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Started By
Message
re: Why do women make men do things they don't want to do
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:58 am to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:58 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Women always think they can mold/develop their husband.
Men always expect their wife to remain the same as when they first met.
men marry thinking their wives won't change, but they do.
women marry thinking their husbands will change, but they won't
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 8:59 am
1
Posted on 12/18/24 at 8:59 am to poncho villa
“I didn’t really like the musical but I really enjoyed spending time with you” boom done and you probably get a BJ
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:00 am to piratedude
quote:
men marry thinking their wives won't change, but they do.
women marry thinking their husbands will change, but they won't
That's the quote
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:01 am to poncho villa
This is not hard to understand. There is a scale with regards to level of involvement of your female partner in the area of intimacy. On the left side It goes from absolutely nothing and anger if you bring up the thought of something intimate to somewhere in the middle which is laying there and letting you do what you got to do but they are not really involved. Next level of the scale is when they say to you I know you need to do something to take the edge of but has to be super quick and then at the right side of the scale is that they are very willing, actively involved and it's as much about the journey as it is the destination (so to speak) with bonus plans for something like round 1, eat dinner and recover then round 2.
The level of your interactions in their day to day and other events dictates their level on this scale. If you like living on the left side, go ahead, stand your ground on "principle". By the way, logic and fairness have zero impact on this scale. Trying to apply it automatically moves things to the left. They know this as well, but you can't speak of it. You get to influence (not determine, as there is no logic) the general trend of the scale left or right by your actions. You want to move the scale right, don't do something that negatively impacts their joy in a situation that they are excited about such as making it known that you aren't happy to be there.
Apply this during the holiday season with events that they want to do or have to do and see what happens. May be a happier new year for you!
The level of your interactions in their day to day and other events dictates their level on this scale. If you like living on the left side, go ahead, stand your ground on "principle". By the way, logic and fairness have zero impact on this scale. Trying to apply it automatically moves things to the left. They know this as well, but you can't speak of it. You get to influence (not determine, as there is no logic) the general trend of the scale left or right by your actions. You want to move the scale right, don't do something that negatively impacts their joy in a situation that they are excited about such as making it known that you aren't happy to be there.
Apply this during the holiday season with events that they want to do or have to do and see what happens. May be a happier new year for you!
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:01 am to poncho villa
Women are narcissists, damn near all of them. She wanted you to say that you didn’t really care for the play, but you could tell she liked it at and that’s what matters to you.
Constant reassurance. That’s what most want.
Constant reassurance. That’s what most want.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:07 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Participating in activities with women is a form of intimacy in their genes. Most men don't understand this and see it from their individualistic/selfish perspective.
The problem is that without understanding why this happens, the guy can't effectively communicate with his partner to discuss these things clearly. Guys just bury it inside and get all emotional and bitch in the comfort of other guys (like this message board), while ironically claiming women are the ones always acting emotional and bitching/complaining.
This is part of the emotional pathology I referenced in my post above. It nerfs effective partner communication which destroys both the two-way street of understanding in the relationship and building boundaries for both. What happens is this builds like a snowball rolling downhill and THEN guys just blow up about it and it leads to arguments and is inefficient in resolving the problem.
You sound gay and I'm not takind advice from a gay man
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:07 am to poncho villa
It’s their nature. I thought I had a free Saturday coming up because my mother in law is taking my wife and kids to NYC for the nutcracker. Nope, wife told me I have a ticket as well and we are catching an early train to the city. PHUN!!!!!!!!!’
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:08 am to poncho villa
when they no longer have the power you can just tell them, "I'm not doing that"
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:09 am to ShoeBang
quote:
This, while being the best answer, shows how women are. If I know a friend or family member won’t enjoy something that I do enjoy, I don’t invite them out of respect. Most Women don’t operate like that. As long as they are happy they don’t care that anyone else isn’t. Thank Christ I didn’t marry a kunt like that.
So, while I don’t deny there are women like that, we don’t have enough context here without knowing what led up to the event. Two quick examples:
Recently, my wife let me know that she wanted to go see Khruangbin in New Orleans and asked if I wanted to go. I responded that being I didn’t listen to them, I would be perfectly happy if she went with a friend who would be more into it, but if she wanted me there, I was there. She ultimately decided she wanted me there. We got dinner before, went to the show, and while it didn’t change my life, there were parts I genuinely enjoyed. And afterwards, when she asked me whether I enjoyed the show, you know what we talked about? Those parts I enjoyed. Know what I didn’t bring up? Parts I didn’t enjoy.
Second example is more hypothetical. Coincidentally with this thread, while I could take or leave concerts, I love good broadway style musicals. I have season tickets for the Broadway season in Baton Rouge. My wife can take or leave them; she enjoys some but not really others. She also knows that she’s never required to come with me. If she doesn’t want to see a show, let me know, and I’ll do something with her ticket. But if she self selected to come to a show, I asked her how she liked it, and she told me she didn’t and found it boring, I would be fairly fricking annoyed by that response. You self selected to come. Find something you liked and be a human being for five seconds. It won’t hurt.
