had no clue how excruciating it was until I experienced it myself. My child was on a vent and wasn’t doing well, and because I asked for prayers on fb (not my usual MO but I knew prayers would help, not hurt) I ended up getting connected with a non profit that offers support and connection with another mom who experienced the same. Basically it just gave me someone to emotionally unload on that wasn’t my husband or family… like someone else said, my hormones were JACKED and even though I consciously knew my baby should make it, my emotions were a wreck seeing my son with a million tubes and lines going everywhere from his little body. That woman prayed for me, with me, and just was “there” for me in a way that only someone could be who’d endured the same.
I’m usually good for a social media is bad thread, but not for this reason.
Anyway, some people go overboard on the socials, I agree. This is not one of them. Women have been trained to not talk about the painful realities of miscarriages and stillborns. I never have an issue when I see someone talk about it online. Because I always end up seeing someone helping that mom in a genuine way. We are made to be in community with one another and I honestly believe in this case, it brings out the best in humanity with people who care and want to help via their experiences or resources.
My third child was in the NICU for a while and I had no clue how excruciating it was until I experienced it myself. My child was on a vent and wasn’t doing well, and because I asked for prayers on fb (not my usual MO but I knew prayers would help, not hurt) I ended up getting connected with a non profit that offers support and connection with another mom who experienced the same. Basically it just gave me someone to emotionally unload on that wasn’t my husband or family… like someone else said, my hormones were JACKED and even though I consciously knew my baby should make it, my emotions were a wreck seeing my son with a million tubes and lines going everywhere from his little body. That woman prayed for me, with me, and just was “there” for me in a way that only someone could be who’d endured the same.
I’m usually good for a social media is bad thread, but not for this reason.
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 1:49 pm
Posted on 1/25/23 at 1:50 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
need that attention
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:03 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
In a society where for a lot of people their “community” is through social media, she’s likely just looking for support.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:11 pm to Jcorye1
quote:
I've gone back and forth on this. At the end of the day, while I wouldn't do it, people handle grief in different ways
They’re probably also looking for support from fellow women
Geoff, 45, Breaux Bridge be damned
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:21 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
quote:
Like damn it’s 9 AM I’m not trying to be depressed all day. Might as well be watching a Tom Rinaldi special. I get it you’re sad but damn the rest of us don’t need our day ruined. Anybody else know people that do shite like this?
I'm guessing you don't have a lot of joyous days to spare if seeing someone grieving their own loss ruins one of them.
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 2:23 pm
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:22 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Wow. Um maybe just don't use social media then.
They should have thought of you first before posting about a very traumatic even that happened, stupid women. Ugh.
They should have thought of you first before posting about a very traumatic even that happened, stupid women. Ugh.
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 2:24 pm
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:23 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
I’ve never been a woman nor have I given birth to a stillborn child so I’m not going to judge.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:30 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Maybe they need to talk about it and it’s the easiest way? Why do people post here to tell us their parent or pet died?
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:30 pm to Alt26
quote:
Obviously that had to be an unimaginable crushingly sad experience. And there is no doubt she loved the child even though it only lived for a few hours. But I will never understand the need to post something like that on FB other than to garner sympathy and attention. The deceased child is obviously never going to see the post and can't personally be wished Happy Birthday by well-wishers.
Perhaps it is just my nature as an introvert, but I can't imagine needing, or desiring attention for what would be one of the saddest moments of my life.
So why do people pay a lot of money to post an obituary in a newspaper.
Same difference, IMO.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 2:33 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
I couldn't do it but I am sure it has been said that it's therapy and also you will prob find some other moms who have gone through this and you can connect with them. Another aspect is most people announce pregnancies on FB, they may announce the death of their child so people wont be asking about the baby.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 3:01 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
holy frick shut up
Plenty of babies are alive and moving in utero, the moms (and dads from the outside) can feel it - then something can happen and they’re born dead or die during the child birth
But to say they never truly lived is ignorant
frick you
Posted on 1/25/23 at 3:05 pm to jeffsdad
quote:
I can see someone on social media say something like, "my unborn died yesterday". simply because if they do not they would have friends continually asking how the pregnancy is going.
This is a solid reason, and I generally hate social media. Get the bad news out all at once so you don’t have to answer the same heartbreaking question every day for months as you see different friends, etc.
Posted on 1/25/23 at 3:25 pm to Goldrush25
quote:
I'm guessing you don't have a lot of joyous days to spare if seeing someone grieving their own loss ruins one of them.
At 9AM - when he's checking this woman's social media profile for some reason. At 9AM.
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