With all of that said, she may have just shown up and said “hey, I bought these tickets, deal with it and clear your schedule”. In that case, he should have communicated any issues at that point, because stain on her. If he didn’t, stain on him. Suck it up. If she interacted with him more like how I discussed above, then he’s just a dick
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:10 am to poncho villa
Because they want to be in control and want to change you.
Some pussies allow their women to control them and that’s ok.
Just tell her, you aren’t sleeping in the other room or the couch but if she would like to, she can.
Because ultimately, she can can get glad in the same pants she got mad in and gtf over it. If not, tell her to wear a helmet cause life is hard
Some pussies allow their women to control them and that’s ok.
Just tell her, you aren’t sleeping in the other room or the couch but if she would like to, she can.
Because ultimately, she can can get glad in the same pants she got mad in and gtf over it. If not, tell her to wear a helmet cause life is hard
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:11 am to poncho villa
quote:
She asked me if I had a good time and I said not really it was boring.
Well your problem is in your delivery.
You could have said you enjoyed spending time with her, but that the musical wasn't really your favorite or something. So that she hears you still like spending time with her (whether you did or not lol).
We all have to do things we don't want, you can't pretend like she's never sat through something boring for you before. Maybe she just didn't voice her displeasure like you.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:14 am to HoustonChick86
quote:
We all have to do things we don't want, you can't pretend like she's never sat through something boring for you before.
The primary difference is that men are typically fine doing these activities alone. Our partner accompanying us is not a form of intimacy for us. Just like how bitching and complaining, er, venting, is not a form of stress relief for us.
I imagine a lot of the times you had to sit through something boring for him, he was able and willing to do it alone but you wanted in...unless we're talking like employment-related events where having your spouse with you matters in terms of your status in the company.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:15 am to poncho villa
quote:
Guess I'm the a-hole forever and always
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:16 am to Cdawg
I don't know why the emoticon, sometimes dudes need to be told to stop being an a-hole. Fiance is the one that coined that phrase also.
Thanks.
quote:
Good luck!
Thanks.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:16 am to poncho villa
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/4/25 at 3:56 pm
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:19 am to Joshjrn
quote:
Recently, my wife let me know that she wanted to go see Khruangbin in New Orleans and asked if I wanted to go. I responded that being I didn’t listen to them, I would be perfectly happy if she went with a friend who would be more into it, but if she wanted me there, I was there. She ultimately decided she wanted me there. We got dinner before, went to the show, and while it didn’t change my life, there were parts I genuinely enjoyed. And afterwards, when she asked me whether I enjoyed the show, you know what we talked about? Those parts I enjoyed. Know what I didn’t bring up? Parts I didn’t enjoy.
Best response in this thread.
OP, idk your wife but if my wife asks me to go to something it’s because she wants to share it with me. Anything she wants to share with me, it would probably make her pretty happy if I went in with an open mind. If I go in with an open mind and I’m really uncomfortable somewhere, I’ll tell my wife I’m ready to go and, knowing I’m not an a-hole, she will figure that it must be pretty serious because I’m also asking her to leave something she wants to leave. I wouldn’t do that unless I was seriously uncomfortable.
How hard is it to enjoy the fact that you get to do something with your spouse?
You know one day one of you is going to be dead and the other will be wishing you had a bit more time?
Or maybe not. Maybe a lot of folks on this board shouldn’t be married in the first place.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:19 am to The Third Leg
quote:
Women are narcissists, damn near all of them. She wanted you to say that you didn’t really care for the play, but you could tell she liked it at and that’s what matters to you.
Constant reassurance. That’s what most want.
This right here, they can't fricking help it.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:21 am to Odysseus32
quote:
How hard is it to enjoy the fact that you get to do something with your spouse?
There is some irony in the "women are narcissists/selfish" responses while ignoring the narcissism and selfishness involved in rejecting what you posted.
I've done stuff with my hard core male friend group I didn't 100% want to do and would rather have stayed home by myself and done what I specifically wanted to that day, too. For whatever reason, men ignore these events to hyper-focus on the same situations with their women. This is part of the psychological-emotional shortcomings I referenced earlier.
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:23 am to Odysseus32
quote:
Or maybe not. Maybe a lot of folks on this board shouldn’t be married in the first place.
So you think if some dude isnt a passive aggressive pussy, he shouldnt be married?
Sounds like you want a woman who doesnt have any respect for you
This post was edited on 12/18/24 at 9:25 am
Posted on 12/18/24 at 9:23 am to poncho villa
I’m the a-hole because I don’t want to stay out in the yard everyday for 2 weeks until 7pm adding more flashy Christmas decorations or moving decorations around.
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